Page 3 | I have adopted a kitten - my cat isn't happy

Stickytoffeepudding6 · 2024-07-27T19:19:15+00:00

I feel sick writing this. I have adopted a kitten today and she hissed at my cat. My cat then hissed back and became upset. I put the kitten in another room. My cat then struck me when I tried to comfort her. She's proceeded to become really unhappy. I'm so upset I've upset my cat. What do I do?

RainbowZebraWarrior · 29/07/2024 07:51

Stickytoffeepudding6 · 29/07/2024 07:47

Thanks guys. I really appreciate it. I managed to get some sleep last night so feel bit more clear and I do think it was right decision

Pleased youre feeling a little better. Can I also just add that I feel the rescue was potentially at fault here. The ones I've used in the past, insist on a little familiarisation visit first (and also go with you very thoroughly regarding any existing cats / whether the one up for rehoming may cause issue / need to be kept as a lone cat / issues with children etc)

Mondaysocial · 29/07/2024 07:56

My cat tried to attack a kitten in her house ( visiting with a friend). She’d have probably killed it if she’d been alone with it. And she wasn’t a big or normally aggressive cat.

You need to make sure that kitten is safe.

HeBeaverandSheBeaver · 29/07/2024 08:08

It will be Fine

But as others said you have to have a lot of patience and allow a lot of time. Slowest is key. It can't be rushed.

Scent exchange for a week
Then small time spent in a neutral room if poss

Then when the growls stop let them come as they like

Expect a few scraps. This is normal and will establish that resident cat is in charge.
As Long as no blood drawn it's fine

I've introduced

A bonded pair of
Kittens to my old girl who lost her Bond

A dog to the kittens at age 4
They were not happy and told
Him who was in charge.
They are friends
Now.

And a new kitten to the dog and Pair of adult cats That was pretty easy that time.

So I have lots
Of experience

The hissing and growling sounds scary
But it's just warning talk

Also the feliway is very helpful

LlynTegid · 29/07/2024 08:10

I read your update, hope you are feeling better soon.

HeBeaverandSheBeaver · 29/07/2024 08:13

Oops sorry. Only just seen the update.

The new kitten will find a family again. Kittens are easy to rehome but it's a shame for you.

I'm not being glib here btw. I know animals are for life etc. I foster for a cat charity but we have space to keep them self contained.

Original poster

Stickytoffeepudding6 · 29/07/2024 08:48

Mondaysocial · 29/07/2024 07:56

My cat tried to attack a kitten in her house ( visiting with a friend). She’d have probably killed it if she’d been alone with it. And she wasn’t a big or normally aggressive cat.

You need to make sure that kitten is safe.

He is. He's back with his foster family.

I made the situation worse as I panicked and stressed when my cat started being distressed. I fueled her feelings.

It's done now. Both cats are OK and safe. I'm just sad and sick with flu/covid/whatever it is.

OP posts:

whenemmafallsinlove · 29/07/2024 12:33

I think you've done the right thing. I do know how distressing it is. I was so sad too, I loved the kitten but I couldn't bear my old girls distress. The rescue were quite arsey with me too at first. They thought we should give it longer but I knew that would make it worse for all of us especially the kitten who would get used to our home. When they actually collected him they were very nice and I had the impression that the person collecting hadn't known how old our cat was. They changed their posts after that. It had always aid they wanted another cat for a lone kitten to bond with. Now it says a cat young enough to bond with a kitten and I suspect if somebody like me applies for a home check now they are advised no. Cats just don't always like living with cats. It's a hard truth.
Babies are totally different op. She will be fascinated and also thrilled you buy baby stuff for her to lie on......

