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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How does your partner react when things go wrong?

26 replies

MrsSherman · 04/08/2024 08:45

My DH struggles to cope when things don’t go to plan or something unexpected/annoying happens and I’m bearing the brunt of it. It’s exhausting.

we have 2 DS (3&5) who are very lively children. If something happens like a child has drawn on the wall or jumped on the bed and broken it - it’s my fault. I get “why would you let them do that”.

they know they aren’t allowed to do these things… they’ve done it when the opportunity arises I have t said “yes darling draw all over the wall”.

I have tried to explain that I still find it an inconvenience and annoying. I’d also rather it hadn’t happened and I didn’t have something else to sort out, but that’s family life imo.

he doesn’t see it that way - I haven’t supervised them properly or I’ve let them run riot etc…

I genuinely do t know what more I can do.

I don’t want to go full helicopter- I’d never get anything done and they need to learn independence. And they already get A LOT of attention from us. They behave beautifully in public and are generally good at listening to us. I don’t just abandon them and I explain “I’m going to trust you to play in the living room nicely while I cook tea” etc. but kids are kids and explore and do stupid stuff on occasion.

OP posts:
zingally · 04/08/2024 10:06

If it's something to do with the house, he panics and gets quite loud and obnoxious. HOWEVER, he has diagnosed ADHD, which he takes medication for.

That being said, he's a trained social worker who works in adult social care. So when something goes wrong with a person, he's an absolute winner and goes into "work mode". Years ago, our then 4YO DS pulled a hot tea off the side and burnt himself quite badly (he'd wanted to see "Daddy's new mug" which he'd got him for fathers day and had a dinosaur on it). I was freaking out and it was DH who got straight into a cold shower with our child and called an ambulance.

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