My sisters inconsistent messaging style just annoys me

[completeworks]

Years ago when she was going through a bad patch, she just wouldn't respond to anyone ever. This went on for about 2/3 years. I did have a lot of sympathy with what she was going through at the time and gave her her space.

Since then her life has really improved and she's really happy. She's still absolutely shit at texting back. I almost never initiate a chat with her now because she'll probably ignore it.

She text me randomly recently asking when she can come and visit (I live about 300 miles away from our home town). We had a couple of messages back and forth. She's left me on read again. The last message I sent offered some dates and also that I'd been hunting in the spare room for all the stuff she'll need for the baby so she wouldn't need to worry.

No reply.

So annoying!

(Yes I know no one owes me a response ever etc etc but she text me, she wanted to come up, and she has a lot of form for ignoring messages so it's not a one off)

Is there a reason you just don't call?

Good point, I'm a phone call avoider and she's pretty similar.

Not sure many people our age call each other that often!

That might be so but she can't refuse to answer your questions on the phone and you wouldn't be frustrated.

You've both chosen messaging as your preferred method of communication so you need to find a way of dealing with it's limitations.

Message her again and tell her you need to know when she's coming by X date or you will start to fill your diary as if she's not coming at all.

It sounds like she self isolates when she is going through trauma. She’s probably trying to reconnect but her social battery is high on some weeks and low on others. She probably has limited energy and trying to stay on top of mundane life admin can periodically be overwhelming. I would guess that she’s trying her best and doesn’t mean to be rude

Yeah maybe, but we were mid conversation when she buggered off. Again.

Well make an exception this time and call.

Then you will find out what's happening.

I can't stand this. I'd lay down some expectations (via a message). Just say if she asks to visit and you don't hear from her within 2 days when you've provided dates you'll consider the plans cancelled and will make other arrangements.
I think that's fair enough

Will she even answer the phone? I would send one more message to say actually, forget it.

Yeah she probably would answer.

Why bother asking to come and visit, let me sort cots and stuff out and then not reply. So annoying