So miserable in my job

[Oldbean1965]

I've been in my current accounts job for almost four years and am coming home depressed every single day. At almost 59 years old I'm thinking life is too short for this.
The work load and bombardment of emails is relentless. Most nights I'm leaving half an hour late. Every month end there's bickering and we're losing our shit with each other. The commute home takes twice as long as it should due to sitting in stationery traffic.
I started this job during lockdown and my dad died of covid when I was a month into the job. As I was new I took the bare minimum off and soldiered on.
There's no capacity to reduce my hours as the job is too busy. The salary is OK and the holiday allowance is good at 5 weeks plus bank holidays. I'm almost 59, mortgage free and we could survive on my husband's wage. I've some savings which would tie me over for a couple of months too.
Husband says I can give up for a while if I want to. The house needs a deep clean, decluttering and a few jobs to be done, none of which we seem to find the time for.
I feel guilty though. Why should I be the lucky one who gets to give up work and potter about the house getting stuff done? Earning the money should be a joint effort. Other people have to put up with a lot worse at work than me, I need to pull up my big girl pants and get on with it, but another 8 years of this slog fills me with dread.
I feel like taking a couple of months off to recharge, sort the house and then look for maybe a part time job. I feel like I want to disassociate with this workplace as in my mind it's always associated with the dark period of covid and losing my dad. My poor 80 year old mum is as fit as a fiddle physically but is mentally very fragile. She's never got over it, has very high anxiety and is very needy. Counselling has not worked and I don't think it ever will.
Shall I just bite the bullet and give up for a while? All I want is a nice part time job, with less aggro at month end. This would give me more time to visit my mum and take care of the housework while dh brings home the bacon. Note, he does his fair share around the house but he's getting tired too at 60 & is on tablets for high blood pressure.
There seems to be a shortage of good accounts staff but I'm still scared of not finding a decent enough job due to my age. It's against the law but age discrimination is still out there.
Sorry for such a long post, I had to get it all off my chest!

I do accounts and love it. Your job sounds miserable. Please look for another. I only work 4 days, is that a possibility?

Life is too short - sack the job off. Take some time and catch your breath

The work load and bombardment of emails is relentless. Most nights I'm leaving half an hour late. Every month end there's bickering and we're losing our shit with each other. The commute home takes twice as long as it should due to sitting in stationery traffic.

This is all really bad. There are 7 bad things there. I don't do any of those. Why are you allowing this?

It really sounds as if you could do with a break from this routine.
I don’t know much about accounts work but could you set yourself up self-employed to do work for small businesses? Alternatively, how about you leave with notice worked (presumably a month) and set yourself a target of having a job to start in January?

Good lord Op, of course you should resign.

Bottom line: you can afford to. Get another job if need be. Go part time.

Practically any job has to be better than what you're suffering currently, and lots of jobs will be hugely more enjoyable and fulfilling.

It's hard to make the jump and but go for it OP. You're miserable where you are. You've got a role that there's a demand for and you've got years of experience (which despite ageism, employers do appreciate - you're less likely to be moving on again soon).

By Christmas you could be happy and settled in a great new job and all that stress and misery behind you.

Absolutely just do it.
You can make your husbands life easier by doing the housework, making him a nice dinner, doing some of his errands like getting his car MOT'd so both of you will get the benefit of you not working.

I'm early fifties and not working anymore. Live in an ordinary smallish new build (no mortgage) and living on savings till pensions kick in. Have to watch my spending but I'm a homebody anyway. Dog gets more walks and isn't on his own which he hates. I potter about growing fruit and veg (well trying to), watching documentaries (currently watching one about all the different planets and could we live on any of them). I looked after both my parents till they died (for 5 years) so I'm a bit worn out from that so I feel fine just reading, watching stuff, reading mumsnet, gardening and sleeping. And oh the joy of not having to go out to work in the dark and rain in the winter. Instead getting a cup of tea and going back to bed to read the news.

Life is too short and lets be honest 59 is not too young to retire. I was 51 (and used to be highly qualified accountant/finance). I worked hard, I've had enough. If I get bored I might do some volunteer work or start some more hobbies or get more pets or something but unless I need the money working is over for me.

Have you had your pensions assessed to see how long it is before you can retire? That may assist you in deciding what your exit strategy should be - knowing whether you need to bumble on for a year or 6 or 8 years might impact on decision-making now. If you have a decent employer pension, particularly if you've made AVCs, you may be able to duck out sooner than you think without huge penalties even though state pension won't kick in for a while, or be in a position to retire and then get a nice part-time job doing something you actually enjoy to top it up until state pension comes in.

Sounds terrible. I would start applying for another job - don’t get disheartened, August / September are not the best months for recruiting due to holidays. In the meantime, could you start you own business doing bookkeeping fir smaller companies?

Life is definitely too short.

I’m only 50, completely different profession but I’m going to leave without anything to go to. My job is breaking me and nothing is worth that. As a nurse, I know I can work so I guess that is a comfort but management is not for me and I’m done.

Don’t feel guilty, your mental health is important and you can find something else.

I wish you well💐