Does throwing and paying for a party count as a gift?

[Friyay27]

A friend and I are throwing another friend a baby shower, we've organised everything paid for food, decorations and drinks.
AIBU to think this doesn't count as a gift, friend thinks it does, I just don't want to appear mean, nor do I want to make my friend fell bad if I get a gift and she doesn't
(Yes I know about the general dislike for baby showers in general, but here we are)

The fact that op said "we've organised everything paid for food, decorations and drinks" would suggest that it's kind of a done deal, and that it was all done by the two of them.

Thanks everyone ! It's a hard one, last time I threw a baby shower it was for my best friend and I also bought a big gift too. But that was just after COVID, she is my best friend in the whole world and it felt right due to her family circumstances. Talked to my friend, she has already bought and gifted a few items. So I'm going to buy something small to give at the party and once Bub is here we are going to buy something (for her)
Yes party is all planned and paid for and we aren't looking for any contributions from any of the guests.

So? I am used to one or two doing all that and the cost of it then being split by the larger friendship group attending. As in “we’ve organised the food, decorations, drinks, and venue and the cost is £20 each, please send me the £ before the day. Xxx”

And it being done by the two of them doesn’t necessarily mean no one had input into it prior or during as has been suggested.

And it being done also doesn’t mean it can’t be changed as in “OP, £20 is a bit high any way we can reduce to £18 each?”

and OP can go “just got off phone with venue and £18 each means no party hats 🥳 is that ok?”

What I am used to isn’t unusual and I don’t know why OP and others think she should be stuck with the entire bill for the baby shower because she volunteered to do the organising.

So?

That's clearly not the case here, so your experience is irrelevant.

We've paid for it all, we offered to do it. It's not a known circle of friends, but a few little groups - who we don't know. There is no way I'll be messaging a group of women today saying, oh hey you owe us 50 quid!

Yes it counts, unless you are very well off.

I personally wouldn’t expect a gift if my friends had organised and paid for a party .

This was very kind of you and I am sure that everybody would see it as your gift to the expectant mother.

It counts. And bonus gifts do not go astray!

the shower is amazing! But even just something small ‘auntie got that for you!’ You’re already putting a lot into this friend, I wouldn’t skimp an extra 30$ to get a cute fluffy something.

i wouldn’t talk it over with your co host. Just do you. Maybe mention to baby momma that you talked about it and friend figured the shower was a gift, but you just couldn’t resist cute fluffy! Then co host isn’t thrown under the bus