Is daily life just a bit dull?

[manbanan]

And what to do about it?
I feel the daily grind and having a four year old where it sometimes feels most of my time is spent at work, doing kid stuff or housework/cooking/washing is very wearing, will it get easier when he starts school and I have two days 'off'?
DH and I lived abroad a few times and have travelled the world, I now feel shackled to a mortgage, horribly high bills compared to a few years ago and soft play type crap and can't shake this feeling of I don't know, malaise or regret? Should I rejoin the gym? Should I try anti depressants? Possibly peri at 41 and DH is a 50% parent but unlike me is more chilled and content, DS is very happy and very very loved-just to preempt any questions!
Or am I just a bit selfish to expect more from life at this stage? Or does everyone feel like this a bit? Am I depressed?
Don't have many friends either as we have been abroad a lot, doesn't help, generally other preschoolers mums where conversations are constantly interrupted by kids. DH is a teacher so travel is limited due to the insane cost in uk, otherwise I'd be away as much as poss. I massively struggle with the weather in England too, the last 18 months hasn't helped.
I feel so negative when I meet people that I fear I put them off.

Have you considered moving abroad whole your child is still young? We moved to South East Asia and LOVE our life there... no weekend is dull and always new things to see and try. If your husband is a teacher there are so many opportunities.

I wouldn't worry about putting people off, I'm a bit older at 44 and I love the honesty when people just admit things are a bit shit but let's laugh anyway and try and make the best of now.

I think the main thing is to try and not let the negative thoughts take too much root - its a time to try and look at the positives and appreciate blah blah but in all honesty it does help to cultivate a positive mindset at this age.

I'm just trying to hone in on a few things I love and go for quality and depth rather than doing it all. I don't have kids - full disclaimer - but I have observed it seems to get a bit more enjoyable after 5 as they become more like little people and really good company.

@Happytimes123456 how old were you/kids when you moved? Im keen to emigrate im 34 kids 7 and 5 wondering if we have missed the boat 🤣

Things will change so much when he starts school. Hang in there. Life has changed for the worse since covid but we just have to keep on keeping on. You'll meet a ton of parents when your DS starts school. That will help your social life no end. You're nearly there now :)

I am 33 and my children are 3 and 5. We have lived abroad for 2 years now and have just renewed our contract with our school (both teachers).
Definitely not too late for you!! There are so many expat families with kids similar age to yours (and older).
Best decision we have made!

Yep but we are tied into our mortgage for 5 years with heavy penalties, plus I've been out of teaching for 7 years now and also if we work abroad any longer we won't qualify for state pension and DH will lose more of his teachers pension.
Otherwise we would. We frequently look at it each winter. Currently in Spain debating it.

We also moved abroad. DC were 7 when we moved to the USA where we have since settled.
There is still the boring daily routine but it is all a bit different which stops it being as dull.

Ah thanks, that's good to hear. I do feel a bit isolated atm

I know, I'm just not sure I want to go back into teaching tbh. I have a very good wfh job in wealth management with a great employer. I'm not sure I'd have the energy for lots of kids now!

Good post thanks, I def need to be more positive.
It's v hard with a kid tho, they take a lot of energy and DS is generally an easy one (I think). Yep under 5s are not my preferred age tbh... he is, not other ones so much!

I can vouch for living abroad as a way to ward off the malaise. Life is not all a bed of roses, but the challenge of learning a new language and making new friends - plus raising bilingual kids - just makes it all so much more interesting. We spend 2 months in the UK over the summer and find that we appreciate family etc more too. Obviously it’s not an option for everyone and not a magic bullet, but I’d definitely encourage a move if you can make it work.

I will give it some thought, tho DH will take some persuading as he loves his school.
I'm guessing from your user name you live in Italy..as did we!

yes we do! In Lombardy. It’s not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but we wouldn’t change it. We’ve met so many expat teachers who work at the international/bilingual schools who absolutely love it here too. From what my friends say, mother tongue English speaking teachers are still in high demand too

@mylittleitalianhome
We met where we worked and married in northern Italy. I miss how even in the winter it was sunny pretty much every day. Except November which was like living in a cloud!

@manbanan You’re so right! Beautiful in January and Feb but SO grey in November and far too hot for us in July/August (hence the escape to the UK for summer)