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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you find this weird/report it? Worker at petrol station

43 replies

User300719 · 03/08/2024 02:19

I went to the petrol station today. Supermarket one. The cashier was stood outside for a while just looking and he could see into my car. Thought it was a bit odd but he went back inside, I just started filling up the car. When I got back in the car, My DD who is 5 said why did that man keep doing that? I said doing what and she was blowing kisses and said he kept doing it at her through the window from where he was sat. Would you find this weird?

OP posts:
westcountrywoman · 03/08/2024 07:21

No I wouldn't report. For a 5 year old, it sounds like he was just trying to entertain her. If your DD was 10 / 12 / 14 it would be a bit weird but lots of people do silly gestures to really little kids to make them smile etc.

notagdfriend · 03/08/2024 07:27

So was your dd blowing kisses so he did it back?

It's not totally weird he may have children/sibling's he does stuff like that with so instinctively did it back. But it is borderline inappropriate.

But I would maybe start the stranger conversation (in a appropriate way)

ShanequaAndWhat · 03/08/2024 07:53

Blowing kisses is inappropriate and anyone with half a brain cell would know that. There are other actions that can be done to appropriately entertain a kid in a car if you felt so inclined. Removing your thumb for example... classic at any age!

leafybrew · 03/08/2024 07:53

Jeepers - I've seen it all now. It's 'inappropriate' blowing a kiss to a 5 year old? Is it inappropriate to wave or smile at a small child?

Why not just ignore everyone and everything, and then you won't be in danger of being inappropriate.

What a miserable world we live in.

ShanequaAndWhat · 03/08/2024 07:54

Repeatedly blowing them too...

leafybrew · 03/08/2024 07:54

And yes - I think I have half a brain.

leafybrew · 03/08/2024 07:55

ShanequaAndWhat · 03/08/2024 07:54

Repeatedly blowing them too...

Oh My!!

Call the police

Pottedpalm · 03/08/2024 07:56

greentreesblueskies · 03/08/2024 07:03

Thanks, no stick up my arse! The mid-twenties guy was off insisting that these smiling nervous children answer him about crisps or chocolate; where they were going to eat it, what was their name, what they were doing today. They rightly, as did I, have spider senses raised. l so I ushered them behind me, said thanks paid and left.

Usually I would be all 'say hello to the nice man' but if a stranger makes you feel 'off' then fuck that.

It was weird enough to have stayed with me and came back to me reading this post.

But thanks for your awesome comment!

He had probably been
told to speak to customers and this was his way of interacting with children. Ushering them behind you is a rather extreme reaction.

Crystallizedring · 03/08/2024 09:02

leafybrew · 03/08/2024 07:53

Jeepers - I've seen it all now. It's 'inappropriate' blowing a kiss to a 5 year old? Is it inappropriate to wave or smile at a small child?

Why not just ignore everyone and everything, and then you won't be in danger of being inappropriate.

What a miserable world we live in.

Come off it. Waving and smiling is not the same as blowing kisses. I've been a parent for 18 years and in that time no random person has ever blown kisses at my children. If they had I would have had to ask why they thought it was okay.
As I said I wouldn't report it but would find it so weird and probably avoid buying petrol there.

wheresthebigcarrot · 03/08/2024 09:35

Definitely report. In fact, call 999.

My dad was waving at a small child in the park once, because the small child was waving at him. The mother said loudly "don't wave at the pedo".

He was devastated. He was being friendly. It's a sad state of affairs when someone can't interact with a kid.

Original poster
User300719 · 03/08/2024 14:34

summerdazey · 03/08/2024 07:18

Next time use pay at pump and don't leave your 5 year old in the car unattended

I did pay at the pump. Obviously I was turned away from the car/DD whilst filling up. She was sat inside and he could see into my car from where he was sat. She said he was looking and kept doing it and was asking me why

OP posts:
HollyKnight · 04/08/2024 01:16

Your story doesn't make any sense. You said he was standing outside, now you're saying he was sitting down outside. You said he went back inside then you started filling up your car, but now you're saying he was sitting there while you were filling up.

KreedKafer · 04/08/2024 01:19

Lovingsummers · 03/08/2024 03:28

He probably just was trying to entertain your child. I wouldn't think more about it.

Agreed. It’s a non-issue.

Firefly1987 · 04/08/2024 01:25

And just the other day people were wondering why no one stopped to find out why that little girl was walking down the road alone and if she needed any help.

Noodlehen · 04/08/2024 01:50

Are you sure he was blowing kisses and not doing “peek a boo”?

pikkumyy77 · 04/08/2024 02:58

Proto grandma here. I blow kisses to little kids all the time.

FictionalCharacter · 04/08/2024 03:29

greentreesblueskies · 03/08/2024 07:03

Thanks, no stick up my arse! The mid-twenties guy was off insisting that these smiling nervous children answer him about crisps or chocolate; where they were going to eat it, what was their name, what they were doing today. They rightly, as did I, have spider senses raised. l so I ushered them behind me, said thanks paid and left.

Usually I would be all 'say hello to the nice man' but if a stranger makes you feel 'off' then fuck that.

It was weird enough to have stayed with me and came back to me reading this post.

But thanks for your awesome comment!

I agree with you.
Some people here are either being disingenuous or genuinely don’t understand that this man wasn’t just being friendly in a normal way. He was being insistent and people should know that this isn’t ok - if you try to talk to children and they don’t want you to, you let it drop. You don’t carry on trying to engage them for your own entertainment. You also said he was talking in loud baby talk. It isn’t ok to impose any of that on children. And not allowing people to draw you into a conversation you don’t want isn’t rude.

We really, really shouldn’t be teaching kids to smile and nod and go along with what someone wants when they’re making us feel uncomfortable. Look what happens when people get to adulthood feeling they have to do that. We end up with people pleasers who can’t stand up for themselves or their families, the ones all over MN nervously asking “AIBU?” for not wanting to be treated horribly by others, and who haven’t a clue how not to be a doormat.

greentreesblueskies · 04/08/2024 21:36

@FictionalCharacter my god, thank you. I couldn't believe the responses I got to my post. Thank you for putting it far more eloquently than I could.

And to the others, yes, I am proud of not forcing my children to go against their instincts!

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