Am I alone in feeling this way?

[Orangeandpinknails]

Bit of a long and random post but..

I'm feeling very confused and somewhat depressed in life at the moment. I'm 33 and have a young child, my only child, have a mortgage and a partner (child's dad) and I just feel so emotional and lost. I have a degree but a job that I don't feel happy in, I'm bringing home just enough money to pay the bills every month but nothing to do anything nice with, house still.needs decorating from moving in 3 years ago. I feel like i dont know what I'm doing as a parent, feel like I'm always judged and being told I should be doing this and that, I'm angry all the time and sad all the time, I'm very nostalgic and have very strong deep feelings about life in general. I know it all sounds strange but I can't even explain how I feel. I cry every day about things I'm happy about, sad about, things I miss, how I thought life would be when I was younger, thinking about losing loved ones, loved ones I've already lost..just a ball of massive emotions all of the time.. I have big plans but don't do anything about them, I have low self esteem. I used to be slim and care very much about my appearance but now I'm obese and think I lol terrible but I feel I have no time to do anything for myself to make me feel happy. I look miserable, my eyes have changed and I look and feel different to what I did a few years back. I can't help but feel depressed about how fast life is going/changing and feel sad that I am 33 but grateful that I have been blessed enough to live this long, I miss the old days when all my family were alive and worry about my little girl living a full life.. I feel very strong emotions all the time and feel bitter and angry at how life is these days with all the lies from the government / war. I'm angry at my workplace and how they treat staff (and me) for being off work with my sick child, acting like I'm lying or like I should have alternative childcare. If I need to be off with my sick child, I will be off! I don't have anyone else to care for her apart from her dad who also works so we have to do hat we have to do. It feels like there's pressure from every angle

This is sad to read and sounds very much to me like you need to seek some help. Have you spoken to your GP about how you feel?

I have been to GP in past before about depression, I don't find that anti depressants work for me and I've had therapy too, it's too expensive and don't feel like it helps much. I need a routine and a life change but don't know where to start. Not sure if I'm missing a diagnosis of something

I think if that hasn’t helped you, small changes are where to start. Do you do any exercise for both a physical and mental boost? Prioritising this may help. I always find just getting outside regularly is a good starting point in this regard. A long walk at lunchtime or couch to 5km gives a great level of fulfilment and actually then has a knock on effect to how you begin to feel about life. I really hope you are ok.

It’s sounds to me like you need to take control and I do feel like if you begin to achieve in something unrelated to work (my example is just exercise in terms of building up to run/jog a short distance) you begin to feel like you can tackle other issues.

Find a different therapist, and work very hard in sessions.

Some of this totally resonates with me. I feel so strongly about various things and I too get emotional at the thought of ‘life’ and the natural progression of growing old, losing loved ones etc. I’ve just turned 30 this year and feel like I’m on a downhill slope now which is a really sad way to look at things. My son is nearly 4 and genuinely keeps me going. I just find ‘life’ and the thought of what’s to come really hard even though on the surface I have everything I could need, family, friends, lovely house and a nice job. My emotions are so strong, either really happy and energetic to then really emotional, unmotivated and low and full of anger that I just think it’s more than depression but not sure how to explain it all to my GP who just offers anti depressants. I can’t really explain it but I understand how you feel x

I feel this and think I have ADHD and am waiting for an assessment

I feel like this too x

I also thought possible ADHD, and pretty sure I have it too. Also life is hard with a small child but it gets easier when they are older. Before DC it was easier to get things done at times when I could, with DC you are tied to their schedule.

This is very good. I’ve recommended it to several colleagues and am now half way through. I work in the field and I know the counsellor is excellent
9 months MH support and coaching

Are you in the UK @Orangeandpinknails ?