My ex husband is buying a house with his new gf. AIBU to feel uncomfortable about my kids staying over?

[HonestToFrog]

My DH and I split up back in November. He has had 2 girlfriends since then (that I know of) and is now buying a house with the latest.
We have 2 DS together, aged 5 and 2. He has them every other weekend and every Tuesday over night.
From what I know, they haven’t met the girlfriend.
Im uncomfortable with them having a second home set up with someone who has only been in their dads life for 6 months max. I know this sounds like I’m being a bit petty but it’s a genuine concern that the kids will feel like they’re living with a stranger.
I wouldn’t feel comfortable living with someone I don’t know myself so can’t expect my small children to be either.
My ex isn’t someone who you can have an adult conversation with and whenever I express my concerns, (for example taking them out of school/nursery without my knowledge) he accuses me of trying to control the kids lives. I’m absolutely not.
Aibu?

Has anyone been through anything similar?
tia.

I understand an adult feeling uncomfortable in a different house with other adults but children adapt quickly and if the woman is kind may not be uncomfortable at all.
Your transposing your feelings on them.
Kids are exposed to new teachers, new babysitters all the time with very little expected discomfort.
Positive thoughts OP that she’s a decent person.

When I split with my ex he met someone within weeks introduced them to the kids and was calling her kids 'their brothers' within 6 months!! They got engaged but split up after a year together. A few months later he met another woman and was moved in within a few months and the dc now had a sister, a few months later she was pregnant so they had another actual sibling , a year later they got married. Three years later he cheated on her and guess what? He moved in with his new girlfriend and now the kids had three new sibling! She was also pregnant within a few months.

It's been tough on the kids they have a sister and a stepsister at one house and a brother and three step siblings at another house. Their time with their dad got less and less over the years and there has been a lot of fall out. Losing extended family members they were close to on his second wife's side. Struggling to get on with his third wife.

A lot of this happened when they were in their teens so I gave them the choice of how involved they wanted to be. It massively impacted in their relationship with their dad and unfortunately as adults they are not that close to him. The eldest is planning her wedding and is hoping he won't come.

I would try to reason with your ex that it's important the kids feel comfortable with his partner and that moving in with her may be difficult for them and may affect his relationship with them. It's probably better they meet her asap to get to know her. I wouldn't recommend you try to stop them seeing him (or her) but do support your children. And provide a stable environment at home for them.

It's actually older than that plus it depends on the judge and more importantly the child if it goes to Court. This is why everyone I know waits until each child is 11 and about to or is going on to secondary school before giving them a choice. Even then some of the kids change their minds once they realise it really is their choice and in some cases end up staying over more with their dad.

Anyway as a PP pointed out he is likely looking for a nanny or a housekeeper for when the kids are over.