To feel irritated by my sister!

[sickofsickness1]

I've name changed because I posted before about sister and outed myself 🙄

Background - she's 45 single lives alone and is a horsey person. Doesn't own one but hangs round stables helping out.

She's a massive hypochondriac. She got Covid 5 times apparently. Takes extended time off work at least once or twice a year. She recently had a couple episodes of being out of breath and now tells people she is asthmatic. She says she had IBS but was never diagnosed, her GP have her peppermint tablets after her 4th appointment about discomfort.

My issue is she will mention a problem. As a nurse I'll just tell her what I think. This week it's been a bite from a fly which made her had swell. I told her it didn't look swollen just a little red where the bit was. She insisted it was swollen and sore and rang two other friends who told her to go to A&E she probably had sepsis! So she did! Ended up sitting there for 9 hours and came away after they gave her a dose of piriton and some "cream for the itch." I was raging she had gone to A&E! Wtf are these "friends" thinking?? It was a nothing bite! No shine on the skin
No extended redness or circulation issues.

This happens all the time. She rings me with a terrible Illness if I don't give her the advice she thinks she needs she rings her mates. Who
Invariably tell her what she wants to hear!

I'm totally loosing patience, she is childish and
Is driving me mad. I'm loosing all patience.

AIBU?

(Oh god I fear I'm gonna get roasted for this)

Thing is it’s not something you can control, she asked your advice, you gave it, she chose to ignore it and spend 9 hours sitting in a&e so other than finding many different ways to eyeroll and say I told you so there’s nothing you can do, so don’t let it bother you.

@Billybagpuss I agree. I can't change this situation. I guess what I'm saying is, this is one of many many times this happens. She always finds something to "ail" her and appears to accept
The most dramatic form of advice!
WIBU to refuse advice or simply say " oh dear poor you?"

i get that its annoying for you but at the end of the day its a lot more distressing for her and she can't help it - i'd definitely say dont 'entertain' it any further by answering her questions as its reinforcing the behaviours/thoughts

You’re a nurse so you’re automatically going to be more chilled about health stuff whereas some people literally see everything to be a big deal!! My ds is a nurse too and unless someone was dying she doesn’t get why they’re making a big deal (Ps I used to think I was strong then realised I just rarely get sick and actually being sick turns me into a moany, pathetic, dramatic mess. I feel sorry for my dh and family now when I get sick😅😅😅)

Grey rock op. With some set replies

How that sounds sore
Ah that's terrible

Didn't you tell her to take antihistamines and apply cream? It's either health anxiety, something undiagnosed or a personality issue. Just give her standard advice how to treat it and if she pushes tell her to go to the walk in. You are getting over invested, it's upto her if she stays off work etc. Her friends have probably had enough so don't entertain her, so they just tell her what she wants to hear.

Could you just reply to each complaint oh what does friend x and friend y think what you should do?

Tbh some advice about health anxiety especially based about wasting her time for stuff she could have self treated with at home may be the way to go.
However as a retired nurse we do tend to be much more " oh that's fine" take some or do this than other people.
My dc alway quotes only got a plaster if " active bleeding" during his childhood.

She sounds lonely and maybe sees exaggerating minor health issues as a way to be more involved with people ?

I would just tell her to call 111 as she’s not taking on board anything you tell her.

Health anxiety ?

If you're a nurse you'll know that hypochondriasis is a psychiatric disorder.

And that if she finds this public thread, not only will you look as unprofessional to her as you do to everyone else reading it, but you'll probably make things worse for her mental health.

OP I totally get it. I’ve a relative like this, no health anxiety but a massive attention seeker 🙄 you’ll not change her. Just ignore.

It must be health anxiety because I don't think she waited 9hrs in A&E for shits and giggles.

I agree with a pp she sounds lonely, how has your relationship been since childhood? Any reason why she may be this anxious?

She has some underlying need for attention and possibly anxiety. You have two choices as I see it.
1: a gentle conversation with her about possible health anxiety - could go very badly!
2: a short "oh dear that sounds uncomfortable" then change the subject quickly. And ignore whatever she chooses to do next.

It's a shame because it could end up being the boy who cried wolf situation one day.

I went through a phase of hypochondria in my early twenties and probably was a pita to my family. I became hyper-fixated on illness because I didn’t feel confident in my life or in myself, felt overwhelmed and anxious, and although I really believed I was ill at the time, looking back I had no way of expressing that, so I focused on illness as a way of expressing it.

If you love your sister, sit down with her. Don’t be harsh. It’s understandable when you are a nurse and have seen so much suffering. But try and listen to her and say , “I don’t think you are ill, but I am worried about you, tell me what else is going on?”’

Gosh I can imagine how annoying and frustrating this is. It’s one of those ‘you can only control how you deal with it, you can’t control them’ situations. Personally I’d go down the poor you route and immediately change the conversation. Then if she persists say sorry I don’t know what you should do, gotta go someone’s at the door.