AIBU to be crazy upset over this?

[hotcrossbun5]

My partner and I are moving out of our city. I said to him, “alright, go to the fridge and clean it out- except for the milk” he double checked before going down, and I said “yeah, everything”
however, I didn’t realise there was a whole freaking jar of chilli’s in there- a special kind I have only found in one shop, which is what we need for our favourite dish. You cannot sub these out - and these are very distinct.
anyway, I got pretty upset- I mean, common sense, no? Would you throw out a full jar of produce, without triple checking? I know I wouldn’t ? I cannot afford to replace them either - there is £30 left in my account until Friday and I have £50+ of outgoings in the next few days. I feel pathetic for being SO upset, but I won’t be able to cook my favourite dinner now, as we’re moving to a very rural area without a shop that sells them.
feel like crying

I sometimes order crisps and other food from Australia, so I am pretty sure you can order online..😂

It’s just chillis and I say that as a chilli head. He double checked everything bar the milk and you said yes.

It’s the stress of moving though. It will be fine.

Then why didn’t you check yourself, would have taken 2 mins?

I'd be fucking raging that I was moving with a man too stupid to figure out how to clean out a fridge without additional instructions tbh. And who obviously never does the cooking or shopping else he would have known independently to just keep those to one side.

Ridiculous comment.

So you tell someone "Do this in this particular way". They then do what you asked them to do, the way you asked them to do it. You'd then be raging that they did what you asked them to do, rather than somehow reading your mind to know you actually wanted them to do something different.

That's flat-out insane.

Did this happen today? They’re just chillies, they’re in a jar - go dig them out of the bin! Even if it wasn’t today, if the bin men haven’t been - just get them back.

You might be moving rurally but you are going to occasionally leave the shire, right? So once you’ve been paid - get more.

There are some batshit threads today! OP, they are chillies. Calm down!

He did what you asked

YABU

No, because I don't live with someone so pathetic they don't know how to empty a fridge without instruction?! I wouldn't need to ask them. They'd just be doing it. And maybe keeping to the side something they knew was hard and expensive to source but that I'd maybe forgotten about.

Also - "raging" was hyperbole and more to do with the fact that - like I said - that I was moving with a man too stupid and/or lazy to know how to clear out a fridge or help with packing.

@TrishM80 for you too.

Not the point I know, but what are these special chillis and what was the meal you were going to make?
I'm intrigued.

Ok, but if you didn’t know what was in it why did you tell him to throw it all out?

Why would you tell him everything and then in the next breath say you’ve no idea what was in the fridge. How hard would it be to look?

Good grief. The aggression is off the scale. For someone else’s chilli’s too.

Your lack of perspective is alarming.

Just one of those things - no more his fault than yours, but annoying of course.

Can you get them online? If so you can order some once you’ve got a bit of spare cash.

This is not a problem unless you have had a charmed life up until now 🤷‍♀️

You said he double checked with you. He's not a mind reader and you have no right to hold it against him as he did what you asked. I understand that you haven't and really it's just a jar of chilli. Buy some from the Internet??

@hotcrossbun5 is it possible you are feeling particularly emotional about the move (not necessarily in a bad way). I don’t mean to minimise your feelings but honestly, this is not a problem worth crying over. You can get more. Life will go on.

I’m not going to comment about the food because even you know you’re being unreasonable about it.

So here’s some actionable advice.

1- Take a short break with your DH/Partner
2- Write a list of what needs done with detail as needed (clean out the fridge except for milk and chilies)
2A- if it’s something you want to personally take care of initial it likewise if it’s something he wants to do
2B- talk through it ask questions, discuss, whatever
2C- Hang the list in a prominent place
3-every hour or so, stop take a short break with your DH/Partner and review the list.

Now he isn’t waiting for you to tell him what’s next and the list rules the process. You both can get mad at the list if something goes wrong.

I'd like to know this too.

I've clearly said my comment was not about the chillis? Which you must know as you've responded to the comment where I said that?

How else would you describe someone completely able-bodied and neuro-typical who a) can't clear out a fridge without instruction, and b) isn't helping with packing up to move?

Apologies to the anonymous partner that OP is talking about if he's been triggered by my aggression of calling him pathetic and lazy.

Do this exactly as i tell you
I've done it exactly as you told me
What??? Why did you do exactly what i told you to do without triple checking with me before you did the thing in exactly the way i told you to??????????

There was a special thing in there that you were planning to cook your favourite meal with AFTER you had thrown out everything but the milk?

I get it’s annoying but it’s on you that you had forgotten all about them, not on him for following the instructions after checking with you that was what you meant.

If he had checked that you were sure about every item you’d be on here moaning about your DP being irritating and asking about everything.

Moving is stressful, any upset you are feeling is probably not about the chillies but about the whole process and how overwhelming it can get.