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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours using our drive as their path

158 replies

Peedoff24 · 02/08/2024 19:19

We live in adjoining terraces, both with driveways. All other houses in our terrace have walls or hedges between them. We don’t but there is a decorative border type thing to delineate them. So it’s very obvious when you step off their property into ours.

They fit 2 cars onto their driveway but this is only possible because we don’t have a wall. They need to open their car door across our drive to be able to get in and out. This I don’t mind.

However, because it’s a squeeze to get between their cars they and their visitors, deliveries etc use our drive as a pathway to get to their front door. It’s got to the point that people literally step out of their door, step over the decorative stone thingy and then walk across our drive to the street.

We have a ring doorbell so get alerted every time somebody does this. It’s now got to the point that our drive is used as their pathway even when they only have one car parked and therefore plenty of space on their drive.

These are neighbours that don’t acknowledge my presence if we see each other since I complained when they had builders dumping rubbish on part of our garden.

WIBU and petty to go and buy some trellis and put it up to stop them from doing this? It would also mean they’d have to rethink their parking!

OP posts:
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RandomMess · 03/08/2024 16:27

Sounds like they would have to park their passenger doors next to each other to give the drivers more room to get out.

Not your problem to solve!

You could fence not all the way down to the drive toward the road so they could open their driver door over your drive still but if they then walked up your drive they couldn't get to their door.

BigAnne · 03/08/2024 16:32

@Peedoff24 Rose bushes.

YellowDots · 03/08/2024 16:34

I didn’t say ordinary garden centre type planters. I described tall, wide, heavy ones a quick search brings up a wide variety probably costing the same as strong fences.

She's already said she doesn't want planters. Tall wide heavy planters sound awful.

Waaaaaahh · 03/08/2024 16:37

Whistleblowing · 03/08/2024 16:19

I didn’t say ordinary garden centre type planters. I described tall, wide, heavy ones a quick search brings up a wide variety probably costing the same as strong fences.

I don’t see why tall wide heavy planters are better than a fence on the grounds that a fence might get broken.

Whistleblowing · 03/08/2024 16:45

Okay seems that whatever is used is likely to be temporary then as I have seen fences broken by inconsiderate neighbours or maybe neighbours who choose to bash bins or doors against the fence that they don’t own. So I thought tall, wide haavy planters might be better.

JC03745 · 03/08/2024 16:52

Once we put something up that’s going to make it very tricky for them to park two cars.

That is THEIR problem and not yours. They could park 1 car on the street, park their cars one slightly further forward than the other or 1 facing forwards and 1 backwards etc. Again, its THEIR issue to sort out.

I'd suggest a subtle fence like these ! 😆

Neighbours using our drive as their path
Neighbours using our drive as their path
HappiestSleeping · 03/08/2024 17:03

Peedoff24 · 03/08/2024 15:55

We could use planters but that would make our own space tight. Getting to the steps to our front door. A fence would be better. We’ve had a look today at what we could do to fence both sides so it doesn’t look like we are purposefully being difficult.

Once we put something up that’s going to make it very tricky for them to park two cars.

One might have been more sympathetic if they hadn't decided to use your drive as a footpath for general access. As it is, it's their own problem to solve, not yours.

WiddlinDiddlin · 03/08/2024 17:25

I'd do both sides and if you can afford it, any other general 'tarting up the front of the house' work so its far less obviously all about them and their irritating behaviour.

Even (if you have the acting skills necessary) knock on and warn them in advance...

'Just to let you know, we've finally saved enough to tidy up the front so we'll be doing some work outside for a few days, blah blah and installing the fence'...

So again... its NOT about them... you're NOT a mean neighbour, in fact you're LOVELY and polite and giving them advanced notice of work...

Etc etc. head tilt. irritating smile

seethingmess · 03/08/2024 18:01

Continuing the short wall between the houses seems like the most permanent solution. It's not your issue if they've bought a house with a drive that doesn't fit two cars. It's not up to you to provide extra space for them as overflow.

justpeachy1234 · 03/08/2024 18:36

@Bargainacious

Actually the complete opposite, we are great neighbours. We are quiet and considerate. We just don't have a huge drive 🤷🏻‍♀️ we try and keep our children safe by not parking on a busy road. I wish I could afford a massive house with a huge drive, but I can't.

We cut down some trees blocking their light! Is that good enough for you??

I would really consider how much you want to war with your neighbours OP. It's fine for all you keyboard warriors, but OP will be left with a very frosty situation. There are plenty of things neighbours can reasonably do that will destroy the enjoyment of your home. Are you willing to see what the consequences are?

Peedoff24 · 03/08/2024 19:11

I’m not worried that my neighbours will knock a fence down. They are inconsiderate but not the type to wilfully damage our property.

OP posts:
ChockysChimichanga · 03/08/2024 21:19

justpeachy1234 · 03/08/2024 18:36

@Bargainacious

Actually the complete opposite, we are great neighbours. We are quiet and considerate. We just don't have a huge drive 🤷🏻‍♀️ we try and keep our children safe by not parking on a busy road. I wish I could afford a massive house with a huge drive, but I can't.

We cut down some trees blocking their light! Is that good enough for you??

I would really consider how much you want to war with your neighbours OP. It's fine for all you keyboard warriors, but OP will be left with a very frosty situation. There are plenty of things neighbours can reasonably do that will destroy the enjoyment of your home. Are you willing to see what the consequences are?

