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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you for things to do with 12 yr old going on 21

45 replies

ShanequaAndWhat · 02/08/2024 18:58

DD is gracing me with her presence tomorrow.

She is 12 going on 21 and typically uninterested in everything apart from shopping, particularly uninterested in spending time with me.

We live in Northamptonshire but can drive anywhere within reason.

My basic list is;

Waterworld
Alton towers
Bullring shopping
Trafford centre shopping
Milton Keynes shopping
London... shopping
Walk along a canal
Bowling
Cheddar gorge and caves

Only things she is interested in is... you guessed it... shopping.

Any ideas to help me bond and enjoy time with my very favourite person??? Please help me Mumsnet.

OP posts:
Original poster
ShanequaAndWhat · 02/08/2024 20:35

Also that's where it's hard. My budget is back in 2003.

OP posts:
LutonBeds · 02/08/2024 20:41

This is the first time I’ve ever seen/heard someone describe the Trafford Centre as ‘beautiful’. Twice!

Theoldlife · 02/08/2024 20:43

ShanequaAndWhat · 02/08/2024 20:34

Spent £74 doing that last week 😫 I actually think that was the last time she spoke to me without "fire" 😂

Show quote history

I did the hair and nails thing with my ds and nieces today, my purse could have floated home.

SaltAndVinegar2 · 02/08/2024 20:48

ShanequaAndWhat · 02/08/2024 19:54

@Theoldlife that made me chuckle. Yes lots of steps. Finding all the bloody shops! Such a beautiful place tho.

How is Trafford centre a beautiful place? It's a characterless modern shopping mall just like all the others. Are you thinking of somewhere else?

I'd go for a city centre - still shops but a bit more character than a shopping centre, feels more like an experience

Singleandproud · 02/08/2024 21:00

When DD and I spend quality time together it's at a theatre show and nice meal beforehand at the theatre restaurant.

Theatre has been our 'thing' since she was about 2 so I make sure we go at least once a month, buying tickets in advance / being Friends to your local theatre makes it affordable.

Or, DD plans the day and it's her responsibility. She's given 6 hours to fill, a budget and needs to think about food options.

Theoldlife · 02/08/2024 21:07

SaltAndVinegar2 · 02/08/2024 20:48

How is Trafford centre a beautiful place? It's a characterless modern shopping mall just like all the others. Are you thinking of somewhere else?

I'd go for a city centre - still shops but a bit more character than a shopping centre, feels more like an experience

Show quote history

The only advantage of the Trafford centre is it has a (posh Boots) Sephora, which is apparently Very Important.

Original poster
ShanequaAndWhat · 02/08/2024 21:23

LutonBeds · 02/08/2024 20:41

This is the first time I’ve ever seen/heard someone describe the Trafford Centre as ‘beautiful’. Twice!

I went there for the first time recently. It's got arches and fountains and shit. We don't have that here.

OP posts:
Original poster
ShanequaAndWhat · 02/08/2024 21:23

Singleandproud · 02/08/2024 21:00

When DD and I spend quality time together it's at a theatre show and nice meal beforehand at the theatre restaurant.

Theatre has been our 'thing' since she was about 2 so I make sure we go at least once a month, buying tickets in advance / being Friends to your local theatre makes it affordable.

Or, DD plans the day and it's her responsibility. She's given 6 hours to fill, a budget and needs to think about food options.

That's a great shout but I imagine takes some kind of planning and organisation which we don't seem to have.

OP posts:
Original poster
ShanequaAndWhat · 02/08/2024 21:27

It's all off. It's her mates birthday and she has a thing tomorrow. She either forgot or didn't know.

Not going to lie, a bit gutted. Made all the sweeter by her saying she wouldn't go and she was happy when we would book it for another day!

My purse is happy but I'm sad.

OP posts:
TheTigerWhoCameToEatMyArsehole · 02/08/2024 21:31

Just book Alton towers and tell her that's where you are going. She might surprise you and herself and actually enjoy it.

Singleandproud · 02/08/2024 21:45

The Palace Manchester has the new 101 Dalmatians musical, it's a big tour pre West End tickets £13 to £60 all week and plenty left. I find if we go to an evening show then it's more 'grown up' as the theatre is full of adults and older children.

SonicTheHodgeheg · 02/08/2024 21:55

I believe the Primark in Birmingham is the biggest one in the UK.
There’s so Sephora but Selfridges will hit the spot. Milton Keynes has a Harrods Beauty which is good for a beauty lover. Expensive but lots of testers available.

MaltipooMama · 02/08/2024 22:13

@ShanequaAndWhat well if she lives for Primark she will be in heaven! It's bloody huge, got about a million floors in there and also a Disney cafe as well other places to eat inside. Oooh actually I think they've also got a nail bar and hairdressers in there (honestly it's ridiculously huge) so maybe she could do something like that as well, I think they're relatively cheap as well

twohotwaterbottles · 03/08/2024 08:28

I think you've nailed it in here OP. Who doesn't like a train ride? Then primark, Nike (cos they all NEED more Nike pro's) 😂 and Sephora. It's a bit eye roll for us parents I know, but she'll be happy and feel seen. I find giving them a budget focusses their mind a bit and takes the stress out of it as they then have to manage it themselves rather than whine about what they might be able to have. Gotta love an almost teenager 🤣

Original poster
ShanequaAndWhat · 03/08/2024 11:30

It's been a dramatic day. She was reminded of a party last night so I thought I'd be all in my lonesome. This morning, the kid whose party it was cancelled in a huff so we are back on and I think taking a friend so may not be amazing quality time together but at least she will have fun. She's been in the shower 25 mins. 😬

OP posts:
Original poster
ShanequaAndWhat · 03/08/2024 11:31

That's a lie. 35 mins.

OP posts:
MounjaroUser · 03/08/2024 11:47

What's all this about Sephora? I was in the Trafford Centre on the day it opened and there were several hundred people in a queue for it!

SonicTheHodgeheg · 03/08/2024 12:26

MounjaroUser · 03/08/2024 11:47

What's all this about Sephora? I was in the Trafford Centre on the day it opened and there were several hundred people in a queue for it!

They gave away generous goody bags for the first few hundred (?) people (I saw this on social media)

TheSerenePinkOrca · 03/08/2024 12:35

@ShanequaAndWhat How about booking the two of you into a clothes making/how to use a sewing machine session, then you can encourage her to make her own clothes?

Then you can go charity shop trawling and she can use a sewing machine to customise second hand stuff so she has something unique.

(much better for the bank balance and the environment).

My other suggestion would be a high ropes course, or one of those pottery painting sessions, but some of them you can pick up the kit and do it at home, then return the kit and collect a week later once it has been glazed.

Theoldlife · 03/08/2024 14:18

MounjaroUser · 03/08/2024 11:47

What's all this about Sephora? I was in the Trafford Centre on the day it opened and there were several hundred people in a queue for it!

I don’t know, but we queued for 45 minutes to get in (we arrived at opening time 2 weeks after opening day so the queue was quite short)… on entering my ds said “this is the best day of my life”, and my DW said “that’s 45 minutes of my life I’ll never get back just for posh boots?!”- so I guess it depends on your perspective!

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