Exactly! You get ENDLESS comments about, “Is that really fair to them though? They’re going to be lonely. Don’t you want them to have a baby brother or sister to grow up with?”
No, because I was set on having only one child literally since I can remember (that’s all I wanted even when I was in fourth grade, for example).
It appears that if you have no kids you’re selfish (even though it’s much LESS selfish to admit you don’t feel ready to put another life ahead of your own - mentally, financially, psychologically). The same seems to apply to those only having one child although then you’re not so much selfish as you are “thoughtless” for “not caring about how lonely they’ll be.” And of course in today’s society, three or more always earns you the question: “but even if you CAN afford them, do you really have the time to devote to all of their emotional needs?” 🙄
People need to just live and let live, including your super judgmental friend. They especially need to keep their opinions to themselves concerning strangers, since she has no idea why they have no kids, or one, three, five (any number that isn’t “appropriate” to her, it seems).
I cannot understand why it’s always assumed that having two children will make them so that they’re never lonely, always have a playmate, and a friend for life. I grew up with one older sister (only by three years) and we had completely different friends as kids.
That didn’t change once we became teenagers, went to college, graduated, got jobs. If anything, we’ve always been in competition with one another, and I’ve hated it - because for most of our lives, even though I was the youngest, I was far more responsible.
The slightest mistake made my family ashamed of me, while it seemed like my sister could do anything she wanted and it would never make them change their opinion of her. Trust me, she’s done some pretty awful things - just never been caught. And she has a prestigious job that my parents basically bought for her (even though it was my dream career from a young age, and her third choice after graduating college!).
Things have gotten slightly better over the years, but she’s still very self-centered and very much still the favorite for reasons I don’t understand. I have seen this A LOT with others who grew up with only one brother or sister, especially if it’s two boys or two girls. Where more often than not, the two are constantly in competition with one another, end up despising each other, rather than being the best friends they were expected to become.
There will always be something that will be challenging when having children, no matter how many you decide to have - or not have. Sure, many kids are lucky and are incredibly close with their sibling(s). Not always the case, though.
Your friend must be very unhappy in life. A lot of the time people project their own insecurities onto others, which is what she might be doing in this case. If that’s not it, and you know her quite well in her private life to know that her two kids are both very happy and get on well, then I guarantee it’s something else. I’ve never known anyone who is truly happy with their lives to be so negative and judgmental of strangers or friends. It just doesn’t happen. When you’re happy with your own life, you don’t even think about criticizing others, because it doesn’t matter to you (unless it’s a friend who has personally confided in you that you’re worried about).
If you believe she is actually capable of being vulnerable and opening up to you, then maybe try to talk to her about why she feels the need to make so many snarky comments about families she doesn’t know. Especially when you have your own issues to contend with and really don’t need to hear so much negativity. If she refuses to acknowledge your discomfort or make an effort to stop, then I agree with the other posters who are urging you to ditch her.