How long would you live with a kitchen like this?

[Pinkstuffs]

How long would you live with a kitchen like this?

You have air fryer, microwave and 2 ring hob but no surface space. Food is stored in a plastic box. Plates etc in makeshift drawers. Fridge as normal. No oven.

There is ongoing work most weekends so the kitchen is difficult to keep clean. No dining space. No heating in winter. Obviously no plaster flooring etc.

Edited to add, you have a small baby who is bottle fed.

Help me understand if IABU!

I lived like that for 3 months when pregnant. Would absolutely not agree to it continuing unless unavoidable once baby arrived, and especially with bottle feeding and needing surfaces. It's not unavoidable in your case as you can afford to buy in help!
I'd also be furious with DH for not giving me a break at weekends from parenting, or indeed just actually wanting to spend time with his child. Change this asap OP otherwise he'll lack confidence dealing with the baby, say they prefer you, have to ask you how to make a bottle, not notice nappy needs changing etc, and this will be the status quo for the child's whole life, with mum as default parent.

Just buy in help or get ready-made units that fit in with whatever he has done. You said you can afford it and he is taking the piss both on the length of the job and making you be a lone parent. Seems like he would rather stretch out the DIY than do any parenting.

We survived with a slow cooked, micro, electric kettle and mini fridge on a table while our kitchen was done for about 6 weeks. Washing up in the bathroom sink was the hardest part. We had no DC then and it was miserable enough.
You need to put your foot down with your DH to prioritise finishing your kitchen.

Our next door neighbour hasn't had a kitchen since September 2020,he's got a microwave in the living room and he eats a LOT of pizzas.

Time to call in the professionals.

My kitchen doesn’t have any heating…

can you not use a folding table for a workspace?

what’s the plan - 10 months is a loooong time if you don’t have a rough end date.

Why on earth has it taken your DH 10 months and the kitchen is still not finished? You need to call in a professional as DH is obviously not up to the job.

I went 4 weeks with no kitchen and 2 small children. It was hell. There is no way I would put up with 10 months. Can you move to your parents/other family to get a break from this shit?

And as for your DH not spending any time with you or his baby, that really is a whole other problem.

A bit different, but we have lived in a three bedroom terrace with only the below for 1 year:

-a small garden table + two garden chairs (dining room)
-a bed (bedroom)
-a desk and office chair (office)

There is a built in wardrobe in the bedroom and a built in cupboard in the dining room. Plus kitchen and bathroom. I’m also 6 months pregnant. The reason was we got married, then pregnant and have been very busy. My husband and I had an argument where he said we should get someone in to paint. I said I could do it. I finally realised he was right.

So my response is: I do think get someone in asap to finish, asap. It’s effecting your life a lot and you need time to rest, relax and enjoy with your baby and husband. Make sure you find someone good and use checkatrader. I hope it’s finished soon!! xx

It wouldn’t be pleasant, but I think with organisation and a routine of appropriate recipes, I could probably handle it for 6-8 months.

Realise it’s challenging. But if I could afford to buy a family home, I’d happily live in a makeshift kitchen for years, just to escape the mercy of landlords.

Could you not get a cooker and camping table on Gumtree?

@Pinkstuffs

i can't answer that really as I've been living with my sub standard kitchen for years now.

But my situation is different to yours.

in your situation I'd be telling your DH that this weekend he makes your kitchen more functional (work tops at least) or you'll be calling tradespeople next eeek. Tell him they don't have to be pretty, just functional.

then have a discussion about the priority of DIY, What's he doing that's more important than the kitchen?

Discuss if he can't get on with other areas, but you get trades in to do the kitchen? Etc etc

most important is that you talk about it xx

sorry bit confused whhat has dh been doing tis whole time

It’s really time to call in help. When it gets to the point dh can’t spend any time with child or as family. You will all regret it, when your exhausted from baby 7 days a week with no help, and kitchen is finished but child is now 2 years and doesn’t realise dh is their dad as he’s barely helped.

You are a saint.

I'd have unilaterally hired builders and bought a kitchen in month 7 of the pregnancy.

You cannot go through winter with no heating and a baby.

I'm amazed you dont have pnd or similar given you have no breaks or support and are living in a building site.
This is going to ruin your mat leave.

We had heating and kitchen done on my first mat leave it was 3 weeks stsrt to finish but we found bad surprises and did flooring.

Take action. Now. today.

DH is doing most work himself and he is more than capable but it’s a big task. Without going into too much detail it has involved knocking down wall, taking kitchen back to brick, insulating etc and we’ve uncovered a few things on the way which have slowed progress.

He obviously works in the week then at weekends I’m painfully aware every minute I ask him to help with baby delays the finish line! So it’s difficult especially as we don’t have much family nearby who can help.

He does watch grand designs etc and see families living through massive renos with babies and think it’s ok for us as they can do it which is why I’m not sure if I just need to toughen up! The mess, dirt, having stuff everywhere really stresses me out though.

Yeah but 10 friggin months woman !!

get some perspective

you have the money, you want the kitchen, you want to spend time together - invest now in getting that done

his ego will have to survive, and perhaps he will have to, you know, participate in family life?

We did it for about three months whilst our extension/kitchen was being done. Didn't have a sink either, had to wash up in the bath. Two kids but aged 10ish, so it must be harder with a baby OP.

I did think we'd have more takeaways but it's surprising what you can make with a couple of hob rings and a microwave. We didn't have an air fryer at the time, had a slow cooker though.

It doesn’t matter that people on TV cope with living in a tip. You are struggling to cope with it and he is being selfish expecting you to suck it up. Your DH doesn’t care enough about you or his child to finish the kitchen quickly. Why on earth isn’t he spending as much time as possible with the baby instead of doing DIY? He is missing out on seeing his child grow up and leaving you as the default parent. It’s completely unacceptable.

In your situation, I would be telling DH that you look for immediate help from professional tradesmen or you will be moving out with the baby.

My ex put a kitchen in his house. He was a self employed joiner so great he was capable. Just wish he had got someone to do the plumbing. He kept getting the wrong part. So took a few days off work until it was done. Did my head in.

I'd be fine long-term with that. Wouldn't need the air-fryer either. But I hate cooking and can live very simply.

How big is the kitchen? We did ours before Christmas, took down a wall, took the old kitchen out, laid a new floor and put a new one in. We worked every evening and weekends to get it finished, I certainly couldn't live with a never ending project.

people on tv? yea its an hour show but renovation takes 2 years they obviously dont show the crap they go through

tell him youre paying someone to help and thats that

Ive done this a lot.Its really hard but worth it in long run.
2 years

People do renovations with babies, but probably also have a lot of help from family/live in a caravan whilst work is carried out/ split up before the house is finished

We did our kitchen a few years ago.
We knocked through into the dining room so it was a big job but the whole thing took a few weeks.
We lived without an oven or any cabinets for about 3-4 weeks. Cooking wise we managed with air fryer, george grill and microwave, it was manageable but I wouldn't want to do it for a longer period.
The storage was the bigger issue as we had everything stacked on ikea units in the living room at one point!