AIBU to have an epiphany about how shit my mother was

[Ineedaholidayagain]

I was just reading another thread and realised my mother was worse than I thought.
At 18 I was asked to leave the family home of my father as it was my working according to them, my mother had already left years ago and didn't care about me growing up.
I was 18, living at the YMCA, going to school to finish my A levels and working 3 jobs to survive. Not once did she offer to help me, in fact she said it was too expensive to call my mobile and I wasn't worth a first class stamp.
I haven't seen her for 20 years but surely it's not just me, that is truly crap or at 18 was it fair enough?

When you grow up with poor examples as parents you assume that their behaviour is normal. I think it takes most people a while to realise that their childhood experiences were below par.

That's awful, really awful. I can't imagine doing that to my own DCs. You didn't deserve that.

I too have come to the realisation that my mother was shit after reading other threads on here. When this is all you've known, it takes a while to wake up to how bad it was.

I have learned what an ACE score is, and that mine is 10! 😬

Thrown out the house at 16 to fend for myself. Thankfully this has worked in my favour and I now have a decent life. No contact is the best thing for 'parents' like this.

I was 16 and pregnant when I was told to leave. I'd been in and out of care since I was 3 anyway. Mother didn't want social services sniffing around. So I was sent off. I had no choice but to move in with my babies father. An abusive man older than me.

I look at my dc now and I just can't understand how she could do that to me

We should form a group of crap mothers, do you find people don't believe your stories as a mother could never do that?

Yep even my own siblings!. They are all damaged in some way by the childhood our mother inflicted upon us, but they still post gushing social media posts on the anniversary of her death and I'm like EH!. But I just let them be.

It is indeed shit having shit parents, especially mothers, sympathies for all of you in this thread!

My mum didn't kick me out young, but only because she knew she'd be faced with selling the house (mesher order and I was the youngest) She did constantly guilt trip me though, by insisting that I stay in education, while also telling me that I was a nerd/snob for being academic, and blaming me for not bringing in a wage (I worked part time, but not enough to pay rent)

I'm at an age now where peers are starting to lose parents and I often hear things like 'i just wish I could call my mum'. I don't have any memory of turning to my mum when I'm stressed or need advice. I mean I'm sure I did when I was very small but that concept is completely alien to me.