Threshold for social services?

[Okonomoyaki]

Hello,

We aren't parents so thought I'd come to those who are for advice.

Neighbour across th garden doesn't seem to have a happy family. The children (approx 2 and 4) are always crying and screaming (not in a happy playing way) so loud I can hear them indoors. This evening it was so loud I couldn't hear a call I was on.
Recently we heard the mum say "stop biting me" and "stop headbutting me" to the eldest child. In a calm and gentle way, but went on for almost an hour, so wasn't hugely effective.Dad is around but mostly smoking weed and ignoring the children.
It appears the children have been sent to bed but theyve been crying so loudly for the last hour some other neighbours have come to check all is ok.

We're not kid people, and it isn't a very family friendly area, so we don't know anyone to go to for advice on if this is normal or not. It is, however, very distressing for us, the other neighbours, and I imagine those children too.

Am I being unreasonable to involve social services?

You are never unreasonable to ring NSPCC for advice, talk it through with them. You can keep it confidential unless they tell you it needs to be reported and then you can take it forward.

Do the children appear to be clean, fed and appropriately clothed when you see them? Do the parents look well kept? Does the house and garden look decently maintained? Unless the children look neglected, dirty, wearing clothes that don’t fit well or are torn, etc then social services would likely just do a check and leave them to it. Even with the weed smoking. You don’t hear the parents screaming at the children or each other. It sounds like pretty normal toddler tantrums.

If you are concerned do this.

I second advice to ring the NSPCC helpline. I’ve done this before and they were very helpful.

You should call if you are concerned. It’s that simple - better to report and be wrong than miss something important. At the least it will trigger some support for the mum and dad if it’s needed

Not your decision to involve social services or not. All you could do was report concerns to local safeguarding board but they wouldn't act on what you have said alone. It's about building a picture of little pieces. I'm a teacher.

The fact that you’re not kid people but you feel viscerally distressed by this is a good indicator that there is reason to be concerned I reckon. I’d call nspcc or police non emergency number.

I wouldn't call social services if the only reason is loud crying/screaming. How long has it been going on? How much have you interacted with the family?

My 2 and 4 year old have gone through phases of crying and screaming literally every time they are asked to do something/told no to something...especially recently my 4 year old is very resistant to bedtime. It could be completely normal.

I doubt that would meet threshold. I have a social worker and family worker as friends and I’m always VERY surprised at how high the bar is.

Threshold for what?

Removal or child protection plan? No.

Some early help /intervention, maybe support/referral if the eldest is ND , possibly yes if there are enough resources.

Thanks for the advice everyone. I've never been in this situation, so apologies to those who pointed out I didn't know the proper process / how things work. I'm a relatively intelligent person but this is just completely outside my knowledge base and I'm trying to do the right thing. I also don't know what is / isn't a toddler tantrum - I've never been around them (well not since I was one).
I think a call to NSPCC may be the best route forward.

My 2 year old will cry for ages when he's not getting his own way and my 7 year old who is non verbal screeches and screams a lot. If you didn't know us you would think something was wrong. But in a household where the children don't talk they sometimes communicate with cries, screeches and screams.
Yes my neighbours have called the social services and nothing came of it because the children are not neglected or abused.
Was I angry at the neighbours for calling NO cause it could have saved a child if something was happening.

Actually sounds like the mum needs help if she's saying things like that.