Page 2 | To keep hold of footballs until they're collected

Tricho · 2024-07-27T17:00:36+00:00

Ndn has children that enjoy a kicksbout against our shared fence - I've raised this many times as the noise travels right through my house and tbh renders sitting out there impossible- tbh I find this utterly selfish because we'd all like to enjoy our gardens on nice days! Have not got much back by way of support and now we're in the summer hols it's gone crazy. I have had 8 balls (big heavy cased type) kicked over in the past week inckuding 5 in one day- with the latest arriving just now after hours of incessant kicking. My garden is miniscule due to an extension (about a third of the size of hers) and there are things in it that absolutely will ger broken one day by these balls (garden furniture, bbq, lights etc) not to mention myself if I'm out there I've previously thrown them back but I've absolutely had it now and have been storing them in my shed awaiting collection Thought process being A) if they have to repeatedly come and collect they'll get sick of it and kick the ball elsewhere (god forbid maybe even the other way towards their own house) B) will give me a chance to converse again about how disruptive it is and the risk to my property C) it gives me a bit of peace! As yet no ones come to collect - I have every intention of giving back on collection but tbh I'm done with their selfishness and disregard for my peace and property

Original poster

Tricho · 27/07/2024 19:15

itainthalfhot · 27/07/2024 19:05

and can't you tell the summer holidays are here... all these posts about kids making a noise in their back garden really make me sick.

kids are kids and we were all one once.. why don't you act like a fully grown adult and instead and being petty and hanging on to the balls or letting them down or doing whatever else has been suggested why don't you have an actual conversation with the parents?

Also, a conversation was my first action, and I've had several since. Nothings changed so my tactics have to - try reading again?

OP posts:

Sunlime · 27/07/2024 19:15

Perfectly reasonable to keep them until they come round and ask for them back, it's not stealing (it would be different perhaps if they asked nicely and you said no and popped them all!).

itainthalfhot · 27/07/2024 19:15

Tricho · 27/07/2024 19:14

I agree! Like I said previously noise doesn't bother me. In fact I love to hear kids playing.

But a football against a fence is anti social, my own mother personally drew a line at anything I did in our garden that could spoil neighbours enjoying their own - including this.

Also cased footballs potentially causing damage isn't just kids being kids, it's selfish and inconsiderate, as I suspect you are in your day to day life

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there you go, a nice polite friendly chat with the neighbours should sort your issue out.

i assume its YOUR fence and not THEIR fence?

ASimpleLampoon · 27/07/2024 19:16

They should go out to a park to m co around. Toddlers and infants playing ball is understandable but if theyre old enough to bother they are old enough to go elsewhere.

NotKeepingQuiet · 27/07/2024 19:17

We had NDNs’ children and adult friends smashing footballs into a brand new fence we’d been asked to pay £hundreds towards. Money comes easily to them we concluded as they weren’t bothered about the damage. We were.
When the doorbell rang we answered to sullen children whose only utterance was “Our balls’s in your garden.” No sorry, would you mind, etc.
Would they kick the balls the other way, please, we asked. “No. They go over into that garden too.” (In fact it was their besties’ garden and we very much doubted their assertion.)
One day, quite by chance, I hit on the answer. As I lobbed a ball back over the fence, I must have narrowly missed them and their friends sitting in the garden. They were not impressed. Just as we hadn’t been for years. 💪

Original poster

Tricho · 27/07/2024 19:17

itainthalfhot · 27/07/2024 19:15

there you go, a nice polite friendly chat with the neighbours should sort your issue out.

i assume its YOUR fence and not THEIR fence?

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Several chats haven't sorted anything out, and according to the deeds it's a shared boundary which we are both responsible for

OP posts:

itainthalfhot · 27/07/2024 19:17

Tricho · 27/07/2024 19:15

Also, a conversation was my first action, and I've had several since. Nothings changed so my tactics have to - try reading again?

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ah i thank you for your petty comment... you say you have spoken to the neighbours about the NOISE...

i have a measure of you now... enjoy your petty games with the neighbours balls..

Original poster

Tricho · 27/07/2024 19:18

itainthalfhot · 27/07/2024 19:17

ah i thank you for your petty comment... you say you have spoken to the neighbours about the NOISE...

i have a measure of you now... enjoy your petty games with the neighbours balls..

