Bossy Co-worker

[AmbTurn]

I don't know if I'm being "over-sensitive".

I have a co-worker who is quite overbearing. They have not been in the position as long as I have, they only joined the team a year ago. I have many years experience in the role.

I find her them bossy and overbearing. We all do the same job role however, I find that she will take over what other people are doing sometimes and points out their mistakes (quite loudly).

She tells our supervisor that she gets given all the dog's body work and that she basically mops up the mess.
She says things like "my office".

Anyway, we were speaking to another colleague of mine and she said about me, in front of me, that I am really over sensitive and that I take everything personally.

We use a shared mailbox on our team and she opens all the emails and then shouts over have you seen this email for you.

I am now questioning as to whether I am over sensitive but I just find her behaviour quite bullish

Have you spoken to your line manager

No I haven't mentioned anything because she is quite pally with her and she generally states we should sort things between the team ourselves.

Your manager is useless, anyone that uses the “sort things out between yourselves” is useless. Yes there are some minor things that you leave people to work out but the broad process, behaviour expectations etc should come from the manager.

It sounds like your colleague is annoying and you may tend towards being more sensitive but from what you have described I wouldn’t say you are being “over-sensitive and taking things personally”. I would not like working with her either.

Just assert your boundaries OP

"More than capable of managing my own work load"

"Yes of course I've seen it, you don't need to monitor my inbox"

If the retort is "I'm just trying to help"

"Ive done this job for Xx years, I'm fine thanks"

If this continues you speak to your manager and tell them that you feel undermined by the behaviour and you need them to address it.

Speak to your manager’s manager with concrete examples. If the email is clearly for you then why are they opening it unless they are planning on sorting it.

your managers refusal to manage them
shows they aren’t doing their job properly.

tell them that they clearly don’t have enough work to do if they are in your business all the time and perhaps focus on their own as otherwise department looks over staffed and budget cuts could be coming.

It's driving me absolutely mad.
There is a small team of us and we all have our own individual emails and then the shared inbox.
We obviously all check the box every so often to see if any are for us. Before you can even check she has piped up shouting there's an email for you or she's already opened it and read it so it's then marked as read.
Further, when taking on a new caseload we all manage our own caseloads she has already been in mine and had a look at it! For whatever reason.
Then tells other colleagues I am sensitive and I take things personally.
I feel like I am being micromanaged and my boss won't do anything as she bitches to her about other stuff .

I don't quite understand the set up.

You have a shared inbox - is this full of jobs which can be assigned to any member of the team, or are they specifically addressed to team members?

If they aren't assigned to specific team members, who assigns them?

If they are, what's the policy on reading other peoples' emails?

So we email from the shared mailbox to clients. When and if they respond and assign it to ourselves, that response is to the person who sent it, we all manage our own caseloads.
However, we check the inbox frequently to see if any of our clients have replied. Before you can even check the inbox say every 5 minutes she is already shouting out there's an email for you and it's already been opened.

I might be a good idea to treat this is an issue of policy.

Reading emails from other people's clients is first of all a waste of time, and secondly marks them as unread.

Ask your line manager in general terms what the policy is.

If they don't have a policy, then you need to assert your boundaries. If they do, then it should be followed.

Talk in terms of job efficiency, productivity, and don't be diverted into your supposed sensitivity. Ask your colleague not to do this, say it interferes with your ability to do your job, and that if you want help or commentary, you will ask for it.

While you think your line manager is useless, you still should report the issue if it continues. Let them know it's interfering with your productivity. If that doesn't work, take it up a level, or to HR. You should be allowed to get on with your work in peace.

Agree with saying things like, 'More than capable of doing this without your interference, thanks'.

If she makes another comment about you being oversensitive then laugh and say, 'We all find you bossy and overbearing, Janet. It's not just me, believe me'.

I'm just feeling micromanaged and it's getting on my nerves, especially when I have been in the role a hell of a lot longer with lots more experience in it.

I’d do this ^ along with a few comments along the lines of…

”gosh Janet, I wish I had as much time on my hands to spend monitoring other people’s work as you do”

“bloody hell Janet, interfering in my work again, have you got no work of your own to do?”

“I see you’ve been checking my caseload again Janet, another quiet morning for you is it?”.

Just say thanks but I've got this .

Men are never described as bossy. He would
be assertive or thorough. Never bossy.

It's a she!

Talk to your line manager first, if that does not achieve results then the next manager up.

I would call what you are experiencing harassment, not micro-managing.

I don't know what to suggest but im in the same situation as you! I've found it also ramps up whenever the manager is off work, she basically appoints herself as stand in manager and its driving me nuts working with her!!!!