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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have bought dh to kids party

59 replies

Cleo2628 · 30/07/2024 00:00

Feel really awkward now.
6th birthday party at a house last weekend (very large house & garden so not cramped) invitation said drop off or stay but host invited all 3 of my children ages 6, just turned 4 & 1. Brought DH along as 1 year old can be a terror and one of the party activities needed 1:1 adult supervision, particularly for the 4 year old.

other guests there were a mixture of drop offs or had 1 parent (mum) stay. One solo dad. But all were 5/6 year olds with no siblings.

was it odd we came with DH? I feel extra awkward as I’ve text host today thank you etc and she hasn’t replied! But she is a bad texter!

OP posts:
JabbaTheBeachHut · 30/07/2024 00:02

You should've texted the host in the first place to check it was ok.

No harm done I'm sure, but possibly looked a bit piss takey.

novocaine4thesoul · 30/07/2024 00:04

Not at all, it is marvellous that you have been so thoughtful about your younger one. Don't worry about lack of text, she will really just be busy and a thank you does not need a "thank you for your thank you" and all that. x

sprigatito · 30/07/2024 00:04

It's fine, you were bringing three invited children so it made perfect sense for both parents to be there to supervise them. You say space wasn't an issue, so I highly doubt anyone even noticed! You're overthinking it Flowers

CelesteCunningham · 30/07/2024 00:06

If they invited all three of your DC then I think that's fine. If the others didn't have siblings invited, then are you friends with the parents? Because that also makes it ok in my book.

Two parents with a single 6yo would be weird, but an extra adult to handle young ones is just sensible.

fuhb · 30/07/2024 00:06

You did nothing wrong and definitely not piss taking. I'd of just assumed DH was there to supervise the 1yr old so you could have a chat to the other mums.

teksab · 30/07/2024 00:08

loads of my kids parties have had both mum and dad attend, and we've also gone as a couple to some too- it avoids the bickering of who has to take them if we both go, and it guarantees someone to talk to so I'm not sat in a corner. I'd definitely take the husband if I had 3 young kids!

Cherrysherbet · 30/07/2024 00:08

Not odd at all! I wouldn’t think anything of it if I was the host.
You’re overthinking it op. You sound like you’re doing a great job. Don’t worry.

theduchessofspork · 30/07/2024 00:09

It’s fine, no one would care.

CuriousGeorge80 · 30/07/2024 00:10

Totally fine and not even remotely a piss take (odd comment!) I wouldn’t worry at all.

Original poster
Cleo2628 · 30/07/2024 00:11

I’d hope it wasn’t piss taking - there were crudités and drinks out for adults but to be honest we barely touched any as we were talking it turns running after 1 year old.

I know the mum but dh has only met her briefly 2 or 3 times, we’ve both met the dad briefly a few times. Our 4 year olds go to nursery together but they also have 2 other children the same age as ours so whenever I meet up with the mum, all kids have “a friend” so I think that’s why she invited all 3. If that makes any difference!

OP posts:
sprigatito · 30/07/2024 00:13

Cleo2628 · 30/07/2024 00:11

I’d hope it wasn’t piss taking - there were crudités and drinks out for adults but to be honest we barely touched any as we were talking it turns running after 1 year old.

I know the mum but dh has only met her briefly 2 or 3 times, we’ve both met the dad briefly a few times. Our 4 year olds go to nursery together but they also have 2 other children the same age as ours so whenever I meet up with the mum, all kids have “a friend” so I think that’s why she invited all 3. If that makes any difference!

Edited

It wasn't remotely piss-taking - quite the opposite, you made sure your children were properly supervised. There's always one poster who feels the need to put the boot in.

MojoMoon · 30/07/2024 00:14

Why would it be a piss take?

Children's parties are awful - adults only attend because they have to. No-one is going to resent him for attending the party, they probably thought "poor sod, I bet he was hoping to get the afternoon off the kids".

mondaytosunday · 30/07/2024 00:35

Fine but if it was me I'd have dropped the older two and done something on my own either the one year old!

SwingTheMonkey · 30/07/2024 00:50

Can’t think why on earth it’d be piss taking? You had 3 kids there? Even if you didn’t, sometimes both parents like to attend - that’s certainly something I’ve experience having thrown lots of kids parties and have partaken in when dh and I both went along to a party. Total non issue.

Greytulips · 30/07/2024 00:58

I always disliked the extra parents rocking up like a family outing.
They wouldn’t be invited again.

I know very few woman who can’t be without their partner - stokes me as odd

Allie47 · 30/07/2024 01:15

I'd not give it a second thought, I often share the pain by making DH come along 🤷‍♀️

Kitkatcatflap · 30/07/2024 01:30

She opened the door and invited you all in - she had provided adult food and there was lots of space. You are overthinking. It was fine.

LoobyJoo · 30/07/2024 09:05

Greytulips · 30/07/2024 00:58

I always disliked the extra parents rocking up like a family outing.
They wouldn’t be invited again.

I know very few woman who can’t be without their partner - stokes me as odd

I'm sure they wouldn't want to be I voted again if these are your strange views.

Flibflobflibflob · 30/07/2024 09:15

I think it’s great when dads turn up or both parents come along. There are some dads I have never seen, not at school pick up/drop off not at parties etc. I’d be quite approving.

Honestly with three kids I’d be glad to have the extra parent, I would assume you were being sensible about looking after the small ones and would be glad to have you both.

Flibflobflibflob · 30/07/2024 09:16

Greytulips · 30/07/2024 00:58

I always disliked the extra parents rocking up like a family outing.
They wouldn’t be invited again.

I know very few woman who can’t be without their partner - stokes me as odd

I don’t get this, it often means that it’s the woman doing all the boring kid shit by herself.

LoobyJoo · 30/07/2024 10:10

@Greytulips *invited

PuttingDownRoots · 30/07/2024 10:13

Of she invited your 1yo as company for her 1ho she was probably happy that the 1yo was properly supervised!

Peonies12 · 30/07/2024 10:13

Greytulips · 30/07/2024 00:58

I always disliked the extra parents rocking up like a family outing.
They wouldn’t be invited again.

I know very few woman who can’t be without their partner - stokes me as odd

What a bizarre attitude, you must be very miserable in your life. OP, it's totally fine, especially given you were bringing 3 kids. Pretty sad that all the other parents who stayed were the mum.

SunshineFreckles01 · 30/07/2024 10:13

JabbaTheBeachHut · 30/07/2024 00:02

You should've texted the host in the first place to check it was ok.

No harm done I'm sure, but possibly looked a bit piss takey.

Why would it be piss-takey to bring another adult??

Another child, sure. But another adult to help supervise? Surely that's a good thing?

purplecorkheart · 30/07/2024 10:16

I would have thought if anything it would be a relief that there was not an unsupervised one year old running around the place.