To ask how your extended family get on?

[pingpongding]

My family don't get on. We're a lost cause to be frank. Step siblings and half siblings squabbling as well as fractious relationships between the core family members. It's relentless.

I look around and most other people seem evenly split between messy dynamics or harmonious set up. I do wonder if we're weird or typical.

What's your family like? Do you get on or simmering resentments?

I get on well with my sister, and I don't argue with my brother but we have nothing in common so don't really see each other unless we are both at my dad's.

DH can't stand his brother, finds him extremely annoying but fortunately he lives far enough away for it not to be a problem. He is polite to him a couple of times a year when he has to see him. No dramas though.

I think half the problems come from forcing yourself (or being pressured to by others) to spend time with people you wouldn't generally choose to - if you keep some distance it's easier to avoid conflict.

We get on well, just got back from a holiday with my sister and cousin, the " extended family" ( aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, cousins once removed etc, ) meet up on a regular if infrequent basis and we all pick up where we left off,
My sons, on the other hand, have nothing in common😔

My core family are all happy with each other. So myself, sibling, our children and our parents.

But I had 8 cousins and their parents I regularly saw growing up who I never see now.
We don't fall out because we're estranged from one another via various family rifts (for instance my uncle fleeced his mum -my gran- when she was dying and I don't want anything to do with him) I find it very sad, but there's no drama because there's no relationship anymore.

The only one of my siblings who sees the aunts & cousins is my sister, who doesn't speak to me! I'm quite close to one of my brothers, but we don't meet or even speak often - roughly every three months. His wife isn't very interested in us. Relations with the other siblings are good but not at all deep.

As young adults, we used to think we were all very close. Then we realised we weren't!

I don't see any of my family as I'm the one who bought up the neglect and abuse and they won't hear any of it ( they do denial and victim v well ) . I've had to walk away from the chaos to heal and had lots of therapy .

Leaving stops the abuse ( predominantly my mum who thinks I deserve nothing ) . It's still sad as I effectively have no family but I now lead a life where I have relationships that are much more healthy and where I'm cared about x

Thank you for the insights. It's oddly comforting to know others deal with this too.

Family is so complicated at times. Interesting in this thread that it seems to be a mix too.