Holiday scenario

[blackbirdsinginginthenight]

We are currently on holiday with our two DS. It's my DH birthday later this week. We have a boat trip planned today which he was keen to go on, it takes you to hidden beaches, some historical sites, opportunities to snorkel. It's a little boat for ten people.

I was never keen as I am not a strong swimmer, and I get sea sickness, but didn't want to disappoint everyone so agreed.

The day of the trip has arrived, my youngest DS (4) has an ear infection, we can't pick up antibiotics until this afternoon as the pharmacy will have them in, but when we are on the boat, which is a three hour trip, and an hour and a half drive from where we are staying. He is sore, but we are giving nurofen.

My other DS (6) has had a nasty reaction to a mosquito bite next to his eye. His eyelid is puffy, swollen, red and sore, and he can open his eye about 30%.

I think that they both should have a more chilled day, at home or near home, the eldest should see a doctor, and the little one should start taking his antibiotics.

DH thinks I'm making it about me, because I don't want to go on the boat, and using the kids as an excuse.

I've suggested DH go along but he says that's not a fun thing to do for his birthday.

What would you do? It goes against my instincts to go on the trip, but equally I am worried about the boat myself as I don't want to be sick and embarrass myself!

Can't you change the boat trip to another day? I wouldn't go on boat..I'd try as best to get the antibiotics ASAP...when you have an ear infection your balance can be off so wouldn't fancy a boat trip.

Try to rearrange the boat trip for another day (& take some anti-motion sickness tablets to keep your breakfast down!)

You should have got sea sickness tablets.

I agree with your DH. You're making excuses. Pick up the ABs when you get back and get some sunglasses for the other one if he wants some to cover his eye until it heals.

I have got sea sickness tablets!

Can't change the boat as fully booked for the rest of the week.

What do the kids want to do? Tbh I think you are making it about you!

I think it depends how the kids are actually feeling and if they’re up to going on the boat. If they’re still feeling okay just power through and have a chilled day tomorrow.

The children should stay home with you but DH should go on the trip.

I would ask the DC what they want to do I think. If its breezy/windy on the boat it could make the ear infection feel so much worse.

Have you got any childrens piriton with you? I always end up taking antihistamines when I get mosquito bites.

I would be pushing this back on him and telling him to make the decision re the children and ask him when and how he will be getting the antibiotics.

Are the children still wanting to go (not under pressure from DH)? Why doesn't he just take the children if you get sea sick? Who books a trip knowing one person will hate/feel ill?

(Assuming DS2 has had it before and he's not allergic and it doesn't make him drowsy, both of those would be terrible on a boat!)

I can see why your DH might be saying that, as he’s been keen to go and you’re more reluctant. But I think that’s colouring his response and he’s maybe more in denial about the kids’ fitness for the activity today. I obv can’t tell how your kids are in themselves from the description, but if either of ours had an ear infection needing antibiotics they wouldn’t be up for swimming. Is the sore eye kid ok to swim? If they would still enjoy the day I’d go, but if they’d be unable to join in too, I’m with you. Basically talk to your DH about them. Are they able to enjoy it? And be v v sympathetic to him - he’s been dead keen on birthday treat fun day and it can take a bit of time to come round to realising something can’t happen (I was in similar denial for about an hour when one of ours woke up with vomiting bug the morning of much planned outing I was dead keen on, on holiday).

We have been giving antihistamines for 24 hours.

Will power through today, and I've got a doc appointment tonight for eye bite DS

Surely no one should be swimming with an ear infection?
If the one with the swollen eye wants to go DH take them whilst you stay home with the other

I think you're being perfectly reasonable.

Kiddo with an ear infection won't be able to swim or snorkel, and with a swollen eye neither of those will be fun for the other, either – which means your DH will be having a not-so-great time anyway, dealing with the disappointment of both of them having to stay out of the water at said hidden beaches and swim spots.

I wouldn't want to have a birthday where everyone I loved was feeling under the weather or not happy – surely there are other things you can all do to celebrate his birthday in a way where everyone's on the best form they can be on?

Sounds like it's all about you tbh, kids are an excuse. Take some kwells.

The kids don't sound well enough to go on the trip, I get that your DH is disappointed but it's not your fault.

I wouldn't take children with an ear infection needing antibiotics on a boat trip or a child with a swollen eye as they can escalate quickly. Am surprised at the responses saying you are making this about you as I'd assumed most people would stay close to base with unwell children

@Witsend101 totally. Aaaaaand... this is AIBU, so I'm less surprised.

Some threads on here seem to be a pressure valve for a lot of posters' repressed spite.

Well you’re a nicer person than me because I wouldn’t have agreed to a boat trip in the first place! I also get very sea sick so a day on a boat would be miserable, throw in poorly kids too and that sounds like a recipe for a crap day out.

nothing wrong with making it about you on this occasion either.

Amazed at the posters telling you YABU. Your kids don’t sound in any fit state for that sort of boat trip. BTW for future reference I have been on one of those little boat trips in the uk - bird and wildlife spotting - and it was fine, if you are in the Med it should be fine. I ‘m not a strong swimmer either.

I would probably send DH with the mosquito bite kid and keep the ear infection kid behind. Ear infections can suddenly get worse and very painful, it would be horrible for everyone if that happens when you are far away from comforts. If you antihistamine tablets you can mash it up and make a paste with water and put it on the bite too. That sometimes calms it down.

Either way, being a parent means sometimes things don’t go to plan and you have to make sacrifices, even if it’s your birthday.

If the DC really aren’t well enough then you shouldn’t go.
If one of the DC is feeling poorly with the ear infection and the other can’t open their eye more than 30% that would be enough for me not to go on a boat trip.
If they are both their normal selves then I would go (some DC aren’t so impacted by injury/unwellness).

I assume as it is for 10 and booked up 6 others are on it as well?

if so I can’t believe those that think you should take a child with an ear infection and a swollen eye plus someone who could be seasick on a trip as it frankly sounds as if it could ruin it for others

Sounds like a terrible idea. You can’t just go back if either of the children take a turn.

also, why did you agree to go on a boat trip if you get so sea sick? I know I get terrible motion sickness and I end up crying every time I get on a small boat (but I’m fine kayaking and on large ferries)

your dh sounds awful

The mosquito bite is neither here nor there. DS6 isn’t unwell, he’s just got a puffy eye. Obvious solution is that your DH goes on the trip with DS6 while you stay at your accommodation and chill for the day with DS4, who is a bit unwell.

(You should never have agreed to a boat trip if you’re seasick; you should have just suggested DH booked it for him and the kids while you stayed behind.)