Sorry if this is just an endless rant. Any advice appreciated.
I have a toddler and a tween. Different dads. The age gap is so hard especially during the holidays. Always feel like I'm failing one of them. The toddler doesn't sleep well and we have no help at all so dh and I are constantly tired and stressed. Eldest does see their dad often so that gives us some respite but no breaks whatsoever with youngest.
Dh is a good man. Helps in the house and with the kids but he can also be moody and lacks enthusiasm to do anything in the way of days out/holidays etc.
Our house is haemorrhaging money. We bought it as a semi Reno without fully realising the extent that needed doing. We have spent so much and I've massively fallen out of love with it.
I have lost touch with a lot of friends because of the family demands. My mum has a lot of mental health issues and feels like another child I have to try and look after but she doesn't do anything to help herself (refuses to see a doctor and just drinks her problems away).
I am exhausted, fat, unhealthy and feel like life has no enjoyment. Everyday is the same routine, the same stress, the same drudgery.