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AIBU?

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For not letting my dd hang out with bad influence

7 replies

littlecuteotter · 05/08/2024 07:29

My 12 year old daughter has moved schools for year 7. There is a 13-year-old in her class that I am quite concerned about. My daughter has autism and is pretty immature for her age, so she is the type to be easily swayed by others. We also live in an asian country so parents are generally stricter.

I have seen the girl talk back to teachers in more than one occasion in online meetings, posts depressing, mature things on social media, swears, and is generally a bad influence.

I have banned my 12 yo from talking to her due to the reasons I listed above, and tried to make her unfollow her on social media. My 12yo is adamant not to unfollow said girl and this led to an argument. I refused to let her stay behind in the library to "study" with this girl, like what if they didn't end up actually in the library at all?

However, my daughter told me that the girl has been including her in her friend's group and is helping her settle in. SHe said she made her feel safe in the new environment and is encouraging. The even bigger problem is that my 12 year old kind of idolizes that particular girl, which is really problematic.

OP posts:
littlecuteotter · 05/08/2024 07:46

bump i don't want to ruin my relationship with my dd

OP posts:
Girasoli · 05/08/2024 07:59

That is tricky, could you get DD to invite the girl to come to yours to study instead. Then at least you'll know what they are getting up to.

You could also sign DD up to some clubs out of school so she can make more friends?

MiseryIn · 05/08/2024 07:59

You are being way too controlling.

There will be many "unsuitable" friends in her future. This girl sounds pretty tame to me.

littlecuteotter · 05/08/2024 10:49

Girasoli · 05/08/2024 07:59

That is tricky, could you get DD to invite the girl to come to yours to study instead. Then at least you'll know what they are getting up to.

You could also sign DD up to some clubs out of school so she can make more friends?

dd does french outside of school so she has friends there but she really wants to be friends with the girl at school

OP posts:
littlecuteotter · 05/08/2024 10:50

MiseryIn · 05/08/2024 07:59

You are being way too controlling.

There will be many "unsuitable" friends in her future. This girl sounds pretty tame to me.

she seems rebellious to me and she self harms and post that on social media

OP posts:
treedwell · 05/08/2024 10:52

Banning her from talking to her, is so over the top and will just make it more likely she will talk to her. Don’t ban her, just help her spot things she shouldn’t do, that she doesn’t have to do what they do etc

Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 05/08/2024 10:58

My 12 year old dd has abfriend that l don't like - she is rude, stroppy and lots of other little bits. But l always make her feel welcome in our house . DD knows l am not a fan of this girl and she understands why but l would rather they were in my house where l can hear and see what is going on.

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