Was I wrong to have a go at my daughter?

[spellingbeequeen]

Daughter is 17 and sees a clinical psychologist once every few weeks. This doesn't come cheap but as she enjoys the sessions and finds them beneficial, I'm happy to pay.
She was home all day today, fannying about, and ran late for her session. She asked me for Uber money, which I gave (she'd usually get the bus). Unfortunately her session will have started after me having a go at her.
I am fed up of the lack of responsibility. Home all day, no chores nothing, and still can't make it on time. Her retort of "it's only a fiver" is hardly the bloody point. I've also raised her - believe it or not - to have more consideration than this (keeping in mind the psychologist's time). According to my daughter, though, the psychologist runs late every time and the time is made up at the end.
My daughter and I normally get on really well. But I can't get on board with her selfish, entitled attitude.
AIBU?

Why is she home all day and not at least contributing to the chores?

If it is only a fiver, she can pay you back then.

Why is she not helping out at home?
Holiday from school or work?

She is 18 yo in a minute ask her to step up.

Why raise her to not bither doing chores or help or contribute? Surely you've not got what you raised? Set some rules down.

There’s clearly more at play. How did you have a go at her? Any link to why she’s struggling and needs to see a psychologist? She’s in that awkward teen stage so try to be a bit careful.

Does your daughter not have a weekend job? Usually during the holidays, most youngsters take on extra hours. If she doesn't have a weekend job, perhaps it's about time she did?!! It would give her money, make her learn to budget and take responsibility for making sure she's at work on time etc. At 17, she should be doing some chores too! My son is 13, and does small chores around the house. You need to start making her take responsibility for herself, she'll be 18 shortly.

Having a go at her has probably not helped her become more responsible, though it may have been cathartic for you!

It’s not unusual for teens to be self absorbed. Are any of her mental health needs related to something that might make this sort of life skill more difficult (like ADHD)? If so, I would look to experts for suggestions on how to support her improving in this area.

If not, I would expect her to pay back the uber money.

If she is getting less therapy because she is frequently late, I would probably start talking about consequences for not getting there on time but not if her therapist is generally late, they make up the time at the end of the session and so she isn’t “wasting” your money by getting less time than you’re paying for (which is what you seemed to say your DD is claiming). If that’s the case I would just leave it. If she’s like it in other areas of life, use those areas to try and emphasize the need to be on time, not an area where there are no actual adverse consequences.

“I am fed up of the lack of responsibility. Home all day, no chores nothing”

Give her some responsibilities and also set her some chores. Is she not in education or have a job?