To not want a baby shower ?

[Michelle0808]

I really am not interested at all. I see these big celebrations on instagram etc and I think they look lovely but I really don’t fancy it. I don’t even fancy something small. I don’t feel the need to have one. AIBU?

So don't have one then 🤷‍♀️

I didn’t have one for any of mine. I didn’t fancy one so just didn’t bother.

A lot of MNers hate them with a passion as an American import etc so brace yourself for a whole lot of babyshower vitriol about grabbiness etc!

Honestly, I don't like them either. I'll attend others' but the idea of having one myself was just too awkward so I was never going to have one personally.

But I was the same about hen dos and big weddings...I was never going to feel comfortable having one so I did my own thing.

There's no need to have a baby shower. Don't feel pressurised into having one because lots of people do now. Just do your own thing.

My children are older so it wasn’t such a thing then, but you certainly don’t have to have one. I had a nice Thai meal with the nursery mums that I commuted with when I went off on Mat leave and we did that for other ladies in our commuting group but otherwise I didn’t do anything. An afternoon tea with some close friends / family would be a nice alternative but don’t feel pressured to do anything as it’s certainly not compulsory.

I don't see the problem OP

If you don't want one don't have one.

I'd never even heard of baby showers until a few years ago. No one I knew ever had them- aren't they another import to the UK from the USA? Didn't realise they were now seen as obligatory!

Didn't exist 25 years ago, managed just fine

Obviously you're not unreasonable to not want one. How is that even a question?

I'm currently pregnant with my first and I've told all my friends and family I don't want one. I've said if they want to do something small and intimate which I'm aware of I'm happy to do so (little afternoon tea date type thing) but I don't want a big gathering - just isn't for me and they've all been fine about it. X

YES! You're being grossly unreasonable.

You must have a baby shower even though you don't want one....

So don't have one..

Obviously YANBU.

However, if this is your first baby you're likely to find it difficult to meet up as regularly with your friends once the baby arrives as you'll have much less free time. So it's nice to see them before the baby comes. You can call it "lunch" or "dinner" rather than a "baby shower" if that makes you feel better about it, but it's an objectively nice thing to do. We did it in my friendship group before each baby, just the four of us and they became lovely reasons to take time out together.

Just don’t have one 🤷‍♀️

You don’t need to justify anything, just say you don’t want one.

Why would you be unreasonable?

Awful tacky events.

Thankfully all my friends feel the same so none of us have ever had one.

I didn't have one. I did go for brunch with my two closest female friends fairly near my due date though and that was nice.

No one cares with your second baby 🤣

YANBU not to want one. I didn't want one either.

YABU to have a problem with other people wanting them, unless someone is putting pressure on you to have one. (In which case just say no.)

So don't have one. I don't know anyone who did. It's not compulsory.

I don't understand. You don't want one, don't have one. They're not obligatory.

It’s not compulsory

I don't like the idea of celebrating before the baby is born didn't have one with either of mine