Six year old with severe anxiety?

[PeterCapaldiBae]

My DS is six and seems to suffer with anxiety.

He makes me put my hand on his heart multiple times a day to check it's working okay.

If I'm cleaning and using sprays and he notices, he convinces himself he's got some in his mouth and then starts complaining of tummy ache and asking what will happen if you eat this or that.

Everyday constant questions, "what will happen if you eat White spirit? What will happen if you eat paint?" Yes, I've been painting recently! But he's so persistent and doesn't let up.

Every time he gets anything to eat or drink, he asks "Is it still good? Check the date."

Constant questions about Poison and diseases. "Is this thing poisonous?" "Is this animal poisonous?" He's petrified of most animals, caterpillars, rats, spiders, flys - even cows.

He worries that caterpillars and spiders are poisonous, rats carry diseases and cows can stomp on you.

We do our best to reassure him and tell him not to worry, etc. But it's heart breaking to think at only six he lives with so many worries and anxieties.

We have to be so careful with what we say because the smallest thing, he'll latch on to.

You know phrases like saying a grumpy face will stay permanent when the wind changes would just cause him genuine anxiety. Even stuff like, "gosh, you've eaten loads - you'll explode!" Would cause him anxiety that would require a ton of reassurance.

I worry for him so much.

He needs help imo.
My teen DD suffers from anxiety and appropriate therapy has given her tools to manage it.
You nay also wish to check out the Inside Out 2 film.

You need to make a list of these things and go to the GP to push for professional help.

in the meantime I would suggest looking at charities like Young Minds and reaching out to them for advice on how best to proceed while waiting for referrals

If the GP refers to CAMHS I would think about going private if you can afford it, because CAMHS is underfunded and overstretched and even parents of self harmers struggle to get help.

Sorry - quite crucial, I meant to say in my OP that he was diagnosed with autism a few months ago. Does this go with the territory, or should I be seeking some help with his anxiety as a separate issue?

Yes it is very relevant.

Try also the Childrens Mental Health board and the SN Chat.

It’s relevant but I would still be seeking advice. My son is autistic and also has anxiety which is medicated. Is he still under the care of any of the professionals involved in diagnosis?

Ask CAMHS for the anxiety course. It is strategies for parents and opportunity to discuss with other parents. I thought it was good. It is hard when they are really young as some of the strategies involve discussing with the child and them wanting to make a change and my autistic DS at 6 incapable of discussing feelings and was happy avoiding the stuff that made him anxious - still worthwhile though and yours might engage with it more

It has been quite a recent diagnosis so I have a follow up appointment with an autism nurse in September but beyond that I believe he's been diagnosed and discharged so to speak.

It's so harrowing. I am medicated for anxiety myself and I'm pretty sure I also have undiagnosed autism too and I basically feel like it's all my fault. I know what it's like and I don't want any of this for him.

Oh op, this is so hard. You could be describing my eldest son, he started pretty much exactly as you describe and at age 6 also, he was eventually diagnosed with OCD.

He is almost 15 now and it is debilitating for him, his main issue is germs and illness. Toileting and showering and washing hands is out of control. From age 6 he wore gloves for a solid 18 months to protect him from germs and when covid hit, it was his worse nightmare come true and everything I said would never happen with germs did and it was devastating. It was a very difficult time.

My boy has had a lot of therapy and has recently started a new course of CBT that we are so hoping offers at least some light relief. It is such a heavy weight on him and in turn the whole family.

My advice looking back now, 8 years into this journey, would be to try and not indulge in the worries (I know how hard that is) and I would try and logically explain what he’s thinking so with the white spirits question, I’d say drinking it would be bad for you but of course it isn’t something you or I would ever do so we wouldn’t suffer any bad effects from it. Explain why you’re using it and what it does. Then I’d offer some ‘exposure’ Would you like to help me with a bit of painting ds? If you could do this patch that’d be so helpful! Maybe even get some paint on your skin and say oh silly me but show him how it isn’t ‘hurting’ you and you won’t become ill from it.

Exposure therapy is a massive part of CBT and trying to combat OCD, my son give through phases of not wanting to touch anything another member of the public has so door handles, gate latch, public toilets etc etc we spent many weeks just getting him to try and start opening the gate to the park again! He eventually did it.

Could you involve him in the shopping/cooking and explain that the best before dates are guidelines on most products, just a breezy discussion and then, please could you help me chop this veg for tea ds, I could use some help, let me show you how I do it and then if you can have a go. Use distraction as much as possible.

I am not saying your son has OCD but this is exactly how my son started and I would hate for this to be the start for you. I could honestly write pages and pages but please give me a shout if you have any questions. Best of luck with it x

Ok, I didn’t want to terrify you with throwing OCD and Autism at you but now I see you have mentioned it yourself, my ds also went on to be diagnosed as Autistic.

Reassuring and saying don't worry don't help and just move him to worry about something else.

For questions like 'what happens if you drink white spirit ' I'd ask if he was planning to drink white spirit as it smells horrible. Same for paint.

He is right that paint is poisonous and rats carry diseases but how is he going drink paint? And has he seen any rats in the house? And then move on to another topic as fast as possible.

Myo inositol may help, it’s a type of sugar that you could sweeten things with for him, it has been successful in trials as a help for OCD.

Woah. Seriously? I'm actually godsmacked. What an awful thing to say.

I'm married, work FT, own my own home. We go on days out, annual holidays. Our life is good.

But my life hasn't been without difficulties. Every day is a struggle for me - mentally. I could say so much on this but this thread is about my DS. Not me.

I had one child and stopped there. I won't have any more. I want to dedicate all my time to DS and helping him.

I didn't know he'd end up with autism and anxiety. I've only come to suspect my own autism since he came along. I thought I was just strange.

Should I really have not had a child because I considered myself strange?

He is loved and much wanted.

Thank you for this x