Would you judge - age?

[mummyat23]

Posting on here in the hope people will be honest.

I don’t know if I’m going to struggle making mum friends as I can see that people are understandably waiting a lot longer these days to have children. My cousin has recently had a baby and said she found herself to be young in groups at 29, so ‘no offence’ but I will probably stick out.

Our baby is due just before I turn 23. I’m newly married to my DH (25), we own our home and both earn decently - by no means mega bucks but we do okay and have respectable careers. Baby planned and we are so excited, but equally understand how life changing it’s going to be!

Do you think my cousin is right?

I'm 32, married and have 4 kids. We had our eldest when I was 21. Yes I am one of the younger mums. But I don't stick out. We are all as shattered as each other! 🤣

One of my daughters had her baby at 23. She was also married etc. She did go to a couple of these groups in the town where she lived and many of the mothers were younger than her. In the town I live in she would've been 15 years younger than most of them.

As she returned to work full time by the time the baby was 4.5 months she didn't really have enough time to worry about it.

You will find your " tribe" I'm sure

Hi! I'm 23 with a 3.5 yo and 17 mo. I was 19 when I had my eldest. I'm very lucky that my 2 friends also have 2-4 children and we&our children are close in age.
Please feel free to reach out to me if you ever need a chat, I know how hard it can be in mum groups :) x

Why do you think that? I was in my 30s when I had my first child, as were many others in the baby groups I went to, no one loved the younger mums, why would they?

It's only natural that in general people tend to gravitate to those who are similar to them, it's not a case of judgement. If the situation was reversed would you judge an older mother?

I had a child at twenty one. I was the youngest at baby group . I felt different but not judged. Most other parents were 28-33.

I had my second child at 37, I was the oldest at baby group again I didn't feel judged just slightly out of touch.

I'm always intrigued by these posts because where i live (Dublin) a 23 year old getting married would be absolutely unheard of. A baby at that age would be assumed an accident and owning any property impossible unless bought by well off parents. In no way would i judge you but i’d be baffled and assume you were extremely religious

In my DS's class, the age of the mums span a wide range of ages - the oldest mum could be the mother of the youngest mum! It really doesn't matter to most people.

My DD is 1 now and I was 26 when she was born. Most mums in the baby groups I went to were late 20s or early 30s. There was 1 or 2 (depending on the class I went to) older mums in their late 30s and they stuck out. They had older children though so a big age gap between eldest and youngest children.

I had my first at 21. Had 3 by the time I was 26. Some people are curious as facially (due to chubbiness) I look younger than my years and definitely plenty of surprise when I moved to a new office, at the beginning of my last pregnancy, that this was number 3 and not number 1.

I am quite sure there was judgement in my office when I was pregnant with my first but I wasn’t privvy to any of it and people were kind, excited and supportive.

My mum had me at 39 and her first at 32; when I brought up being a bit young for a mum, she said that in her day, over 25 was considered and flagged as old for a first time mum! And her mum (who had her at 18) was just her mum.

Perspective wise, women of all ages have done amazing jobs of motherhood throughout human history. I definitely wouldn’t consider 24 eyebrow raisingly young!