This weather has me hot and bothered in more ways than one (it’s a sex one)

[Tiptoeingaround]

This heat is getting to me…

AIBU to dream of a life where I can have spontaneous, carefree sex with my partner without waiting for my adult children to be out of earshot, muffling vibrator noise, or going easy because of squeaky bed frames and bouncy floorboards?

Currently, my two adult kids (21 and 25) are at home—one back from uni and the other recovering from illness. I adore them and love having them around, and we have a great relationship.

But let's be real: nobody wants to hear their mom getting frisky, so I'm always mindful and respectful, making all sorts of accommodations.

But seriously, a woman has needs… Having only recently rediscovered my inner wild thing, it's tough to go back to the days of tiptoeing around!

Anyone else? Or AIBU?

This whole post is so cringe. Inner wild thing? Just wait til they go out? Put rugs down? Don't do it on the squeaky bed? Stop using vibrators? I don't know.

Yeah, it is cringe. That’s kinda the point.

Having spent years feeling like a bit of a drudge and totally non sexy, I was enjoying a bit of freedom and getting used to being myself again. It is a bit embarrassing. (Thanks for the reminder 🙄)

And thanks for your helpful tips. All of which I am doing (being of sound mind and having respect for others comfort)

@Tiptoeingaround oh OP no need to be embarrassed, your post certainly made me giggle (I'm laughing with you though not at you!) I can't feel your pain as my little one is only a baby but happy to read that you're feeling great in your body, and remember the tiptoeing around won't be forever, and in the meantime why don't you and your partner go away somewhere for a lovely romantic weekend?!

If it makes you feel any better op me and dh have had a bit of a busy few weeks sex wise after a bit of a drought but it's not easy with kids around.

Ours are 20 and 15 so yes totally get it.

When ones sleeping out at a friends the others home and then the others out with boyfriend overnight and the younger ones home so no child free nights here either.

We've just booked a night away in a couple of weeks time though.
Maybe that's an idea?

That and early mornings are better

Mine sleeps with their door wide open and bedroom is right next to ours so we have no privacy.
We didn't expect them to still be at home in their 20s with no plans of going anywhere.

Ooh yes, a weekend away would be perfect. It’s obvious now I think about it. As silly as it sounds, it hadn’t occurred to me.

My DD has a long term health condition and when she’s ill, she’s seriously ill. So everything gets relegated to prioritise her health. I’m totally on board with this of course. It’s just that I tend to neglect my own needs in the process. Need to work on that!

But now she’s on the mend, I’m sure we can slip away for a couple of days.

Thanks ☺️

My DS sleeps with the door wide open too.. and we have paper thin walls. Hate these modern houses!!

seriously considering moving to a house with a garden large enough to have a cabin for the kids when they yo yo back home.

I couldn't have carefree sex since I was pregnant. Even if the house was empty and I had privacy, I can't just have sex anywhere and fall asleep with my toys and fanny out because family might pop in. My life will never be the same as pre children in so many ways and sex is just one of them.

Same here op. Dh and I regularly book cheap weekends away and just stay in bed the whole time lol. Knowing my luck by the time we've got the house to ourselves I'll be too old and creaky to enjoy the freedom lol

Gosh what an unnecessarily mean post.

I sympathise OP!

Um, it’s lighthearted. Lighten up!

I have no answers for you OP but completely relate!

What's 'cringe' about yearning for a spontaneous, non-stressful shag?!

@BooBooBoop i hear you! I adore my dc and cherish the relationships we have AND I mourn the freedom I used to have.

your phrase “I can't just have sex anywhere and fall asleep with my toys and fanny out because family might pop in” made me proper lol.

reminds me of the time I had a boiler repair engineer in. We had to move my bed to reach pipework, revealing my stash of toys…. We were both standing there red-faced, not knowing what to say. Ugh!!! 😂

In other news ' toys' gives me so much ick tho , can there not be another word, haha accessories or something

It doesn't bother me. I enjoy sex but I don't want to make a song and dance about it.

I get horny in the hot weather, on holiday it’s hard to contain myself 😂 DH and I have had sex with me leaning against the bedroom door and him behind me a few times when we’ve had a spontaneous shag. Kids were downstairs 😳 happy memories…

I totally understand - mine are all late teens/young adults. I’ve had a BF for about a year but he hasn’t stayed over yet as I know my DCs would be mortified to hear us shagging, and with the best will in the world you can’t be totally silent if you’re enjoying it! Plus DP goes to bed at 10 so my kids would still be awake! Luckily his house is empty most week nights and every other weekend so we just do it then, but it would be lovely to be able to have him stay over. One way to encourage the kids to move out though

You must be fun at parties. Unclench.

Someone's not getting any.

Having teenagers I get where you are coming from. Even when they are out you wonder when they will be home so not as easy as when they are younger to plan those times.

Could you go for a night away without them?

If the vibrator is loud maybe look at other toys or ways to please yourself.

Ignore the comments about it being cringe! You’re only human and we all have needs so enjoy it whilst you can!

We often have to wait until we know ours are asleep then we can try not always ideal as it’s nice being abit vocal 😂

Do you not just lock the doors?

Honestly just crack on. Its on them if they're embarresed, but really adults should know that they exist becasue their parents had sex and might still want to - nothing whatsoever to be ashamed of. And if they really don't like it, they can move out!

? Utensils