Levi Bellfield blocked from having civil partnership in prison

[CosmicDaisyChain]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c7202ee6z5no

Is it just me? When someone commits the most tortuous and unimaginably horrific murders of women and is highly lightly to have committed many more we just don't know about, given that in some cases these killers of women do sometimes get released what in God's name possesses a woman to want to marry these unspeakable beasts?

Is it attention? Do they think they are just special and can save them? Do they feel absolutely nothing for the sheer horror his victims were subjected to with his unspeakable violence solely against women? What makes them think they won't be next?

It's just unfathomable to me. What in God's name is wrong with these women?? How can they possibly find anything about this man so attractive they would want to marry him?

I would assume the very reason they choose someone like LB is the certainty that he will never ever get out so they will never have to be alone in a room with him. Probably some kind of massive trauma in their past.

I just think they are desperate

It's beyond comprehension isn't it!

The woman has to be a psycho herself

Like the women who write to death row prisoners in America - and then want to marry them.
I can only think they must have suffered some sort of trauma and this is their coping mechanism.

I did consider this but this is not a unique thing and as I said there are women who marry killers of other women who do eventually get released. What happens then? Do they just think they can get panic buttons installed and stick a metal grill on the bedroom door at night to keep thier husband out? It's just unfathomable what goes on in these women's heads.

It's more of a fantasy I imagine ,he's never going to get out of prison they can pretend he's been wrongfully convicted
It's a strange phenomena but a lot of infamous murderers seem to have a lot of females attention.

I think it’s a mental health issue / personality disorder of some kind, to be honest. I think there are different elements to it.

1. Some people have an obsession with ‘saving’ and ‘changing’ others. They think that they, above all others, will be the one to change a monster. It gives them an ego boost and a sense of worth. They latch on to people who are ‘broken’ and think they, and they alone, can mend them.

1. Some people are simply delusional or so disordered in their thinking that they simply don’t have an accurate perception of what they’re doing. There are people who genuinely believe that they are in a relationship with a TV presenter they’ve never met and think they are sending them a signal by wearing a certain colour tie to read the news. It’s similar to stalking, it’s Baby Reindeer stuff. I think there are certainly women who might fixate on a criminal in this way, and while any other famous person would be terrified and take out a restraining order, a dangerous man in prison for life, who is also a psychopath, will play along and exploit it instead.

1. For some women it’s just part of a sick fantasy. And they know full well that the man in question can’t actually ever live with them or physically harm them, because he’s in prison. So they’re living their weird dark fantasy in a way that’s ’safe’. They’d probably shit themselves if the man was released, in fact.

1. For some it really is just a pathological obsession with attention and shocking others.

I think you need to look beyond the women too.

These men are often very manipulative and able to target vulnerable women - even from a prison cell. So I imagine a case of vulnerable women being groomed.

Charles Bronson’s wife he married while in prison had mental health problems and died from a drug overdose.

Its a way for someone to have a high profile relationship with an alpha male type figure without actually ever having to be in that relationship and deal with the issues that go along with it.

I don't understand why any woman would want to marry any murderer or anyone who abuses women. I don't understand why any woman would want to be involved with a lifer. However I have a feeling that he is being vexatious and, in order to exert some control, he will be sueing whatever government department has decided to block this. It's his way of being in charge.

It's not just women wanting relations with prisoners, but also criminals and thugs on the street often have a few kids by different women... what attracts women to men like this? I can only assume these women like to be victims or have very low self esteem.

Not murderers specifically, but there is a very trashy reality TV show called Love after Lockup, which has lots of people who met their partners as prison penpals then meeting in real life. It's very sad how much the non-convict partners obviously struggle with "normal" relationships for various reasons, most of them seem to need therapy a lot more than they need a prison penpal.

In prison or not there are desperate women about, some deliberately write to them then believe they are innocent because the criminal wrote a letter and said so

There are twisted men and women in the world

I volunteer in prison. When you are there, you put the crimes out of your head and focus on the human being in front of you. You see the unfairness in their lives - for example, most prisoners have some sort of SEN, and many are functionally illiterate. Most have trauma or abuse in their back ground. So you sympathise with this human being who had very few chances in life, and is suffering now. And you try to build them up, encourage them, plan for a better future for them, give them hopes.

Add to this situation, the manipulative skills many have. For some, the only skills they have ever developed. For some, they have relied on wheedling and coaxing trust out of people even to eat on the outside, from childhood up. For some, they find themselves for the first time, possibly the most attractive proposition in the room, when they are used to being the dregs of any social group.

Add to this the fact that some men genuinely change while they are in prison, and make good resolutions and stick to them for life. Some men make good resolutions and stick to them as hard as they can, but fail, fall into temptation, take drugs again, take money the easy way again, drink alcohol again. And some men never make good resolutions but pretend to do so, and I certainly can't tell which is which.

So you have a hopeful optimistic women, used to putting crime out of their mind, interacting with men who have had the worst start in life possible, and you rightly feel sorry for, some of whom will do well, some of whom are skilled manipulative liars, and you can't tell which is which...

Volunteers in prison need careful supervision, and we have to watch ourselves and each other for grooming. We debrief after every visit, and identifying possible grooming is part of that.

If you don't have that careful supervision, yes, I can see how these totally inappropriate relationships happen. It can be lethal both for the man and the woman. I was with a prisoner last night, for example, who's whole hopes and plans for the future are based on moving in with his "missus" and how she is going to help him get back on his feet and turn his life around, He is going to get qualifications and a job, and they will raise a family. I was some way into this conversation when it came out casually that these two people have not ever actually met in the flesh yet. They are both fantasising, and the outcome is likely to be devastating for both of them

Probably attention seeking. Look at meeeee!!! I married a vile serial killer!! I can save him!! I can redeem him..
It was reported that Peter Sutcliffe had a large fan base of women who used to write to him. Some even visited him I believe!!
P.S. hasn't Belfield converted to Islam?

You do get these weird women who become besotted with murderers (Ian Huntley, Peter Sutcliffe etc). The best one had to be Kate and Roberta Kray. Crime authors. Despite the fact that Ronnie was openly gay.

You get the notoriety without the shallow grave.
They need psychiatric help.

I think it’s that they want to think of being the only one the killer loves/wouldn’t harm. That they are special in some way the other women weren’t.

Would be great if this much care went into victims of crimes

And criminals have a choice

Many prisoners have had no choices in life. Most prisoners are also victims of crimes. Often as defenceless children. The prisoner I was with last night has a medical history that should have meant he was taken from his family at 3 months at the latest. Instead he lived with constant abuse until he ran away at 14. Of course, straight into the loving arms of cannabis dealers. He has no education, can't read, has since coming into prison been diagnosed with ADHD, suffers paranoia related to the cannabis, and basically, was BORN with no hope. Of course he deserves a chance. He has never had one.

I always presumed some serious mental health/neglect/narc issues coupled with a very extreme 'fawn response'.

Unfortunately, there are a few women who will do literally anything to acquire the 'status' of having a partner or husband.

This is a fascinating insight thank you. I just have to think there would still be something very wrong in the thinking of anyone who could even for a fraction of a second put the actions of someone like Bellfield out of their minds and just look at the person. I just couldn’t detach the crimes from the man. I just think some people are beyond redemption. Of course it also goes beyond just the woman.

@Icepearl you shouldn't be disclosing those conversations here....anon or not. Did you not sign anything to assure confidentiality?