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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Just really struggling with life at the moment

2 replies

hellopossums46 · 03/08/2024 11:03

Sorry if this is just an endless rant. Any advice appreciated.

I have a toddler and a tween. Different dads. The age gap is so hard especially during the holidays. Always feel like I'm failing one of them. The toddler doesn't sleep well and we have no help at all so dh and I are constantly tired and stressed. Eldest does see their dad often so that gives us some respite but no breaks whatsoever with youngest.

Dh is a good man. Helps in the house and with the kids but he can also be moody and lacks enthusiasm to do anything in the way of days out/holidays etc.

Our house is haemorrhaging money. We bought it as a semi Reno without fully realising the extent that needed doing. We have spent so much and I've massively fallen out of love with it.

I have lost touch with a lot of friends because of the family demands. My mum has a lot of mental health issues and feels like another child I have to try and look after but she doesn't do anything to help herself (refuses to see a doctor and just drinks her problems away).

I am exhausted, fat, unhealthy and feel like life has no enjoyment. Everyday is the same routine, the same stress, the same drudgery.

OP posts:
SkaneTos · 03/08/2024 11:06

Sounds tough!

Can you get a day for yourself, when your older child is with their father, and your husband can take care of the toddler?

Meet up with a friend, or do some activity that you really want to do. Or just rest.

Sunnydiary · 03/08/2024 11:13

Take a huge step back from dealing with your mother. You don’t have capacity for this right now, and it sounds like anything you do to try and support her will be a waste of time anyway.

Healthwise, I am assuming you know what to do, eat less and move more, but it might be worth getting a proper check up from GP to make sure no underlying issues.

Reconnect with at least one friend. I’m not sure why you have lost touch with everyone but hopefully you can rectify that.

The house situation is difficult. You need to sit down with DH and make a realistic plan of what needs to be done, in what order, and how much it will cost. If the maths isn’t working, can you cut your losses and sell?

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