I have a friend who has previously admitted she and her husband are proud of their meanness (with money). They are wealthy but she grew up in relative poverty and I have excused her behaviour in the past because of this. Eg previous birthday gifts to me have included a used candle, opened body lotion etc she recently arranged a night out for my (round number) birthday (our group of friends have all marked significant birthdays over past 30+ years with a joint gift and dinner for the birthday girl). After my birthday she phoned to say the night out had proven more expensive than she thought and therefore I owed her ££ back for part of my gift. I was so taken aback and paid the money. My husband, who had recently helped them out with house repairs for free (happily), was so astounded he was convinced it was a wind-up. I couldn’t bear to tell our other friends what had happened for weeks and when I did they were horrified and said the usual routine had happened and they had all contributed equally and no money was owed and certainly not by me. Despite decades of friendship I have decided I can’t be friends any more but it’s a stressful decision. AIBU