School holidays

[Chloe8888]

AIBU to expect my partner (whos a teacher so has the whole 6 weeks hols off) to do a little more than usual in terms of childcare, housework, cooking etc? I work part time and when I am not at work I have the children. We are lucky that our parents look after the children rather than pay nursery fees. During the holidays my partner still expects the children to go to their grandparents (3 days a week) so he can "enjoy his holidays". AIBU to expect him to want to spend time with the children? I can't help but feel resentful of this when I get little time off for myself (maybe 1 day a year) whereas he considers it a right to have 3 days to himself a week.

Your last bit is the issue here. If grandparents are happy to keep having the kids in the school holidays that’s fine, but you need equal time off for yourself to enjoy. Sit him down and say we need to make a plan for when I’m getting my days off to enjoy as I wish so it’s fair.

Yep he is being unreasonable. I don't see why he shouldn't want to spend time with his children. Maybe 1 day a week but 3 days is just silly when he's literally at home.

Well thats fine... if he takes them out one day a week you don't work so you can enjoy a holiday too

He is absolutely taking the piss!!!!!

How do your parents/in laws feel about the childcare? Because if they are happy to do so I think you should leave that in place, and focus on yourself. The days you are not working can you go to stay with family/friends/book something? Leave your partner at home with the kids? or book annual leave and have some time with your partner

I actually did try and explain I needed time too but his response was I should have been a teacher!

Don't you also 'enjoy holidays' when you're off work?

What happens with regards to childcare when you are on annual leave?

If the children are still with their grandparents, my answer may be different than if they are with you all the time. It may also depend on whether that is your choice or whether you never get a break by default.

Kindly, though, teaching is incredibly mentally and physically draining. My children will soon be off and away with their father (divorced but splitting the holidays evenly) and I have to say I am looking forward to not being full-on for the first time in a very long time.

Given that there are two of you, YANBU to want him to help out more (especially when it's both of you at home together) but YABU if you resent his break if you get a bit of me-time and quiet time at other points in the year.

I'm a teacher and during term time, my daughter attends nursery 3 days a week. During the holidays, she attends once a week so I get a day off for my hobby.
3 days is a bit much though, especially if your grandparents are helping out. It's taking the piss a bit, on their behalf.

My annual leave is taken up with childcare if grandparents are away or if kids are sick. I may get one day off a year to myself.

Yep - this^

I'm surprised you feel the need to ask OP.

The words lazy and entitled spring to mind.Not the ideal qualities for a parent- or teacher for that matter.
And your / his parents need a break too!

In which case the inequality is an issue and YANBU. You need to talk this out and find a compromise that works for the two of you, with equal down-time.

He is taking the piss both out if you and the grandparents.

Does he not like spending time with his kids?? Most people (especially teachers) love the summer holidays so they can be with their dc undisturbed! One day a week at a push is nice to have time to yourself. He is being highly unreasonable and selfish!

Lazy shite

I’m also a teacher and like to enjoy my time off… with my children mostly 😂 which is why I had them. However, my husband works from home and I do make him step up too during the summer holidays because it’s such a long slog. He usually does every week day until 9am he starts work from home around 9.15) because they’re up so early! I’ll get up 6/7ish and do something for me such as go for a run, cycle, swim, do yoga in the garden, take the dog for a walk and buy a morning coffee out or even just lie in if I’ve had a drink the night before. On the odd occasion I’ve even had a morning bath. Then I take the children out somewhere, even to the library / park / free museums / nat trust / local forest / nosey round town/ beach - anywhere really so he can get some peace. In the afternoons I entertain them at home playing and I do tidy and make dinner too. When he’s finished work, we’re both on until bedtime and then we flop out. It’s a big job but we split it as best we can! You have to work as a team! He will also max out all his leave during my holidays across the year so we can do lots of family trips to break it up and he does half of everything during that time too. Sit down together and come up with a fair plan that you can both be happy with.

It's down the the grandparents to say no, to childcare during the holidays! Are they his parents?

I don’t see the issue if the grandparents want to spend time with the kids. I’m assuming that he’s with them for the other 2 days when they’re not with grandparents and the 2 days of the weekend. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for him not to want to spend 7 days a week with his kids (I defo don’t) However…

He should be using this time to give YOU a break! Why are you doing the same amount with the kids as when he’s not at work.

Make him have them for half of your designated days. Don’t ask, just make plans and tell him you’re going out.