Original poster

Stickytoffeepudding6 · 29/07/2024 20:25

whenemmafallsinlove · 29/07/2024 12:33

I think you've done the right thing. I do know how distressing it is. I was so sad too, I loved the kitten but I couldn't bear my old girls distress. The rescue were quite arsey with me too at first. They thought we should give it longer but I knew that would make it worse for all of us especially the kitten who would get used to our home. When they actually collected him they were very nice and I had the impression that the person collecting hadn't known how old our cat was. They changed their posts after that. It had always aid they wanted another cat for a lone kitten to bond with. Now it says a cat young enough to bond with a kitten and I suspect if somebody like me applies for a home check now they are advised no. Cats just don't always like living with cats. It's a hard truth.
Babies are totally different op. She will be fascinated and also thrilled you buy baby stuff for her to lie on......

Thanks so much. You've really made me feel better. I've been upset again today quite a bit but I'm putting it down to hormones an exhaustion with the lergy I've had.

I've not told everyone that I returned him. Don't want to be judged and feel so embarrassed.

My girl has had a flare up of her condition which will be stress so I really do think/know I was right.

Do you still have your cat?

OP posts:

pointythings · 29/07/2024 20:37

If it isn't working, it isn't working and you have absolutely done the right thing for both your cats.

Geminijust · 30/07/2024 07:40

I'm really sorry to hear how this turned out but sounds like you've done the right thing. It's also got me a bit worried as I've just applied to the RSPCA for a kitten to keep my 7 year old Tom company (he lost his sister two months ago and seems so sad & lonely). May I ask if your girl had always been an only cat or had lived happily with another cat in the past?

Itsallabouttea · 30/07/2024 08:16

@Geminijust we got a 1 year old female this year to go with our six year old male who had always been an only cat. She growled at him for the first two weeks but now they're absolutely fine and get on well. Just take the introduction slowly and they should be fine 🙂

Original poster

Stickytoffeepudding6 · 30/07/2024 15:38

Geminijust · 30/07/2024 07:40

I'm really sorry to hear how this turned out but sounds like you've done the right thing. It's also got me a bit worried as I've just applied to the RSPCA for a kitten to keep my 7 year old Tom company (he lost his sister two months ago and seems so sad & lonely). May I ask if your girl had always been an only cat or had lived happily with another cat in the past?

My cat has always been an only cat.

However, she doesn't like absolutely anyone except me and my partner. So I think it was silly even to think of getting another one now.

What I mean is don't base your experience on mine.

Also I made it worse by going to pieces as it stressed her out more. I completely panicked when saw state of her as her illness can be life threatening.

Slow and steady and you will be grand. Fingers crossed for you. All cats are such blessings and joys.

OP posts:

whenemmafallsinlove · 01/08/2024 11:50

@Stickytoffeepudding6 yes we do. She had always been an only cat too. I was furious with myself at first, it was my idea and I felt so stupid. But you have to consciously let that go. Nobody does this intending a bad outcome. I told people that Mia was suffering and that was that for me. People were very kind, disappointed for us but understanding.

whenemmafallsinlove · 01/08/2024 11:51

Mia being our older cat

Seaglassandchampagne · 01/08/2024 11:55

Cats really don’t like friends unless they’re bonded from a young age, but it is only day one so you might be able to resolve it. Keep the kitten shut in one room for a few days so they can get used to each other’s scent through the door. Then start letting them interact under supervision, gradually increasing this to build up tolerance.

Make sure you have plenty of resources in different locations - food and water in two different rooms and if you use litter trays you need at least 3 in 3 different places for two cats.

They are unlikely ever to be best friends but if you make sure they have enough resources and introduce them slowly over time they will most likely be able to rub along together.

Where did you rescue the kitten from? They should have given you advice on introducing it to a house where there is already a cat.

Seaglassandchampagne · 01/08/2024 11:57

Sorry, just saw you have surrendered the kitten - honestly for the best and don’t beat yourself up. The rescue should have given you a lot more advice and warnings about adding a kitten to a household with a cat already in residence, it very often doesn’t go well.

Sounds like you have done the sensible thing.