Using the fact you have children to justify something - check.

Passive-aggressively pointing out you can’t afford something due to your lifestyle choices - check.

Making a big deal about a sacrifice you’ve made for your neighbours without providing any context - check.

Making a veiled threat if neighbours choose to stop you taking the piss - check.

Plmnki · 03/08/2024 21:35

Fence, fence, fence, fence, fence, fence.

did I mention that a fence would stop this?

def consider a fence.

OhIdoliketobebesidetheseaside32 · 03/08/2024 21:52

Peedoff24 · 02/08/2024 23:10

Terrible diagram attached.

Yep! That would piss me off too!

Goldcushions2 · 03/08/2024 21:55

WiddlinDiddlin · 03/08/2024 17:25

I'd do both sides and if you can afford it, any other general 'tarting up the front of the house' work so its far less obviously all about them and their irritating behaviour.

Even (if you have the acting skills necessary) knock on and warn them in advance...

'Just to let you know, we've finally saved enough to tidy up the front so we'll be doing some work outside for a few days, blah blah and installing the fence'...

So again... its NOT about them... you're NOT a mean neighbour, in fact you're LOVELY and polite and giving them advanced notice of work...

Etc etc. head tilt. irritating smile

This.
Do as much as you can to look like a big job.
They are cheeky fxxkers.
You do not owe them air space.

CosmicDaisyChain · 03/08/2024 21:57

The fact they have already infringed your property and continue doing so without acknowledging you would be more than enough for me. I wouldn't hesitate to put a fence or wall there. I would not care how petty they thought it was.

EmpressaurusDeiGatti · 04/08/2024 07:44

justpeachy1234 · 03/08/2024 18:36

@Bargainacious

Actually the complete opposite, we are great neighbours. We are quiet and considerate. We just don't have a huge drive 🤷🏻‍♀️ we try and keep our children safe by not parking on a busy road. I wish I could afford a massive house with a huge drive, but I can't.

We cut down some trees blocking their light! Is that good enough for you??

I would really consider how much you want to war with your neighbours OP. It's fine for all you keyboard warriors, but OP will be left with a very frosty situation. There are plenty of things neighbours can reasonably do that will destroy the enjoyment of your home. Are you willing to see what the consequences are?

What would you do if your neighbours told you that your visitors / delivery drivers were using their drive, and asked you to stop that happening?

justpeachy1234 · 04/08/2024 11:09

@EmpressaurusDeiGatti

Obviously I can't control delivery drivers. But very often if Amazon/ the postman are delivering to us, they are also delivering to our neighbour at the same time...

Our guest would walk on our drive. It would be very rare that anyone walks across theirs. If our kids run across, I always tell them not to.

I will add that our neighbours do actually walk across our drive sometimes too. And they have had workmen straddling our boundary etc. Obviously I don't care, but there is always 2 sides to every story. I'm sure OP isn't the person neighbour.

If/ when our neighbours add a fence just to be petty, they will definitely get petty behaviour back. Let's hope OP never needs anything from their neighbours. Consideration and kindness work 2 ways

Noshowlomo · 04/08/2024 11:12

@justpeachy1234 how is it being petty to have clear boundaries on your own land? Is every fence or hedge or wall someone being petty?

PotatoPie111 · 04/08/2024 11:19

It does remind of when we moved into our house. Our drives aren’t large and can only fit a small car on it, which was all we had.
When we moved in our neighbour approached us to remove the fence between us on the drive so they could fit their massive car on (and we wouldn’t then) and it would give more room for their grandkids to play (both have big gardens).
we said no and they were pissed for years about it.

EmpressaurusDeiGatti · 04/08/2024 11:20

justpeachy1234 · 04/08/2024 11:09

@EmpressaurusDeiGatti

Obviously I can't control delivery drivers. But very often if Amazon/ the postman are delivering to us, they are also delivering to our neighbour at the same time...

Our guest would walk on our drive. It would be very rare that anyone walks across theirs. If our kids run across, I always tell them not to.

I will add that our neighbours do actually walk across our drive sometimes too. And they have had workmen straddling our boundary etc. Obviously I don't care, but there is always 2 sides to every story. I'm sure OP isn't the person neighbour.

If/ when our neighbours add a fence just to be petty, they will definitely get petty behaviour back. Let's hope OP never needs anything from their neighbours. Consideration and kindness work 2 ways

So it sounds like you’re quite a lot more reasonable than the OP’s neighbours.

YabaJaba · 04/08/2024 11:22

If you want to maintain good neighbours then I'd do nothing. Are they really hurting you by stepping on your land?

LlynTegid · 04/08/2024 11:26

YabaJaba · 04/08/2024 11:22

If you want to maintain good neighbours then I'd do nothing. Are they really hurting you by stepping on your land?

Good neighbours are great to have. Those who bear grudges and act unreasonably is no grounds for being a doormat and accepting their unreasonable behaviour.

Don't fall for that excuse to be walked all over so to speak.

YabaJaba · 04/08/2024 11:26

Why can't they park one car on the road? Is it restricted parking?

Peedoff24 · 04/08/2024 11:39

YabaJaba · 04/08/2024 11:26

Why can't they park one car on the road? Is it restricted parking?

They’d have to buy a permit.

OP posts:
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