My ex was earning anywhere from £800-£3000 per week and I originally asked him for £700 per month for child support for our baby son.
He thought it was excessive and called me a goldigger, and so I reluctantly agreed to £500 per month.
When our son was born, he paid this and paid on time. However, he kept saying that he couldn't afford it and was trying to coerce me into accepting £200 per month instead. I refused, seeing as he was spending on rolexes and patek watches, and designer clothes, luxury holidays I thought this was a pisstake.
He did always pay, but the anxiety of not knowing if he would pay or not until the day was getting too much. He was emotionally and mentally abusive to me, so it wouldnt surprise me if he witheld money to get at me one month.
I later found out he had been staying in hotels every weekend with my 'best friend' and lavishing her with expensive gifts (and other women, LOL). So I decided to go to the CMS (I wanted to limit contact, get some stability and security, and possibly get more money from him) - they told me he will need to pay £1277 per month to me.
The next day I got a letter saying he actually pays 'nil' because he had quit his job the week before and he hadn't updated them. He had been threatening to do this to not have to pay me. Didnt think he would actually do it though.
Now he is accusing me of being greedy, a goldigger and selfish because I went to the CMS even though we had an agreement. He then said he will give me £200 per month if I drop the CMS case, or I will get nothing from him if I carry on with CMS.
I told him to shove it and I will stick with CMS even if it means I get nothing. I refuse to be controlled by him anymore. And also, once he does get a job, he will have to pay and it will likely be more than £200. I told him its his son he is spiting, and he told me that no, our son will be fine because he knows I will do what I can to make ends meet and he is doing it to spite me.
So, he has purposely left me in a position where I will likely need to get a job even though Im on maternity leave to be able to support our son, even though he has stacks and stacks of cash and savings. He is on a career break with no end date at the moment, thats how much money hes got. I have made the FIU aware, and sent all the evidence including the abusive texts.
He is a textbook narcissist and he always gets under my skin and makes me feel unreasonable. I feel like a horrible person for the decision I made, but logically, I know its for the best.
I'm so tempted to cut contact with his son until he pays (which I won't do because my son adores him), because why should he get to enjoy a child that he chooses not provide for out of spite for his mother? He is also incredibly abusive and nasty to me.
How can this person even sleep at night??
My question is, was I unreasonable to go through the CMS?
And had anyone had any success with the FIU within CMS?