I have a two sisters, one very close in age (A) and the other 5 years younger (B).
Sister A I am currently not really speaking to, we have done this on and off for years but this time I feel it is likely to be more permanent, for a variety of reasons too long to go into. Basically there is so much water under the bridge, we cannot seem to see eye to eye and many incidents that I feel are very screwed up - from her end.
At family gatherings I am not rude but keep my distance and only speak with her if spoken to. She has removed herself from the family WhatsApp (not said but implied due to me) and ‘de-friended’ me on Facebook. She has text mutual friends declining invites to things citing ‘because I blank her’. Not true by the way, we equally do not really speak to one another, also worth noting is I have issue with my ears and cannot always hear everything, which she knows about.
Sister B I get on with much better, they also get on with each other but have also had fall outs. Sister B recently spoke to me about how much this is upsetting our mum, which I understand and feel bad about but ultimately it’s no longer enough to keep upsetting myself trying to make this relationship with sister A work.
I read somewhere that if a relationship make you feel bad most of time, whether it’s that persons intention or not, then it is better to step away. I related a lot to it. Since keeping minimal contact my life is much more peaceful and drama free.
But I know it continues to hurt my mum and with sister B’s mention of it I am feeling selfish