Be upset with DH over credit card holiday purchase

[Bamboolampsandscandichairs]

I’ve lost sleep over this! DH has paid for a £3k holiday (all inclusive) with a credit card. He was made redundant in May and doesn’t have a job at the moment. We don’t have much in savings and what we do have has kept us going whilst he is job hunting. I had a crap year with lots of family illness (mum has cancer, brother very unwell). I think he felt bad for me and decided to book this on a whim. I tried to cancel but we still have to pay for the flights and shuttle service. I’m very worried that we won’t be able to pay this back on time and I’m very debt averse!

Does he have a plan to cover the cost? I would be wanting him to take any job just to bring funds in.

YANBU.

Spending £3k when he's not bringing in any money, and you do not have huge reserves, would be a major problem for me too.

When he's earning, he can choose to be frivolous but until then, he needs to curtail all spending so you can just survive. Otherwise he's just adding to your stress.

Make him hand over that credit card before he does something else that's stupid.

He has been working on some things and is confident that he will pay it back by September/October but I’m very worried!!!!

Your DHs answer to your bad year is to reward you with additional financial worries. This is a holiday purely because he is a selfish dick and wanted it for himself.

I don't necessarily agree with this. I think it could equally be because he's stupid with money and actually thought he was doing a nice thing for his wife. No malice, but still the wrong thing to have done.

I'd make sure he realised that this holiday is going to cause you more stress than relaxation if he doesn't show that he has a solid plan for paying it back, rather than a vague "It'll be fine" sentiment...

OMG this is the height of stupidity by someone with no job, currently bringing in no income.

Since you won't get your money back, go and enjoy the all inclusive. Can you transfer it to a 0% interest card?

I'd be telling him to get a move on with finding a job though.

Go, enjoy it, you deserve it. When you get back, kick his ass into gear and ensure he gets absolutely any job he can.

I think he felt bad for me and decided to book this on a whim

So he booked it without asking you? This is NOT okay.

Even though we don’t have money problems, I would never spend that amount without checking with DH, and neither would he.

Is he due to be paid for "some things"? If so, you might need to trust him a bit more.

If you're used to working PAYE, then temporary contracts might seem scary, but they are another form of working and can be lucrative for those who have the right skills to get enough work that way.

How about he gets his own arse into gear to get a job instead of it being her responsibility to motivate him?

I'd be raging. If it was a couple of hundred £ for a weekend somewhere in the UK, then fair enough. But an unemployed person going £3k into debt for something non essential is absolutely horrific.

Is it even somewhere you've ever said you wanted to go?

Are you absolutely sure you can’t get a refund? You should be able to if you’ve booked it in the last few days.

What do you mean by pay it back on time? Debt can sit on a credit card for as long as you need it to, it just accumulates interest if not transferred over to a 0% card.

What are the things he's working on - is it a temporary job or something he's doing on a self-employed basis?

Hes told you he's confident it will be paid back within 1-2 months. Does he usually lie? If not, I think you should accept he's also an adult who can make decisions. You might not agree with them, but if paid back in 2 months is it really an issue?

He has been working on some things and is confident that he will pay it back by September/October

What kind of things bring in £3k plus interest in 3 months?

Do you work?

This. Transfer it to a 0% card - there are some offering 26 months now - and enjoy the holiday.

What’s the interest free period on the card?

You say he was made redundant in May - please tell me he’s working now in August?

Well that’s next month….I’d kill him.

If he was made redundant 2 to 3 months ago and has just spent £3000 on a holiday then he needs to get ANY job for now as otherwise this will cause you a huge amount of stress and problems if you can't pay it back!!

ANY job will do - he can do this until he finds something more suitable.

Spending £3k on a holiday without income or a means to pay it back is madness imo.

But if the deed is done I guess you may as well thoroughly enjoy it, because paying minimum balance on the credit card it’s going to end up costing you a hell of a lot more than £3k!

I’d remove the card from him though, he sounds like an absolute financial liability who’s going to create more problems than he solves.

Can you transfer it to a 0% credit card & pay it off at around £100 a month? I know that won't clear a £3k balance quickly but what I mean is, hopefully he'll have a job by then and can pay the balance off.

I’d be livid.

I don’t know what his work situation is but I think I might be saying that unless he gets a job, any job (stacking shelves, whatever) to cover half of the cost you’re not going and you’ll make him shoulder the things you can’t cancel. Or could you keep the flights and shuttle and stay somewhere cheaper/ not AI.

Tell me the credit card isn’t “joint” and I’m your name too.

Do not be tempted to let this one go because he was alleged trying to to do something nice, or you’ll end up homeless with nothing but a CCJ to your name. If he can’t understand that you live within your means- when you’re unemployed as he is it’s caravan in Wales/ staycation time and if he can’t understand that he shouldn’t be in charge of any family finances.