Original poster

Stickytoffeepudding6 · 01/08/2024 22:20

Seaglassandchampagne · 01/08/2024 11:57

Sorry, just saw you have surrendered the kitten - honestly for the best and don’t beat yourself up. The rescue should have given you a lot more advice and warnings about adding a kitten to a household with a cat already in residence, it very often doesn’t go well.

Sounds like you have done the sensible thing.

I know. I just hate myself for it.

Plus the rescue made me feel worse.

OP posts:

Excited101 · 01/08/2024 22:37

Animal rescue centres are under a stupid amount of ongoing strain, and have been for years now. You wouldn’t believe it unless you were working/volunteering at one.

No, they shouldn’t have shouted at you. But I can see why they would have been frustrated. I hope your cat calms down. It sounds like she doesn’t really need another cat around.

InterrudelyUpted · 01/08/2024 22:46

OP i’m really sorry, it sounds like this was really tough for you.
With the greatest of love and respect, you sound very fragile right now. Probably wasn’t a great idea to try and introduce a kitten into the family if you are quite so easily upset, to put it bluntly it’s a bit concerning that you to go to pieces because your cat gets upset, even if you have had a cold or your period is coming…
And I wouldn’t have even said anything except you say you’re TTC - Can I gently suggest you invest in some support and counselling to help you be more resilient with the far greater challenges that a baby would bring? You haven’t said anything about what your mum or your family or your friends think about your ability to cope with stress and change right now, can you talk to them and maybe draw some strength from them and get some advice… Really hope you are well because you will need to be a bit stronger 💐💐

MrsSkylerWhite · 01/08/2024 22:54

Very early days. They’ll adapt.

Original poster

Stickytoffeepudding6 · 05/08/2024 02:48

InterrudelyUpted · 01/08/2024 22:46

OP i’m really sorry, it sounds like this was really tough for you.
With the greatest of love and respect, you sound very fragile right now. Probably wasn’t a great idea to try and introduce a kitten into the family if you are quite so easily upset, to put it bluntly it’s a bit concerning that you to go to pieces because your cat gets upset, even if you have had a cold or your period is coming…
And I wouldn’t have even said anything except you say you’re TTC - Can I gently suggest you invest in some support and counselling to help you be more resilient with the far greater challenges that a baby would bring? You haven’t said anything about what your mum or your family or your friends think about your ability to cope with stress and change right now, can you talk to them and maybe draw some strength from them and get some advice… Really hope you are well because you will need to be a bit stronger 💐💐

Thank you for your post.

I am bit fragile day to day. I think my medication should be looked at and possibly upping.

At the time I was very ill with flu/covid (didn't do a covid test so not sure.) I regret not asking to collect him a week later.

Lesson learnt and training my cat to start.

Everyone one except myself thought getting another cat as a bad idea.

OP posts:

DreamTheMoors · 05/08/2024 03:05

First, have a talk with your cat. Explain that he’s the eldest and will always be your first love. You’ve loved him the longest and that will never change.
Explain that this little orphan needs love and a helping paw to get settled in his new home and you need his cat-operation.
Make sure you ask please.
Make sure to give the cheese.
Second, talk to the orphan and explain that he’s arriving into another baby’s home, and he needs to understand that he can’t go around spitting and hissing in somebody else’s house.
Tell him you love they tiny feets and they tiny teefs and make sure to give the cheese.
Hope this helps, OP.

Original poster

Stickytoffeepudding6 · 05/08/2024 22:09

DreamTheMoors · 05/08/2024 03:05

First, have a talk with your cat. Explain that he’s the eldest and will always be your first love. You’ve loved him the longest and that will never change.
Explain that this little orphan needs love and a helping paw to get settled in his new home and you need his cat-operation.
Make sure you ask please.
Make sure to give the cheese.
Second, talk to the orphan and explain that he’s arriving into another baby’s home, and he needs to understand that he can’t go around spitting and hissing in somebody else’s house.
Tell him you love they tiny feets and they tiny teefs and make sure to give the cheese.
Hope this helps, OP.

Aw love your reply! Thank you!

I gave him back though.

OP posts: