To Write a Romance Novel with No Sex

[Turducken]

I'm writing a novel about dating. I was advised to read other novels to get a feel for what people like to read and there seems to be a lot of sex, which is obviously fine, but as my heroine is new to the dating game, she's not rushing into anything. However, it seems that in books and TV, the characters jump into physical relationships really early, so I'm wondering if I'm just old fashioned and the majority of people do have one night stands or early sexual encounters and if I don't write my character like this, it will seem unrealistic and possibly a bit dull! Do you/ would you potentially enjoy a story where the main character has encounters but doesn't jump into bed with anyone? Are single people in real life really having that much sex?

There’s a lot of very popular romance novels without sex. Think Beth O’Leary.

I will check her out, thank you.

Are single people in real life really having that much sex?

No, but neither are they piloting space ships or time travelling. Fiction is just that.

Is the idea that it's a series of books? Or is it one book with a few first dates. What's the hook?

didn't barbara cartland make a pretty penny doing this? dictating a sex free romance novel on a weekly basis.

there will defo be a big market for it.

Some of my favourite books have 'romances' which take forever to get going (if at all!), you are hoping they just realise that yep - together they would be perfect, just ask her out for goodness sake!, but something gets in the way. Sometimes they don't get together at all even and just remain acquaintances...but then there could be a second book! :)

The genre is called 'sweet romance' and it's very popular and sells well. You just have to market it correctly so those looking to have a bit of spice won't be ah...disappointed.

Do Harlequin and Mills and Boon include sex? They didn't use to.

One book with a few first dates, I haven't finished writing the outline yet, so I'm not sure entirely where it's going but I'm hoping it might be funny. Fair point about the spacemen

Oh, I love that! Had no idea it was a genre in its own right, I feel a bit better now 😆

I love that idea! 😃

OP I suggest you read extensively in the genre you’re hoping to write in. You’ll need comparable titles too when you start to querying if you’re hoping to find an agent and go down the traditional publishing route.

I read a lot, all genres, I work in a library. Romance books are fab and do not need to include sex scenes. I know certain readers will just skip those bits if they aren't well written, and I think that the value of a slow build romance should never be underestimated, stories like that can be gripping. You are in charge, write whatever suits you.

There are different genres of romance books. I read fantasy novels that sometimes have a romance element. I guess they are calling them romantasy. I’m personally there for the dragons.

romance primarily gets split into spicy and non-spicy these days. You don’t have to write explicit literature, even if your characters do eventually end up in romantic or sexual situations.

there is a genre known as slow-burn. People enjoy watching romantic tension build. The little glances. The quick touch of hands. The obstacle to being together that must be overcome.

the key is compelling characters and a good story arc. It’s not going to be smut that sells. That is available for free online. You just need to go to ao3

Thank you, I will now I know what it's called 😆 It seems I know even less than I thought, but I guess every one has to start somewhere

Good luck OP, I relate more to this as I think a lot of women would. But sex always gets in the way.

Thank you, that's how I feel too!

There's a a market for everything. I write sweet rom coms with no on the page sex, and they sell fine.

You just need to know who's reading them and market accordingly.

Also, if and when your characters do finally get it together, remember that you don't have to be explicit. A few hints, and the reader will fill in the gaps.