Advice from SEN parents

[Kellythekidd]

Sorry posting more so for traffic

my DC is 10 he had an appt with an educational psychologist that I paid for privately for suspected dyslexia- school
said he profiles for it but long wait list so I paid privately.

at the end of the appointment the EP asked me a few questions about him as a baby- he was a quiet baby had to go to speech therapy but could speak at 2 she said this was late

he also used to walk on his tip toes but so do I and lots of our family so it never stood out to me. She said she thinks he has autistic traits. I was a little taken a back as it had never been a question for me. Now I think I'm really zoning in on his behaviour.

He has never struggled in school, can get on easily with his work he is an average pupil not above average or below average. He doesn't have melt downs and isn't a stickler for routine. He can chat away to anyone but can kind of go off on a tangent and sometimes he doesn't make much sense in things he says at times for example when he tells a story he leaves parts out so to get a clear picture you have to ask him questions to fill in the blanks. He can get obsessive about things but never for long for example two months ago he took a notion for lego got a few sets, watched YouTube on building then after five weeks lego wasn't mentioned again- he does this regularly with 'hobbies' gets really into something then doesn't mention it again. He eats a good diet hates the smell of quavers crisps though and some spices. He doesn't like labels on his clothes so I cut them off. Socially he has a great group of friends, is always out and about with friends but he doesn't 'put himself out there' he has his core group and he's happy with that, he is quiet in a larger group of people he may not know that well. He doesn't like when people don't follow rules in football he gets really cross but eats sleeps and breathes football so I assumed it was just his passion made him cross.

i don't know if I am missing something. I have family members who are GPs and I myself am a teacher and we have never questioned it. Teachers in school have never mentioned it so I am beating myself up now. He is a very chatty child with adults he isn't shy at all he is more shy around kids but will chat away with an adult. So at the appt he basically told the EP his whole life story lol. She said he can get himself flustered with work but I have done his homework with him for five years and the only thing that flusters him is that he doesn't want to do his homework he wants to game or go out some nights but when he does he is fine.

I don't know if I should pursue this, the EP started telling me she has a child who she is sure has autism and she herself thinks she is on the spectrum but they haven't seeked out a diagnosis I left feeling quite confused. She then also mentioned that he may struggle
in school when hormones kick in so I'm just 🤯 what to do

It's quite possible to have autistic traits but not meet the threshold for a diagnosis. There are also many kids (although admittedly more often girls) who mask really successfully through primary and then the wheels fall off on transition to secondary. My DD was one of these, not diagnosed till 14 and I guarantee you if I went back and told her primary teachers she was autistic they'd be gobsmacked.

In many areas waiting lists for assessment are several years, so you might want to start looking into a referral now, or you could just wait and see - he might be fine, but the fact that you're aware of it as a possibility will help you potentially to pick up problems if they arise.

Thanks for your reply was honest gobsmacked at her even mentioning it, and now I'm worried I've missed something

With long waiting lists I would err on the side of getting him on the list. You can withdraw at any time, it's really not committing you to anything.

You'd be seeking an assessment, not a diagnosis. You don't have to "think he is autistic", you just have to have enough suspicion to warrant someone more knowledgeable than you looking into it.

Transition between schools is a really key trigger point. If you wait until then to kick off an assessment request there could be a lot of wasted time.

I'm not commenting on whether what you've written "sounds like autism" to me - I'm going purely on the fact that the EP raised the possibility.

I would trust the EP. They are experts. To be an EP takes about 8 years of education and training.

As a previous poster has said, your son may not meet the threshold for diagnosis, but acknowledging the possibility he is autistic means that you can educated yourself (and him) and be mindful of the ways in which autism may present in different circumstances and at different transition points in his life. This means that you can support him more effectively.