Finally free from an abusive marriage, I got to the stage where I was excited to date.
The whole chatting bit was traumatic, so many very pornsick men out there who are really bold about very niche stuff. Not a pride but still not great. And then this guilt about the soon to be incels on there, whose profiles reek of loneliness :(.
I've met two men. One told me on date 4 he has 2 extra secret kids he didn't see,he was banned from driving and he'd been in prison ( and it wasn't an I've turned my life around kind of chat). And the second who I had actually a fair amount of hope in :( was this amazing lovely man with a public sector job, who was all about being transparent, was kind and fairly romantic...said he used coke very occasionally...then started saying how fatigued he was most days..and used coke twice in a week...so I feel like the fatigue is a needing stimulants kind of thing which isn't me at all and not something I van have in my life. Also I told him about a tax rebate I'd had that I was hoping to put some away towards a weekend away together..and the next day he told me about stuff he had in the pawn shop...which I felt was a hint ...he then used coke the next night..and that was also a red flag for me.
The third bit was wed talked a lot about boundaries and id explained that if I was having sex with someone for me that would be within an exclusive relationship...he was all on board for this in the chat and all like yep I'm going to make you mine...then after the next day was like 'well we are hanging out aren't we..' which was a bit crushing when we had a good time, and all before has been like I feel like this is destiny with you etc etc....so I called that to a close.
Next steps cat rescue right?
I can't bring myself to go back on match.