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Yes and I you, enjoy trolling strangers on the Internet my love, must be all you can do in this heat xx

OP posts:

Original poster

Tricho · 27/07/2024 19:20

NotKeepingQuiet · 27/07/2024 19:17

We had NDNs’ children and adult friends smashing footballs into a brand new fence we’d been asked to pay £hundreds towards. Money comes easily to them we concluded as they weren’t bothered about the damage. We were.
When the doorbell rang we answered to sullen children whose only utterance was “Our balls’s in your garden.” No sorry, would you mind, etc.
Would they kick the balls the other way, please, we asked. “No. They go over into that garden too.” (In fact it was their besties’ garden and we very much doubted their assertion.)
One day, quite by chance, I hit on the answer. As I lobbed a ball back over the fence, I must have narrowly missed them and their friends sitting in the garden. They were not impressed. Just as we hadn’t been for years. 💪

I have to admit I did lob one over back once with the intention that they notice - then it hit the bins and I went round to apologise 🤣

OP posts:

Ponkpinkpink15 · 27/07/2024 19:24

Maverickess · 27/07/2024 19:02

This has been my solution to the constant balls against the fence and in my garden, I first used to rescue and throw back, then I used to rescue, put out of reach of the dog and they'd come into the garden and collect.
Now they stay where they are and if the dog gets them, tough shit. They feel quite at liberty to climb my fence and break it so it's not my problem if the dog gets the ball.

Some nettles have 'grown' where they were breaking the fence to get in, which solved that problem and I've always been fair and said they can come and get them if they come over, but after being told to fuck off when asking them to use the gate instead of coming over the fence and breaking it, and them threatening to 'kick the dog in the head' if she damaged the ball she caught as it came flying over, I'm done. Gate gets locked and the dog gets the ball.

My garden doesn't border anyone else's either, they are using my neighbours access to their yard as a goal area and playing in the street - they live across the road and have front and back gardens and there's a field at the top of the road with lines and goals.

Haven't had any for a while.

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@Maverickess

any little fuck threatening to kick my dogs head in would find himself wetting his pants. I have a friend who looks like he'd eat a mouthy kid before breakfast (he's actually as soft as clarts, but they don't know that)

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 27/07/2024 19:25

If they come round for it. Ask for a description and give them the one that closest matches it.

KEEP THE OTHER ONES, until they can specifically describe it in detail.
You can point out that it may belong to someone else or it is at lost property at the police station (do they even do this now that Sergeant Dixon has passed away?)

Comicalanatomical · 27/07/2024 19:26

Tricho · 27/07/2024 18:03

I don't intend to at all tbh! I wouldn't have thought much of it but a friend mentioned it could be xlassed as stealing ???

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It’s not stealing because you haven’t dishonestly appropriated them and you don’t intend to keep them. It’s nothing to do with the Police. Your friend is misinformed.

Wonderwall23 · 27/07/2024 19:26

To me this is one of those neighbourly things where perception is everything and without directly experiencing it I don't know how bad it really is. Phrases like 'noise travels straight through the house' and 'in the summer hols it's gone crazy'....I could turn up at yours and it be horrendous and I'd agree with you. Or equally find it not that bad and leave thinking you are a real pernickety busy-body who moans at everything!

You seem fairly measured so I'm thinking it's probably the former in your case but I've no advice, I'm afraid.

To be honest I'm biased as my DS plays football outside and the balls bashed the fence and went over on occasion (however we were very conscious of this so we now have an area around the other side of the house set up for him to play...which doesn't back on to anyone). I think the one thing I would add as a different perspective is that it's not always laziness to not collect. If one of DS's balls went over we said he'd have to be patient and wait for the neighbour to see and throw it back...because we didn't think it was fair to put her out by going and knocking.

Suggestions of dogs biting the ball or deliberately knifing them are awful. Not the first time I've seen a similar thread and a good example of seeing a side of people I feel very uncomfortable with on MN.

Ponkpinkpink15 · 27/07/2024 19:28

Tricho · 27/07/2024 19:01

I'm half convinced no ones collected them because their mum likes the quiet it brings as much as a I do - when I first mentioned the noise she said "I know they've got my garden and plants wrecked too but what can we do?"
Helpful.

@Tricho

im surprised you didn't say 'parent'

how old are the kids?
do you have a park nearby?

I don't mind small children kicking balls in the garden, but once they're bigger they need to take the ball elsewhere!

your dog might be small, but I bet her teeth aren't any less sharp!!

your friend is being a div! You haven't refused to give them back & they kicked them into your garden! Theft 🤣🤣🤣🤣

BabySnarkDoDoo · 27/07/2024 19:30

You'll get people telling you the most important thing is that kids are playing outside and not sat on screens all day. I'm with you though, it's selfish for kids to continue to play with hard footballs when gardens are small and they don't have the ball skills to not kick them over everyday. The fact that you've spoken to them and expressed concern they'll damage your property makes them especially inconsiderate. I'd be more understanding if they agreed to switch to softer balls and showed some basic manners, like popping around with an apology for the inconvenience.

