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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to quit when I’ve just started?

12 replies

Farmerjoeswife · 06/08/2024 12:18

I was asked to help a nursery setting that’s a charity, by being a chair of the committee. I have some experience of committees but mainly business focused. I’ve never worked in a childcare setting or had any dealings with Ofsted. My one DC only attended for a short time and it was in this time I was asked rather urgently to take it on as the admin/chair (a mum) could no longer do it due to personal reasons (don’t know why).

I didn’t realise how much work is involved! I keep getting emails saying I’m head of this and that and a Ofsted nominated person now?! The admin mum said she’d continue to do the admin and that I just have to sign things off but I keep finding discrepancies and errors that I think could have the potential to be quite serious so don’t feel happy if my name is on the line.

The finances are a mess, staff are so lovely, but there’s no ‘business’ organisation/admin and other committee members have said they want to leave as their kids no longer attend too (although no one has officially said that yet, just in person to me). I’m so tempted to officially quit before anyone else does.

I could turn it all around with a lot of work and time but there’s no real benefit to me to do that, and I feel bad to let them down but it isn’t what I thought it would be, and I’m not being paid unlike the mum who does the admin. I did one meeting and someone commented saying I’m in charge now and everyone groaned as I did the meeting quite business like as in my experience that’s how committee meetings are ran? The admin mum doesn’t like it if I question things which I get is annoying as I think she wanted me to replace her name but leave her to it.

How do I quit without upsetting people as it seems I can’t do wrong for right? We live in a small community so I see these families a lot.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 06/08/2024 12:20

I think you simply have to tell them you're unable to continue as the role is more complex than you were led to believe.

Harvestfestivalknickers · 06/08/2024 12:26

I feel for you OP. I helped a playgroup by being on the committee, never again. The role of chair was like a hot potato - no one wanted to do it. The way I got out of it was by inventing a 'personal issue' that unfortunately meant I was unable to devote the time needed to the playgroup. I didn't give any more details to anyone, just kept it brief saying it was going to take up a bit of my time going forward.

Createausername1970 · 06/08/2024 12:27

Also, you need to leave sooner rather than later. I got roped on to a committee for a club my DS went to, not as complex as a nursery, and it was the guilt about leaving that kept me doing it for far too long. He stopped going about 6 months after I started, but I was doing it - and begrudging it - for about 2 years.

Tell them now that you misunderstood the role and you know you are not the right person and hand it all back to the admin person.

CautionaryTaleGirl · 06/08/2024 12:29

You need to.step down due to personal issues or a change in your circumstances. No other explanation needed. And I agree with a pp, do it sooner rather than later.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 06/08/2024 12:32

Resign before the errors and oversights catch up with you. Your child isn't attending, it's too much for somebody with what sounds like zero governance training and yes, it will affect you personally and professionally if it turns out that it's being mismanaged under your watch.

Scentsless · 06/08/2024 12:38

I agree. Say for personal reasons you aren't able to continue. I hope you aren't down as a trustee, as that comes with more responsibilities. If you are make sure you resign as trustee also.

BleachedJumper · 06/08/2024 12:42

Yep, call it a day asap and be firm on your final date, whenever you want that to be.

Username197 · 06/08/2024 13:27

I feel awful for you OP. It sounds like you were tricked into this role.

As the nominated individual for Ofsted, it basically means you are accountable and responsible for everything. Any contact, action, etc is to you directly. You are expected to have a very thorough understanding of all legal requirements. If you resign, make sure you also personally resign from this role directly to Ofsted. Nobody else can resign you on your behalf.

Viviennemary · 06/08/2024 13:44

Just be honest and say the role requiress a lot more time and responsibility than you realised. And you give notice from such a date. Or just say personal reasons or family commitments.

cansu · 06/08/2024 14:10

Resign. Agree with others that you will carry the can if something goes wrong.

Farmerjoeswife · 06/08/2024 15:13

@Username197 oh god! That was what I worrying about regarding Ofsted! I have zero clue about any of it and only heard horror stories. I shall contact them directly to resign.

OP posts:
Username197 · 06/08/2024 17:57

Farmerjoeswife · 06/08/2024 15:13

@Username197 oh god! That was what I worrying about regarding Ofsted! I have zero clue about any of it and only heard horror stories. I shall contact them directly to resign.

No probs, it is better you know what you are signed up for now. Have you completed the paperwork for Ofsted to be the nominated person?

It’s not all horror stories, Ofsted can be very helpful. The idea of a nominated person is for them to liaise with one direct person who has responsibility when it is an organisation rather than he said/she said.

Feel free to pm if need any advice. I have working knowledge of committee run nurseries x

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