Fun Dad, boring Mum?

[Isitmeyourecookingfor]

Share custody 50/50 with ex, half week each and then every other weekend. DS is 13 and DD is 10.
I'm finding it increasingly difficult to deal with ex's parenting choices. We don't speak at all- my choice as there is a history of emotional abuse and gaslighting, the reason we separated. We only whatsapp.
I still deal with almost all of the the admin of the kids- dentist appointments, any medical appointments, parents evenings, uniform and clothes shopping and I guess I'm happy with that because I feel he would not tell me details of any appointments the kids have.
I don't really ask specifics about what they have done with there dad but, for example, I'll say let's have pizza for tea and they will say, we had Domino's on Monday and Tuesday already.
OK, I can't control that- fine.
But I also hear quite often- we went to bed at midnight- this is on a school night which then has an impact of their day and time with. 2 weeks before end of school year, they out until 11pm on the Thursday, midnight the Friday and Saturday and then back to me exhausted on the Sunday. After school on Monday DS fell asleep at 6.30pm.,slept for 13 hours and missed school on Tuesday because he was so tired.
I worked a night shift last night and my DD whatsapped me at 1.30am!
I can't do anything I know but it's really.upsetting me that he is Fun dad and I am boring mum!

It's a tale as old as time

But it's bloody annoying and unfair!!! He earns way more than me and buys them whatever they want whenever they want. I can't even sleep after my nightshift because I'm so wound up! Grrrrrr

If it's any consolation fun dad is also usually unreliable, moody selfish. My exh could be fun and certainly set up the narrative that I was boring. Now they are adults we are still very close and see each other all the time. They see their dad every couple months and he's not really involved in their life.

Thanks. It just maddens me, but probably maddens me because I cannot speak to him about it as he will twist everything I say. Dd was at a sleepover last night at her friend's I just found out, which I would have liked to have known.