Neighbour and her daughter - only wants to know my daughter when it suits her

[foel]

Have had it for years. They're not really friends to be honest l. It became obvious that neighbours daughter only wanted to bother with our daughter when she had nothing else too. Our daughter was always 2nd choice.

Didn't bother her - like I said they weren't friends. We'd hear from them once every 3 months and that was it.

The mother just does not get it. She wants to share lifts now for new school term. Haven't heard from her for weeks so its obvious this would suit her. Didn't care before or last term when we struggled to get her there - its all one way with them.

Daughter doesn't really want to share a lift. Am I childish thinking, sorry I'd rather take her myself now even if it is hassle?

Just tell her you'll be doing your own thing.
It sounds like she'll rely on you and then not reciprocate.

Just say no sorry that wouldn't work for me. Don't let yourself be used.

If said neighbour proposes shared lifts etc - just say no.

The "no" is her problem to deal with.

Failing that, tell her to fuck off.

That often solves most problems with people like that!

We’ve got one of these. Sees our DC as the entertainment for hers.

The mother just does not get it. She wants to share lifts now for new school term.

Oh she gets it. I'd run a sweepstake on how long it takes her work it so that you're doing all the school runs - she'll be tired/ill/busy or anything else she can think of that means she can't do it. And you'll get fed up of her being unreliable so you WILL do it all yourself and then she'll be 'but you're going anyway'.

Do your own thing for your DD and be strong when it comes to batting away any further suggestions from her.

Shes always been the same. Only interested when there's something in it for her. She seems obsessed that everything is about her daughter and nothing else matters.

I just don't get how she doesn't realise what shes doing....

As PP said she does know what she’s doing - and it doesn’t bother her because her sole focus is to get what she wants for her and her daughter
You are being used

As your daughter is not interested in this arrangement then it should be easier for you not to be available- I would even vary what time you left for the school run

But PP nailed it - ‘sorry that doesn’t work for me’
You don’t need to give long explanations etc

Your daughter and your daughters feelings come first always. Sod the neighbour x

Well ignored her and she got the message. Thanks all.

I agree with pps saying 'Just say no - it won't work for you'.

Don't feel bad or embarrassed - the mum and daughter clearly don't let guilt bother them. Don't explain, but if pushed, just say you don't want to get into any kind of commitment or arrangement about lifts. I always say 'Drive time is a time for me to chill in my own/my family's company - I don't want anyone else around then'.

Be strong - you won't regret it, but you WILL regret giving in to them.