CovertPiggery · 27/07/2024 19:34

Wonderwall23 · 27/07/2024 19:26

To me this is one of those neighbourly things where perception is everything and without directly experiencing it I don't know how bad it really is. Phrases like 'noise travels straight through the house' and 'in the summer hols it's gone crazy'....I could turn up at yours and it be horrendous and I'd agree with you. Or equally find it not that bad and leave thinking you are a real pernickety busy-body who moans at everything!

You seem fairly measured so I'm thinking it's probably the former in your case but I've no advice, I'm afraid.

To be honest I'm biased as my DS plays football outside and the balls bashed the fence and went over on occasion (however we were very conscious of this so we now have an area around the other side of the house set up for him to play...which doesn't back on to anyone). I think the one thing I would add as a different perspective is that it's not always laziness to not collect. If one of DS's balls went over we said he'd have to be patient and wait for the neighbour to see and throw it back...because we didn't think it was fair to put her out by going and knocking.

Suggestions of dogs biting the ball or deliberately knifing them are awful. Not the first time I've seen a similar thread and a good example of seeing a side of people I feel very uncomfortable with on MN.

Edited

It sounds like you're a decent neighbour as you've done something to stop balls coming over the fence.

I agree re knifing the ball and if the odd stray ball found its way into my garden, I'd rescue it from my dog, but if someone was constantly kicking balls into my garden and kept doing it after I'd spoken with them, I'd think it was natural consequences for my dog to bite a hole in it.

Original poster

Tricho · 27/07/2024 19:37

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 27/07/2024 19:25

If they come round for it. Ask for a description and give them the one that closest matches it.

KEEP THE OTHER ONES, until they can specifically describe it in detail.
You can point out that it may belong to someone else or it is at lost property at the police station (do they even do this now that Sergeant Dixon has passed away?)

This is such good advice ! I have about five neighbours adjacent in some way so I'll definitely be doing this

OP posts:

MumblesParty · 27/07/2024 19:40

In general MN hates boys, especially the ones who play football.

Of course it’s annoying, but it’s part of living in a community.

When my kids were babies the boy next door kicked his ball over all the time. I just let him climb over and get it back. He outgrew garden football and the balls stopped coming.

A few years later my kids were football age. They used to kick a ball around in the garden, and maybe every few days in the summer one ball would go next door (other neighbour). I told them to be more careful, but short of banning them playing outside, there was nothing I could do. Their grandad would play with them and sometimes he’d kick a ball over, it’s hard not to. I’d have happily paid for a 20 foot fence, but the maximum permitted is 6 foot. Neighbour made such a fuss - kept the balls, let the dog bite them, lectured my son when he went to get them (he used to put notes through the door apologising profusely) , texted me. It was a massive overreaction.

Now my kids have outgrown garden football so it doesn’t happen any more. Meanwhile neighbours son has become a car enthusiast. He owns about 4 cars, and has friends with cars, and they come round and fill the pavement with their cars. Then stand around for hours, revving the engines and talking about cars. The pavement next to my garden has become a makeshift workshop for him. It’s annoying. But I don’t say anything. It’s life with neighbours.

And I bet your dog barks OP, which I would find annoying.

billybear · 27/07/2024 19:40

i feel your pain i had same problem got a big greenhouse, my dog got hit by ione football that was the final straw,we have a large football pich /park 2 minutes away, they also damaged the plastic outside edge on my garage which is at the rear of my house, when i spoke to the parents words failed me they said i was being unneighbourly,well we havent spoken since thats been 5 months,the kids glare at me i glare back, good news the footballs stopped, a few neighbours spoke to me and thanked me, they were fed up with them hitting their cars on their drives

Comicalanatomical · 27/07/2024 19:43

itainthalfhot · 27/07/2024 19:05

and can't you tell the summer holidays are here... all these posts about kids making a noise in their back garden really make me sick.

kids are kids and we were all one once.. why don't you act like a fully grown adult and instead and being petty and hanging on to the balls or letting them down or doing whatever else has been suggested why don't you have an actual conversation with the parents?

I’m guessing from your attitude that you’re one of these ineffectual parents who allow their little darlings to make life a misery for other people. You’re part of the problem.

CovertPiggery · 27/07/2024 19:44

MumblesParty · 27/07/2024 19:40

In general MN hates boys, especially the ones who play football.

