AIBU to not want to bark like a dog (yes bark gate... it's semi-funny)

[Dontfeellikewoofing]

So background - I have been a dancer for 30 years. Singer for 20. Teacher for 18. Degree level teaching, college, Afhea, Masters, private, group, one on one, leisure, professional, you name it. also ran my own performance troupe for a decade. still working as a tutor and director and occasional performer

Decided after a long rough period to treat myself to some raq sharqi belly dance classes, a dance I'd always fancied learning to pay homage to my middle eastern heritage (probably not relevant but something I want to honour)

Had a lovely time at classes and did a little performance too, all great, bought/made lots of gear, sharing my teacher's business all over socials too, bigging them up

This week they had a small class, and came to diaphragm exercises. I have been teaching people to use their diaphragm for over a decade, so have great control of mine and they know this.

Her usual ply is to get people to breathe to comfort, then shake their diaphragm

sometimes, we are asked to "ha ha ha", pant, or bark like a dog. in 6 months i have never barked, and only participate lightly in this. I do the exercises, but on Monday i was tired and chose to lightly opt out of animal noises.

They singled me out, in front of the other class members, stopping the class, and insisted I bark like a dog before the class continued. I said I didn't want to.

They pushed and embarrassed me, until I pushed back and said "no thankyou, I can move my diaphragm in my own way"

The rest of the class was conducted in a huff, then at the end they collared me and shouted at me that not doing that ruined the class and that i was being narcissistic.

I apologized for pushing back but explained that bodily autonomy and sensitivity to what people are comfortable with is key to teaching in general and dance specifically.

They continued to rag me about it until i walked out

AIBU to think this is poor teaching and to find another teacher, i have done, some miles away but to be pissed off that this person feels they (with no teaching quals) can then post passive aggressive Facebook statuses aimed at me about "teachers not having to be likable"

Maybe not likeable, but flexible, sensitive, adaptable, perceptive, respectful and impartial... especially when they're taking your money?

In all my years I've never singled someone out like that for a big or small reason and anyone I've known that did lost their students or got the royal sack,

Yanbu - I'd reply to any PA fb status that teachers with qualifications learn to respect bodily autonomy and student comfort levels.

If they have a governing body I'd formally complain as well.

unfortunately on having a research it would seem she hasn't had any formal training, general or dance!

not that it's essential for teaching a skill but a good dancer does not a good teacher make :/

I fear the slandering of my own business for her personal insecurities reasons! Not just a teacher now but a funeral celebrant, although my online presence is minimal as I've not needed it to thus far have the level of business I have

Yanbu. It would have hoped that in a class that can be sensitive for some people I.e. body image etc, this kind of thing is respected over everything. She is out of order imo

She's probably intimidated because you are a teacher and having made a 'thing' of it, couldn't back down. Your only mistake was in apologising for pushing back - as you say, you are spending your money and her job is to teach you, not make you feel uncomfortable.
I think you are going to need a new class though. I wouldn't let this pass if she continues with the stupid fb posts - that's so unprofessional and if she chooses to play out her gripes publicly, then I'd be inclined to hand her her arse publicly too!

With others she doesn't force them to go barefoot, get their bellies out, ululate, anything they are not comfortable with, and she states that ever week, so I don't know why I had to be humiliated on this occasion? Other than she hates my experience and confidence

She's bang out of order.
(Or should that be bark out of order)

How horrible to single someone out in a class that you're paying for that you want to enjoy.

I had that done to me in tai chi. I couldn't get a move right and the teacher was unable to show me what I was doing wrong but made me keep trying while the whole class watched.

A lovely healthy fun time became a horrible, abusive l, humiliating and embarrassing event I never went back to.

Shit teachers lacking in empathy and ability. And my money. As I'm never going back.

Her mistake. Sod her.

Oh god I'm sorry that happened. I do tai chi and it's meant to be inclusive and RELAXING

Did you find somewhere else to practise? It's gutting isn't it when you think you've found your tribe then get attacked because of the teachers ego

It's not funny at all. I would be very pissed off and you sound like a great teacher and she, is as you say, not a teacher at all.

Thankyou... i think i just felt the need to semi laugh it off in case I was being unreasonable, but the more I think about it, the more she needed to manage that more professionally

It's not you OP it's her for sure.

