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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Re DD sport AIBU or is DH

4 replies

Seraseras · 01/08/2024 19:45

DD13 plays soccer and is on the first team - not county or national level but they would be close to top of their leagues. She’s athletic but not ultra competitive. DH is mad about sport, incredibly competitive and growing up it was his life.
He manages DDs year teams and gives a lot of time and energy to it. DD goes to the vast majority of training and matches (prob because DH is pushing, not because she is Uber dedicated)

They have come back to training early and this week 2. Tonight one of her pals parents decided to take a gang swimming and for pizza in the good weather which is due to break over the coming days. My DH said no but I said he was being unreasonable and she should be allowed go. I appreciate training is a commitment but I feel that there are few evenings when the girls can really enjoy the summer and missing one training session is not a huge deal - missing a match would be different. That’s flat out no.

DH is furious , I said look I’m sorry but I think that there should be some spontaneous summer fun and the rest of the year is school and training at XYZ time.

Was I unreasonable - I feel awful now. DD was going anyway but I made the call as I didn’t want him getting pissed off at her. He tends to and that just doesn’t help keep her in the sport

OP posts:
Ratfinkstinkypink · 01/08/2024 19:49

You are not wrong, he cannot live out his footballing dreams through his child and she absolutely needs to be able to decide if she wants to train or not. I had a sporty, dedicated DD but the decision to train and compete always came from her, I just facilitated her getting to where she needed to be.

Floralnomad · 01/08/2024 19:53

YANBU , have you actually asked your daughter if she wants to carry on with so much of a football commitment .

Seraseras · 01/08/2024 19:53

His argument is that if he didn’t push them, they wouldn’t do it. He has a point BUT I think the odd break isn’t a big deal. He feels quite differently

OP posts:
Seraseras · 01/08/2024 19:57

Floralnomad · 01/08/2024 19:53

YANBU , have you actually asked your daughter if she wants to carry on with so much of a football commitment .

Yes, she enjoys it and enjoys being with her pals but I think she does find my DHs intensity a bit stifling at times. She has a huge amount of potential and was asked to join a national tennis squad but she didn’t want to so we didn’t push it.
My DH issue is that a commitment is a commitment and should be treated seriously

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