DSS is 20 and lives with us full time has done for years.
He was due to go to uni in September and has decided he doesn't want to go and wants to be a day trader instead.
The back story is he had a girlfriend of 6 weeks who dumped just after Christmas. He was working an entry level job and saving up for uni.
Anyway the girl friend finished with him and he took it really badly.
He jacked in his job and wants to trade. He's isolated himself from all friends and literally never goes out. He's at home all the time except when he does his one 5 hr shift a week at another entry level job.
If I suggest going out with a friend I get a stupid reply of 'i'll go out when I'm rich'.
He's very vague about how much money he has as it feels as though he's always waiting for bitcoin to go up or some other story.
He says he likes the freedom but he feels like he is just gumming around. Having breakfast at 9:30 every day and the going off to the gym for a couple of hours in the afternoon.
He literally sits and watches you tube videos all day. Some are videos on how to trade some are Andrew Tate and others are about cars etc.
He had no money at all last week so DH lent him £50 to put petrol in the car. 2 days later he wanted borrow £500 DH said no.
His phone bill used to come out of my account and I got fed up with him not transferring the money for it. So we changed the dd to his account. First month the payment bounces. Fortunately it is a rolling contract but DH has now moved the payment to his account.
I have suggested that he needs to do more shifts and he basically got up and walked away refusing to do so. Apparently it's all a con, having a job. You make other people rich blah blah blah.
We have also really encouraged him to go to uni, try and get a job with some prospects to move up, go to college to get a trade or to try and get a degree apprenticeship. He refuses to do anything other than trade.
I was told, by him, that if he was at uni we would support him for 3 years so we should support him now when he is starting off trading. That was dismissed pretty quickly.
Dh has said that he must pay rent and he has for 2 months. I just know that this month he doesn't have any money so I expect he'll say he can't pay.
What on earth do we do?
Am I an old dinosaur that doesn't see new ways of making money?
It feels like he's in a cult and won't listen to reason.
I've said to DH that dss needs to get a job and do the trading around this or he needs to move out (not sure how that would be funded or enforced). I feel like dss needs to grow up.
DH is a bit soft on him and says stuff like he wants to support him and have a relationship with him. So not sure if I am being unreasonable.
Yes I know I'm the step mum and should butt out etc. but it's also my house he's living in and it's driving me mad.
As I know some of you will search back through my posts DSS persuaded DH into doing a bit of trading whilst he was out of work. He lost money and has stopped.