To not want statue in my garden?

[labluemer]

Awkward one.

My brother came to stay with us and his cat was killed on the road near our house. He was distraught and I was upset too, she was a lovely cat.

However she was buried in our garden … he’s bought a hideous statue to act as a thing to remember her and wants to put photos on it. Is it really heartless if I say no? It’s just really not to my taste at all 😩

Can you suggest a plant for at your house and that he puts the statue at his as a memorial there?

Let him have it for now and when he goes explain it got blown away in a strong gust of wind.

However she was buried in our garden

Could I ask please, why was she buried in your garden? When my cat was found nearby my house, I had to drive his corpse back in my car on a hot day.

Once you let his cat be buried in your garden, you open up this possibility, albeit I think you should also refuse the statue. YABU

Yes what are the accommodation plans, can he take the statue with him and you plant a nice perennial there instead?

God bless Mittens but I’d be exhuming and relocating the body…
It’s a no from me

A visiting cat was let into your garden?

Completely reasonable to say no. Or agree but quietly remove a few weeks later. Surely he’s not expecting to make regular visits to a permanent memorial to a cat in your garden? Does he not have his own place?

We had pets buried in the garden growing up, they had daffodil bulbs planted on top, or a rose bush - you could suggest that as a less obtrusive memorial?

I'm presuming your brother doesn't have a garden or his is not suitable for burying pets. When ours have died and been buried, we've always planted something nice and long lasting on top; honeysuckle, roses, philadelphus - lovely scents in the summer! Why not recommend that he plants a tree in memory of his cat rather than have a statue (which you won't be able to take if you move house)?

I am an absolute cat lover and am very sorry. But this sounds like the plot from an episode of Friday Night Dinner.

'Brother, Topsy was lovely and we didn't mind her resting place being in our garden but we don't want a memorial statue in our garden.'

As a compromise you could agree to a plant such as a pussy willow.

https://www.gardeningexpress.co.uk/kilmarnock-willow-patio-standard-salix-caprea-weeping-pussy-willow-tree?ff=10&fp=15455&gadsource=1&gbraid=0AAAAABgPs9w2nmoPioM4P41rHZMWIa7dd&gclid=CjwKCAjw2Je1BhAgEiwAp3KY7-Fy9ilCYiPGo43vVx-JOoge3r-OMZXZ-Ok9L5cNVqC679gXLJjOhoCTB4QAvDDBwE

There is no way a cat that’s been run over would have been in a fit state for taking far. I don’t want to be graphic but seriously …

Does he not see that it would be unreasonable to put something in your garden that you'll therefore see on a daily basis but possibly don't want there? I agree with PP, suggest he puts the statue in his own place when he gets one, and you could plant something there to commemorate the cat instead? Whatever it is, it's your garden and should be something you don't mind - at the very least - seeing daily.

I understand he's grieving but he should have thought before he bought that he needed to pass any memorial past you.

You obviously put the remains in a box, wrap up if necessary, presumably you did that to get it to your garden and bury it?

When my DB bought his house there was a memorial to a dog in the garden, part of the sale was that they would leave it there for some number of years, which he did.

I don't think it's heartless to say no, and I'm a huge animal lover. Tell him you are more than happy (assuming you are ) to plant a rose bush or something to mark the grave but not the statue. He should have checked first but obviously he was terribly upset. Is it an expensive statue?

That would have been a perfect end for Wilson!

There's one in my garden too, I forget about it all the time until I happen to be closely passing the spot , if you didn't know it was there you wouldn't notice it. The previous owners did point it out

This is why I've always had my dogs cremated - so I don't end up leaving them somewhere and moving!

@twomanyfrogsinabox please don’t make me spell out the gory details for you (fgs)