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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I can be happy living separate lives (ish)

2 replies

Temporarynamechange102 · 04/08/2024 16:52

Name changed to stay anon.

I have come to the conclusion that perhaps I can be happy in a marriage with a man that drives me nuts. I'm not that old, I'm also not that interested in being with any other bloke that will no doubt drive me nuts.

After 4 kids, sex is not regular- but I don't really care right now. Date nights are impossible too due to kids ages and no help. Lives are quite separate in terms of friends etc but we do a lot of family stuff at the weekend.

But the crux of it is- my husband is a great dad
He can be a caring partner. Does nice things for me occasionally. Doesn't guilt me over the annoying things I might do eg) spending too much money, not doing housework that I said I'd do.... But he is also, hugely, self-centred and immature.

If we go out to a party/ pub or it's my birthday for instance (very rare right now) I won't see him for dust- he will be propping up the bar doing shots with the "lads". I used to find this abandoning but now I have started to give less shits. He goes to the gym most nights. He has very little responsibility for the mental load. He can't stop talking about himself.

This is a serious question- I have stability, access to money if I want it, holidays, a nice house.

Seems to me that living seperate(ish) lives could be a solution? Anyone else have a similar relationship and feel happy?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 04/08/2024 21:26

I am living separately in the same house, but I’m not happy.

Temporarynamechange102 · 04/08/2024 21:42

Sorry to hear that! I had felt like that some time ago but things actually improved. We are very independent in many ways but also united in other ways. I'm not one for wanting someone in my space much....so that helps- I hope you find happiness!

OP posts:
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