Sudden fear of dying alone

[Commonblue]

I'm hoping that someone or people can help me bring perspective to my current anxiety.

This isn't something that normally bother me but I've been off work this week ill so a lot of time on my own. I've somehow ended up going down google rabbit holes and before you know it, I've become consumed of stories of people who have died on their own and not been found for a number of years and no one has noticed they had died.

This has triggered something inside me, I feel this deep sense of fear this could be me even though I have a husband, family (well don't speak to my siblings), good friends and family. I am in my mid 30s too but worry what if this happens to me? What happens if I lose contact with those as I get older?

I'm also trying for a 2nd child and think this plays heavily on me too such as thinking I've left it too late. I then worry that negative thinking will impact me getting pregnant, and what if my child is a n only child and ends up with no family. Could this happen to them? All alone? I feel I've been in a tailspin all day.

I know my thoughts aren't rational but any gentle reassurance would be appreciated or links to any guidance.

If it is any consolation, you won't know or care because you will be dead!

Funny I did actually think that! I think maybe what I'm maybe more anxious about is being alone, the loneliness, if I can't give my child a sibling them also being alone and not having a family.

My husband is older, no kids and no family once my mum dies.

I went through a time of having the same anxiety... what REALLY helped me was researching care homes and financial planning.

I started envisioning myself being old and alone and how I can do that in the best way possible.

I also find other people a bit annoying in a crisis and figure that if I can build relationships with lovely nurses or people then hopefully if I die with one of them around they will be soothing.

I am also kind of grateful that its unlikely no one who loves me will have to lose me, if that makes sense.

So i picture myself in a lovely little care home or bungalow, eating all the red liquorice i fancy and reading and one day it will end... hopefully without too much pain or awareness.
I am also mid 30's

Get doorstep milk deliveries. Then somebody will notice that the milk isn't being taken inside.

Thank you. I work in elderly care so places like this have been in my mind. That's a helpful way to look at things too.

I’m surprised dairies don’t use that angle in their marketing.

I absolutely get this fear. It is something that is taking over my life at the moment too. I am an only child, and so is my partner. We are late 30s. I would love a child, but I worry that if we were to have an only, we would leave them with no family, especially if we were to die early. I think because of this, I don't want to have a child, but then that leaves us both without family, which makes me extremely sad. I worry about dying myself and leaving my partner on his own, or him dying and me being on my own.

I do have a good friend who is also an only child in this position, so that makes me feel a little bit less vulnerable - as in I have two good people in my life. But I feel I need more. I am currently doing all I can to build more friendships and introduce more people into my life (without having a child).

I honestly think I will live with this worry for the rest of my life though. I hope to move (hopefully with my partner and / or friend) to a retirement community fairly early (long before extreme old age sets in) in the hope that that will put us in the best position to access care and to have companionship.

I'm sorry you also have these worries. However you say you're worried about not having family with a baby and something happens. We have it written down that if anything was to happen to us, we would want my DHs brother or close friends of ours to take care of our child. I have 2 siblings who contribute nothing to my child's life and our close friends are much more like family. Even if we didn't have DH brother I'd still choose the friends over my own siblings!