To continue the relationship even though I know I’m the rebound?

[Lordofthefings]

One of my brother’s very close friends who I’ve known years (albeit only platonically) broke up with his fiance. They’d been engaged 2 years and the relationship had been on the rocks for about a year.

She moved back in with her parents 3 months ago, and very shortly after that, he and I ended up dating. It was quite unexpected. We’d both been away on a group trip for my brother’s 40th and it went from there.

It’s a nice relationship and I’m interested to see where it goes but I do think I’m the rebound. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not sure it’s actually me he likes, rather than just the feeling I give him, or the void I’m filling that she left behind. He hasn’t done anything necessarily to support that view. It’s just the situation and timing.

He treats me nicely, is very caring and affectionate and a great communicator. Lots of green flags. However, he’s definitely not healed from the previous relationship yet.

I’ve obviously got no way of finding out without waiting it out. I’m not even sure he could really tell me at this point. But I don’t know whether I should indeed wait it out and see what happens, or run for the hills before it gets any further.

Their relationship doesn't sound particularly healthy. If he hasn't healed then that isn't a good sign of course, but not necessarily fatal. Is he pining for her?

Can you not just go along with it for fun ?

If it progresses great, if not oh well 🤷‍♀️ Does it have to have a final destination currently?

If you protect yourself by not investing too much emotionally I think it’s ok to continue.

You seem to have your eyes wide open which is a huge plus. Watch out for any signs of game playing and at that point cut your losses.

You said their relationship had been rocky for a year or so before breaking up, so unless he’s giving you reason to think you’re a rebound don’t automatically make this assumption. I’d go with the flow and see what happens. If it’s going well then why ruin it on a “what if”?

I know several people that went on the marry their rebound relationships and stay with them for 10+ years

Having recently lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly, if I’ve learnt anything, it’s that life is short and none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. If he’s good to you, makes you feel good, lots of green flags and you’re happy when you’re with him, take it as a win and enjoy it! If it works out then great, if not, enjoy it for what it was and move on.

It might not be a rebound thing with you, you say he is a very close friend of your brother’s and you have known each other for years. I was my husband’s first partner since his divorce and that was 14 years ago.