Of course it’s annoying, but it’s part of living in a community.

When my kids were babies the boy next door kicked his ball over all the time. I just let him climb over and get it back. He outgrew garden football and the balls stopped coming.

A few years later my kids were football age. They used to kick a ball around in the garden, and maybe every few days in the summer one ball would go next door (other neighbour). I told them to be more careful, but short of banning them playing outside, there was nothing I could do. Their grandad would play with them and sometimes he’d kick a ball over, it’s hard not to. I’d have happily paid for a 20 foot fence, but the maximum permitted is 6 foot. Neighbour made such a fuss - kept the balls, let the dog bite them, lectured my son when he went to get them (he used to put notes through the door apologising profusely) , texted me. It was a massive overreaction.

Now my kids have outgrown garden football so it doesn’t happen any more. Meanwhile neighbours son has become a car enthusiast. He owns about 4 cars, and has friends with cars, and they come round and fill the pavement with their cars. Then stand around for hours, revving the engines and talking about cars. The pavement next to my garden has become a makeshift workshop for him. It’s annoying. But I don’t say anything. It’s life with neighbours.

And I bet your dog barks OP, which I would find annoying.

It's nothing to do with them being boys in my view.

I don't want my greenhouse, windows, pots or plants being damaged.

Surely it's not neighbourly to damage things in your neighbour's garden.

Chichimcgee · 27/07/2024 19:44

Tricho · 27/07/2024 18:55

I do have a dog but she's probably the same size as these balls 🤣🤣🤣 it did cross my mind to do that but I don't think people would conceivably believe it was her!

She does go utterly berserk when they come over though which is another reason I hate it!

It seems to have stopped with this latest one coming over - still no collection!

I would tell the parents that the ball nearly hit the dog and are they willing to pay vets bills and solicitor fees when it inevitably happens or would they rather teach their children some manners?

Maverickess · 27/07/2024 19:46

Wonderwall23 · 27/07/2024 19:26

To me this is one of those neighbourly things where perception is everything and without directly experiencing it I don't know how bad it really is. Phrases like 'noise travels straight through the house' and 'in the summer hols it's gone crazy'....I could turn up at yours and it be horrendous and I'd agree with you. Or equally find it not that bad and leave thinking you are a real pernickety busy-body who moans at everything!

You seem fairly measured so I'm thinking it's probably the former in your case but I've no advice, I'm afraid.

To be honest I'm biased as my DS plays football outside and the balls bashed the fence and went over on occasion (however we were very conscious of this so we now have an area around the other side of the house set up for him to play...which doesn't back on to anyone). I think the one thing I would add as a different perspective is that it's not always laziness to not collect. If one of DS's balls went over we said he'd have to be patient and wait for the neighbour to see and throw it back...because we didn't think it was fair to put her out by going and knocking.

Suggestions of dogs biting the ball or deliberately knifing them are awful. Not the first time I've seen a similar thread and a good example of seeing a side of people I feel very uncomfortable with on MN.

Edited

The odd ball now and again isn't a problem, in fact it wasn't a problem when it was more frequent, nor was them coming into the garden and getting them, using the gate, it's the deliberate breaking of the fence and the gobbing off and threatening my dog that's made me conclude that I'll show them and their property as much respect as they show me and mine.

I was easy going and neighbourly about it all until I caught them kicking at the fence to create a path through, asked them not to and got a mouthful. And within a week when yet another one came flying over and the dog got hold of it before I did and she got threatened.

So tough now, and I don't care if you think that's awful, the kids playing and the balls in the garden aren't the issue, the blatant and deliberate damage and threats are.

MumblesParty · 27/07/2024 19:48

CovertPiggery · 27/07/2024 19:44

It's nothing to do with them being boys in my view.

I don't want my greenhouse, windows, pots or plants being damaged.

Surely it's not neighbourly to damage things in your neighbour's garden.

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My kids footballs never damaged anything. I think a small child would have to be pretty strong to kick a ball over a 6 foot fence with such force that it broke a greenhouse (which OP doesn’t have anyway).

MumblesParty · 27/07/2024 19:52

Chichimcgee · 27/07/2024 19:44

I would tell the parents that the ball nearly hit the dog and are they willing to pay vets bills and solicitor fees when it inevitably happens or would they rather teach their children some manners?

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Can you post links to all the times dogs have been injured and needed vet treatment, as a result of a ball going over a fence? My kids had footballs punctured by dogs in parks over the years (often in parks where dogs are banned), and one dog decided to rip half my son’s arm off once, while he was playing football in a park. But I’ve literally never seen a dog injured by a ball.