50th birthday, need a handhold please

[jmh740]

I turn 50 in a few weeks I was never really interested in a party, but was persuaded by dh and wider family.
Been dress shopping today and feel old fat and frumpy.
Told venue would be between 60-70 people.
I dont have a large circle of friends most of the people are dh's friends and wider family.
I've only sent out invites via FB and word of mouth had 30 people say they were coming. Thought would be +20 with partners etc and have 9 maybes.
2 cousins have dropped out today which means 6 people with partners & children. 1 work friend said she was coming but today put a holiday count down on fb so guessing she's not coming. I'm a TA so not at work now to talk to her in person.
I feel really anxious that now one will come, im a introvert why am I having a party???

Cancel it. You clearly don't want a party, and you have been pushed into it.

I couldn't be arsed with one for mine. DH and I went to Patagonia. Was his 50th not far from mine.

No way would I be forking out loads of money to entertain others. And especially if half of them may not come. It's soul destroying to arrange/organise something like this, and have most people not attend.

I’m 50 too soon and feel similarly to you . Thought about a get together with family and friends, but have had an injury so won’t be able to now and I’m quite glad. I don’t know why I organised it in the 1st place and although quite sociable don’t like being the centre of attention and sorting everything and then the inevitable cancellations last minute. I will be doing smaller outings/dinner with a few friends at a time and am happier with that. Maybe as PP said cancel it and arrange something else?

Two options

1. Cancel it as pp says, and do something else
2. Decide to go with the flow, enjoy it for what it is, get an outfit you feel happy with, take the view that smaller parties can be more enjoyable, give DH some ideas for presents you really want in case people ask him for suggestions, eat cake and drink champagne and dance

Our last family get together was my mums funeral, so I wanted a happy get together which is one of the reasons I agreed.

I think the venue could make or break this. Is it on the brighter side, spacious, with lots of tables and chairs for example? That could be rather awkward with not enough people to give it atmosphere. You’d end up with little groups sitting around with the people they know, not mingling. And you floating around between them.

Not explaining it well, but the wrong venue for too many people can really ruin a party, suck all the energy out of it. Personally I would cancel and do something I’d actually enjoy. And congratulations!

If DH persuaded you to have it, then it’s on him to make sure people come.

Just to clarify how many have you currently got coming?