To answer @headache re my tai chi, no I didn't find anywhere. Just go onto YouTube for free now instead.

She was making sense physiologically speaking, but to cause a student discomfort is bang out of order. To then blame you for ruining a class when she was the one to sour the mood, was simply the cherry on top.

Update

I went to the class today and it was just the two of us

I received a genuine heartfelt and reflective apology - which I accepted. I'm glad I can carry on

Did you name change?
Maybe she found this thread! Or someone she knows has had a word about appropriate behaviour.

Yeah I did name change! Not sure why.. I wasn't feeling great at the time...

I think she realised herself pretty quickly, she'd been worrying about it for 2 weeks apparently so I'm glad I went back, we are all human after all

Update

Three of us from the group went to a private dance party (hafla). Not a show, not a competition, a private party for fun. One of the ladies had her birthday there and invited us

The teacher insisted we wear a uniform set by her... I chose to match the colours of the other ladies as I don't feel it's for someone to dictate what I wear to a private event.

Bit of fun. Whatever. She wasn't even there.

She bugged and harassed me for the video all week, and I asked if I could edit it before sharing. She agreed in person to wait as I hadn't watched it myself yet and wanted to make peace with my appearance and efforts.

She managed to bully it from someone I'm the video I sent it and shred it without my consent. I now know not to share anything ever until I'm happy.

When I said it was my video, she told me it wasn't. It was very untrue, and I showed her it was.

The lady who sent it to her agreed she had sent it and apologized for doing so after I'd asked if she kept it private until I'm happy to share.

Shamed me for my skirt slipping, saying it was my own fault for not wearing what she told me to at a private social. I've lost 1.5 stones on mounjaro, and I am very self-conscious. She is aware of this and remarks on my weight loss frequently out of jealousy.

She shared the video with our whole group after agreeing in person to wait until I'd had a chance to look over it myself, claiming ownership of it.

Patronised me about being a performer (I've been a professional theatre performer and teacher for 18 years, and I am currently working on a project in an internationally acclaimed theatre production myself)

We don't share things unless the subject gives permission

Yes there are videos of me online singing or acting that I'm not in lobe with. But I was also being paid as a professional who was performance ready and prepared for that. This was an am dram dance party.

I reminded her, and I got several pages of abuse. Calling me pissy, a diva, attention seeking, trying to be different. This is accusing me of being self-important. Pages and pages of insults. Over it all, I stayed very placid, despite horrific insults from her.

It's a dance class for fun. The professional friends I have shared her diatribe with are horrified. I'm upset. I will take the substantial money I've been paying this amateur childish woman and seek out professional workshops instead.

She has no respect for her students' bodily autonomy, privacy, or learning. She claims to have knowledge but is clearly an amateur and hates my confidence and sense of boundary.

I am so shocked and upset. I won't do anything but good lord, what a horrible woman.

I am shaken and thoroughly disgusted.

She sounds horrific
Sorry you had to experience this op.
I'd cut ties with her.

Surprised you didn't drop her after her lack of professionalism in august TBH.

Sadly I believed her apology to be genuine

More fool me

I am sure others in the group will be thinking the behaviour of the teacher isn't appropriate. If I saw this going on - which is intimidating and moving into bullying, I would be thinking of leaving.

I hope you leave because she doesn't have right to behave like this. As she's not registered and there's place to put in a complaint, I think your only option is to vote with your feet.

You don't deserve this horridness. And you certainly should not be paying her.

I'm sad your fun hobby has turned shit. But it's her issue - not you.

Last lesson saying "men are essentially useless" and shouting at the shy Latvian happily married mother to "just get a dog and a dildo karina" many times whilst she looked visibly uncomfortable. That was a lovely moment.

She sounds a complete nightmare and I don't know why you have continued with her.
OP - I laughed out loud btw at the (possibly accidental) pun in your first post. After you didn't bark they collared you 🤣.

It sounds like you're a threat to her.
You, a professional dancer/teacher.
Her, an amateur.
She wants to tear you down to elevate herself.
Your updates are awful, she sounds unhinged.
Take the high road, she's shown you who she is, dont stoop to her level.
Chin up, tit's out, be proud of your achievements and walk away with your dignity ❤️

Not intentional but can't believe I didn't make the link 😅

I continued as I thought her apology was genuine but now I know it is not a one off she is an aggressive person