Feel helpless

[Shadowfairy]

I don’t know how to help my friend. I suspect I can’t help other than to just be there.

A brother conspired with his wife and other siblings to make sure that their dad’s final wishes were not kept. They lied saying the will his dad had made had not been signed due to a witness problem. He further lied about what their dad had wanted in the will.
He applied to be the executor and my friend trusting him fully supported him. My friend - I think due to confusion/memory loss caused by grief initially agreed that what the brother said was true about wishes having completely forgotten what their dad told them.

My friend would have liked the car even tho it is not as good as the car they do have as it would have helped them feel close to their dad.

Grief clearly destroys short term memory. And sadly - does not always bring the best out in people otherwise families would not be so nasty to one another.

My friend seems to be dealing with it all stoically. Pointing out nothing can be done. I’m just so livid on their behalf.

I don’t think siblings should be allowed to claim role as executor when no will has been written, or even if one has been written. Maybe it should always have to be a neutral person. Although I’ve no idea how that would work. Also maybe when you get to a certain age a will writing kit should be sent out that must be returned to a government department. I think I
am rambling now. I just wish I could help but I can’t. I know they seem ok, I just would be livid so many projecting a bit!

Friends are the best family members. Actual family (for some at least) suck!

It's strange that you are so invested in this when your friend has come to terms with the situation. Of course it shouldn't be set out in law that family members can't be executors, or that people should be forced to make wills. Unless you were there you don't know what was said and your friend might have just wanted a moan, knowing that the outcome was partly their fault.

Invested? Concerned about a friend yes. I realise in this me me me society that may be hard to comprehend but empathy is a real thing and a strong motivator. Moan? It’s me who is having the moan! I’m having the moan as I am seeing a good person treated in an awful manner. I’m moaning because I can well imagine many people are going through something like this and it is wrong. I actually think it is criminal. Definitely morally wrong to ignore a dying man’s wishes. My friend was not moaning at all - was very matter of fact what can I do? Fuck all was the attitude. Nonmoaning - more a dark humour about it. Was telling me about it because I asked how things were going with the family - if promises to keep in contact etc were kept. I on the other hand hate when people act all superior as they shit on another and disrespect someone they claim to have loved and wish to honour. I met them. Nasty bunch.

How could a brother refusing to follow his dying fathers wishes be the fault of my friend? He was there, he wrote the will for his dad. He knew what his dad wanted. Ignoring is all on him.

Are you one of the siblings 👀

Ya know what? I am invested. Not just this case but of other similar ones I’ve heard about. It’s something that seems to happen a lot.

I’d hate the thought of my children ignoring my clear wishes. I don’t care their excuse. They better honour my wishes or I will haunt them! I have told them this. 😂

Force? I didn’t say force I said kits should be sent out. Might encourage people to write a will and stop things like this happening. And if a return address of a central holding something or other then liers and fraudsters won’t get away with ripping up wills and claiming there wasn’t one - have heard of this happening quite a lot. Bit different when you know someone’s happened to.

I do think a neutral person should be an executor. Looking around on this subject some nasty stuff gets done by beneficiaries who are due to inherent but are executor’s. Also seems a very important, complicated and stressful thing to be. I’ve made clear so do not want this dubious ’honor’